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PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER: MY LOVE

My love,


Another day goes by I still have not found you. Are you still searching for me? Have you forgotten me? Do we pass each other every day and still not find each other? I have been searching for you. I think about you all of the time, I dream of you when I sleep. I am lost wandering aimlessly looking for you. Another day goes by; my heart is empty without you. We are meant for each other, put on this earth to have each other. I will never stop searching for you. Find me and save me from this loneliness without you. We have never met , we have never spoken , I know that you’re out there somewhere searching for me. You are my soul mate, everyone has there one true love. You are mine. Don’t give up find me, never stop searching. I have no evidence that you exist, I feel you in my heart. I will wait forever.

Love,
Me






Dearest

I know your face by heart. Your image is embedded in my mind. Where do I define where you begin and I end? You are in the inner most parts of my soul. I didn't think I was the type to fall in love. There has been no other to tug at my heart. I know now that I wouldn't last a day without you. How could you touch me that way? How did you become my soul so quickly? All that I need is you. You are my heart beat, the pulse that keeps me alive. You became my salvation before I knew I needed saving. You are so many things to me, too many to name in one letter. May this be the start of a lifetime of letters of love.

I hope I can be as much to you, now and forever.

Love always,


Oh My Darling 

Are you aware of the feelings you provoke inside the deepest parts of my soul? Do you know that when I look in the mirror it's not my face I see but yours? I constantly imagine your touch and the sensations that delight my very being. I held my love deep in my heart. It was not something I would easily give to the first sweet smile I encountered. Others have tried to reach deep and retrieve my love, but they were not you. You have awakened the love that was ready to spill from my soul. The love I've kept welled and sealed because I could not be sure if my feelings were real or just an infatuation. I have not one doubt that you are the one, the only heart to whom I can give my love. You are the rarest and most valuable jewel to treasure. In your presence are riches and riches that can never be duplicated by any other. Say you feel the same love and become my soul mate, my life long love.

my heart and soul are yours forever,

My heart and soul are yours forever,





Dear 

Consider the possibilities of loving me. You would have someone by your side, at your feet, who adores you. You would know that the only thoughts on my mind are those of you. I would spend my life dedicated to making your dreams come true. All because I love you. The mysteries that draw me to you are unending. Each day would be filled with discovery as we find out more about each other. Love is a complicated passion, woven with intricate glimpses into another's soul. I ache to know these intricacies. I ache to know you. Let me show you how much I care. Let me be the one to share your love. Say you'll be mine. I can think of no other life than one spent loving you.

I am the destiny of your love,





Darling

There was a time when the thought of seeking someone to love was at the bottom of my list. A solitary walk on the beach was more attractive than being wrapped in a lover's arms. There just existed too many complications in loving. I had no need to care for anyone other than myself. Now I see how self-absorbed I was. I don't understand what made me think that I could survive on my own. I didn't see the need for companionship. Wasn't that a concept that could easily be shared with a pet? I suppose that I was so lonely that I couldn't describe it. I could only deny that I needed another. Work and accomplishments could not satisfy the emptiness, yet in my stubbornness I would not seek you out. I still don't know what you saw that made you look past the disguises. I thought I fooled everyone in that I needed no other. In truth, I can confirm that all my life I needed you. You completed me and filled the empty place in my heart. You made me whole.

I love you more each day, now and always

I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.

PERSONAL/LOVE LETTER: DEAREST SOULMATE

Dear whoever you are....the following are love letter for you:




Even in the cold darkness of the winter night, as the quilt around me imprisons my body to stillness, the mind within this weary head does not really rest as it lay upon the cool linen of my pillow. My mind whirls with daydreams and memories, diverse reflections of you, precious recollections and thoughts that are first, gentle & loving, followed by those that are erotic & wild. Alas, all this is nothing new, for as hard as I try to be realistic, my waking mind is frequently filled with thoughts of you.

When exhaustion, finally overcomes me, and slumber give my body rest, even then, my mind does not find respite, for that is when thoughts of you become dreams.

In one of my dreams, it is a warm springtime night, and I am lying in bed, but am not asleep. I watch as streams of faint light from the clouded moon seep through the open window across the room, providing just enough illumination for me to see the curtains covering it. Quietly, I consider the ghostly, sheer fabric, slowly dancing about in the gentle breeze, both curtains seeming alive, displaying a yearning for each other, as if each has a human desire to wrap around the other in a passionate embrace, vividly reminding me of our shared passion.

