LOVE: HAVE WE BECOME SUPERFICAL

It really has me flummoxed when I hear that yet another single person has resigned him or herself to a lifetime of solitude. Surely in our nation of 60 million plus unmarried eligible, there should be a plethora of decent singletons out there? In fact I find it absurd that, during our desperate searches for a mate, (hopping from bar to club to late-night diners without so much as a peck on the cheek or a phone number on a serviette), we should so often have to go home alone.

Undoubtedly there's got to be someone out there who fits the criteria for our future mate, right? Or perhaps one too many of us has accepted as gospel English rock singer Ian Hunter Patterson's lyrics, which say: "All the good ones are taken."

If we are to believe his husky crooning then, before we even employ our weapons of mass seduction to enter the dating ring, we've already accepted that we're completely out of luck ...

But hold on!  the good ones aren't all taken, there is no drought, there are a slew of decent people in this town and those excuses we so often bounce around in an attempt make ourselves believe it's not our fault can be thrown out the window. Quite simply, we're just too fussy. Or are we?

Everything else in our society is so disposable, we've begun to see our relationships in the same way, and are often given the flick for the most fickle of reasons: "not hard bodied enough or too skinny; not funny enough or too fun loving; not wealthy enough or too ambitious; not smart enough or too academic; far too nice or not nearly nice enough; not sassy enough or too forward ... and on it goes.

"Personal preferences aside, have we as a collective really and truly become *that* superficial and *that* full of our own self importance that we demand such things? Do we no longer care that someone might have a beautifully kind heart or a gorgeous sense of humour or an attractive trait of helping others?? Really?"

Really wants to know what other people have found attractive in their partners in the hope of finding out that "the material and aesthetic, that a pretty or a handsome face isn't what it is all about".

We spend too long (on the blog, with our friends) focusing on the difficulty in finding someone ... 'Where are all the nice boys/girls etc' ... the problems that can happen when we do find that someone ... 'I'm not ready for a relationship/They leave the toilet seat up/They spend too much time with their friends etc' ... and the fallout after relationships end ... What about when love really did conquer all? Whether it comes from the currently happily coupled-up or those that once were ...

Personally I need a reminder that things *can* work out, that relationships *can* be sustained even through hardships, that they can grow and become stronger as a result. That some people are actually interested in a partner who navigates these things with them, who are interested in working at a relationship instead of tossing it aside at the first sign of a challenge and trying to find another temporary 'fit'.

I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.