“All the good ones are taken.” If you’re a single gal, or you’ve ever been a single gal, you’ve either
A) said this yourself, or
B) heard another single gal say it, and nodded your head in agreement.
Well, it’s not true. And? It’s offensive.
All The Single Fellas
I, personally, know of several upstanding, successful guys, who have been single for at least a year, minimum. Why? Because they’re waiting for the “right” lady to come along, and aren’t interested in dating, just for the sport of it. You heard me right: they are not looking for a hookup. They are looking for the real-deal. “Single, mature young men, without commitment issues? Openly looking for a long-term relationship?” They are not unicorns, ladies; they are real, and when you hear what they have to say, maybe you’ll think twice about all of that “all the good ones are taken” business.
It is hard enough being expected to be a respectful, godly, and upstanding man on one hand, and seeing the women that we are interested in often fall for the exact opposite of what they say they want. But it is completely maddening to see women fall for the same type of cheap objectification and destructive appeals to venal human nature that men have been plagued by for generations, and to have that celebrated as progress rather than being viewed for what it truly is: degrading
Hindsight is 20-20
How many times had I compromised myself in an attempt to win the affection of someone that was totally undeserving? How many times had I turned my back on what I knew was right, just because I wanted some cute girl to think I was cool? How many times had I made myself ultimately vulnerable to a woman who I knew wasn’t interested in me in a “real” way? Looking back on it, I see that I was looking to other people to define my value, rather than knowing my value, and standing firm on it.
If you allow an unworthy woman to define your value, do you know what your value will be? Zero. Nothing. Less than nothing. Disposable. And that’s exactly how I felt. And when you allow yourself to be treated as if you’re disposable, you begin to believe that you are disposable, so that when you do cross-paths with a really amazing, godly woman, you will not feel worthy of her affection. Not only that, but I’m convinced woman have a sixth-sense about this kind of thing; they can “smell” when a guy doesn’t value himself, and generally, they keep their distance. Like I said, the “good ones” are looking for the real-deal. Are you preparing yourself for that, or are you caught-up in pursuing girls who will ultimately treat you like you’re disposable? When you meet a “good one,” will she see a guy who knows his value and stands firm on it, or will she see a guy exhausted from chasing down the shadows of him self-worth?
Well, it’s not true. And? It’s offensive.
All The Single Fellas
I, personally, know of several upstanding, successful guys, who have been single for at least a year, minimum. Why? Because they’re waiting for the “right” lady to come along, and aren’t interested in dating, just for the sport of it. You heard me right: they are not looking for a hookup. They are looking for the real-deal. “Single, mature young men, without commitment issues? Openly looking for a long-term relationship?” They are not unicorns, ladies; they are real, and when you hear what they have to say, maybe you’ll think twice about all of that “all the good ones are taken” business.
It is hard enough being expected to be a respectful, godly, and upstanding man on one hand, and seeing the women that we are interested in often fall for the exact opposite of what they say they want. But it is completely maddening to see women fall for the same type of cheap objectification and destructive appeals to venal human nature that men have been plagued by for generations, and to have that celebrated as progress rather than being viewed for what it truly is: degrading
Hindsight is 20-20
How many times had I compromised myself in an attempt to win the affection of someone that was totally undeserving? How many times had I turned my back on what I knew was right, just because I wanted some cute girl to think I was cool? How many times had I made myself ultimately vulnerable to a woman who I knew wasn’t interested in me in a “real” way? Looking back on it, I see that I was looking to other people to define my value, rather than knowing my value, and standing firm on it.
If you allow an unworthy woman to define your value, do you know what your value will be? Zero. Nothing. Less than nothing. Disposable. And that’s exactly how I felt. And when you allow yourself to be treated as if you’re disposable, you begin to believe that you are disposable, so that when you do cross-paths with a really amazing, godly woman, you will not feel worthy of her affection. Not only that, but I’m convinced woman have a sixth-sense about this kind of thing; they can “smell” when a guy doesn’t value himself, and generally, they keep their distance. Like I said, the “good ones” are looking for the real-deal. Are you preparing yourself for that, or are you caught-up in pursuing girls who will ultimately treat you like you’re disposable? When you meet a “good one,” will she see a guy who knows his value and stands firm on it, or will she see a guy exhausted from chasing down the shadows of him self-worth?
I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.
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