Hushed and still, I enviously observe the curtains entwine in their increasingly frenzied dance of ardor. My heart provides the music for their dance, pounding, beating in a furious and hot-blooded rhythm. Suddenly, tears begin to stream down my cheeks as I become conscious that the curtains are mere objects, having not a thinking mind, beating heart or living body.

As I watch these bodyless things give the impression of enjoying the passionate intimacy I so desire with you, the one woman I truly love, the one who excites my very being unlike I have ever known before, resentment of the curtains, these things, begin to emerge from my soul. Then, my dream ends abruptly in sad acceptance that in that room only those lifeless objects will make the entwining movements of passion that night.

My darling, I yearn for our bodies to entwine again, mine with yours, yours with mine, just as those imaginary curtains. But unlike them, you and I are real, alive with desires, wants and needs. I want again for all my senses to be heightened as only you can do. I want to hear your affectionate whispers and naughty remarks in my ear; feel the gentle touch of your fingertips trace lightly across my pale, sensitive flesh; taste your soft, moist lips as they meet mine in a passionate kiss; see my own primal and ecstatic reflection mirrored in the erotic, deep brown pools of your eyes; smell your unique and wonderful masculine fragrance as we unite, blending and merging until the heat of our passion fuses our bodies into one unified being.

I do so desire you to occupy the vacant space next to me, to warm the cool sheets, heat the cold emptiness with your fiery touch, igniting uninhibited passion with me. I cannot help but wonder if that empty place will remain forever barren of you, with only my intangible memories providing sustenance for your essence, and my dreams, both day and night, rapidly becoming a whirling-twirling, never-ending fantasy in my mind.

Ah, my sweet love, it is true that I do ache to see you, touch you, hold you and love you again. That ever active mind of mine knows that cannot be at this time, so instead of holding you, my arms shall clutch a lifeless, unresponsive pillow while I wonder if I shall ever have you here next to me. Darling, of many things in this life, I am unsure. But, of one thing, I am very certain, and that is that I shall always love you, completely and sincerely.

Loving you forever and always




PART 2

With dysphoric heart, I concede distance now separates our mortal bodies from touching, so it is my lover's plea that you dream...with me and of me.  When, after an arduous day, your weary body rests, allow your sleeping mind to reach out through the black, velvet sanctuary of night, to pull me close to you, enfolding me securely within your powerful embrace.  Then, allow your slumbering spirit to dance with mine, just the two of us, slowly twirling and swirling about the universe on the soft, black velvet of night, amidst the shimmering light of the heaven's stars.  My love, the only music necessary for our dreaming dance of passion will be the sounds of our thundering hearts as they beat in perfect unison, combining with the melodious sound of our lover's secret whispers.


In your dream, feel the warmth of my breath upon your neck as I lay my head upon your shoulder, and you pull me closer and closer, until our bodies ultimately entwine until there is no you and no me, just us, a singular united life force overflowing with passion so ardent its strength can overcome nature's obstacles that lay between us, the seemingly endless miles; the lofty mountains crowned with snow; the sheltering, lush green valleys; unquenched desert sands, and determined rivers coursing their ribboned paths to unite with the dark, immeasurable fathoms of the powerful sea.


Until our mortal bodies can be reunited, do continue to dream with me.  Until our eagerly anticipated reunion of flesh and blood occurs, whenever night falls, when the sun bows her brilliant head to the cool light of the moon's, if we dream together, our spirits shall unite in our intimate dream dance amidst the stars on the soft, black velvet of night.


Loving you always





PART 3


Being apart from you during the hours when the sun glows with warmth and light is difficult, but when that golden sphere vanishes into the western sky, my craving for you intensifies, and the difficult often becomes unbearable. When the sun is replaced by the moon—light is replaced by darkness—an emptiness invades me, often consuming me, permeating the depth of my being and soul.


Each night without you, in a vain attempt to ease my yearning for you, I hold my pillow close, but it is of no real consolation. My Love, caressing that lifeless, heartless, soulless substitute for you seems to only emphasize my longing, with its true purpose being nothing more than a mere thing, an object to absorb the many tears I shed as my very heart and soul ache for the real you.


Each night without you, I reach for your photograph, and run my fingertips across the image of your lips, longing to feel their delicate texture softly touch mine, and am overcome with a thirst, one that can only be quenched with love’s sweet wine from your precious mouth.


Each night without you, I gaze at the image of your sparkling eyes, and my heart aches to see not a flat, cold image, but the depth and warmth of your real eyes and, I long to see my own image reflected therein.


Each night, with your picture lovingly held in my hands, I am overwhelmed with an urge to reach out my hands to you, to hold not just a mere photograph, but embrace your wonderful face within them, to then marvel at your sweet smile, and then lean my head closer to feel your warm breath upon my skin, and hear gentle whispers of love from your mouth.


Alas, the picture is much like the pillow—lifeless, heartless and soulless—neither one a worthy substitute for the real you, my dearest Love. So, it is each night without you, I endure the unbearable while I clutch my pillow and hold your picture. My Dearest, there is nothing that will eradicate this longing for you, except the real you.


Loving you always



PART 4

With the darkness enveloping me and all that surrounded me, and with my head gently resting upon my pillow, my arms encircled and caressed another pillow for a necessary, but incomplete imitation of you.  Slowly, ever so slowly, I drifted off for much needed rest into that peaceful oblivion we call sleep.  But, all the while my body rested, my mind worked, spinning dreams of you in delicate imagery etched upon the walls of my soul.  Swiftly, the dreams changed from scene to scene, with one merging into the other, until there was no beginning and no end, just one magnificent visual and sensual reflection of all that is you.


My masculine filled the emptiness of the room as your feminine essence moved about me, then laid down beside me, reaching out to me, tracing my face with your fingertips, touching my lips with your gentle but passionate kisses, then embracing me as I have never before been held.  My moans grew louder as your breath united with mine, creating only one breath between the two of us while our bodies entwined, one into the other, joining our warm flesh, blending our bodies into one being, complete and whole.


The golden saucer-shaped Sun peeked through my window, and touched my drowsy eyes with warm, early morning light, causing them to open to the harshness of unwelcome reality.  While the image of you, of us, of our being one faded with the brightness of light, tears flowed down my cheeks to stain the pillow I still lovingly embraced within my arms, their salty wetness falling upon the still necessary, but incomplete imitation of you.





PART 5


I think you know not the power of your love for me. The mighty light your love gives forth is so brilliant that it traverses across the miles and shines directly into my heart, piercing my very soul, causing me to shriek in ecstasy while tears of delight leave stains upon these cheeks of mine.

I think you know not the power of your love for me. In your softest whisper you call my name and tender words of affection from afar, and yet, somehow I can hear your voice as it makes the impossible journey from your lips to my ears.

I think you know not the power of your love for me. When your body tires from daily struggles, and upon your pillow your head rests, your arms yearn to hold me within them, miraculously reaching across the distance, wrapping themselves around me with an embrace so real that I also feel the warmth of your gentle breathing upon my neck.

I am convinced you know not the power of your love for me





PART 6


Dearest,

O, what shall this man write? The blank piece of paper before awaits my words, but my thoughts swirl and my feelings twirl, mingling together so much so that I find it difficult to separate them into something understandable. It seems that my heart speaks one language and my mind speaks another, and the fingers that type these words do not fully understand either language. What I want to write seems simple, yet I find it difficult. I am a wordsmith, so how can this be? Is it that I want to do something that extraordinary? It seems simple enough. With my words, I want to paint a mental picture for you, one that communicates what my mind sees, and at the same time, adequately conveys the depth of emotion within me.

O, what shall this man write? Try as I may, try as I might, I cannot find words expressive enough to convey these things. Should I write that my world was a dark night, and you have become the glittering stars? Should I explain how my spirit has had an unquenchable thirst until I found your love's sweet fountain, and my heart is now overflowing? What, oh what, shall this man write? Should my words tell you that my soul was cold, and you ignited a fire, an orange and red and yellow blaze, that warms to the core of my being? Shall I admit you excite my most primal male desires? Or, shall I say that your precious presence in my world is appreciated more than mere words can convey?

Yes, that is what I shall write! Yes, that is what I want you know.

Darling, your precious presence in my world is appreciated more than mere words can convey.





PART 7

With your arms wrapped around my shoulders, and your embrace reassuring me of your love, the twilight's purple haze envelops both of us, giving silent solace to both our weary souls. The long and hectic day is past, and there is finally time for us. At twilight, there is time to look into your eyes, and see the image of my face reflected there. At twilight, there is time to lean my head upon your shoulder, and place my hand against your chest to feel the calming thumping of your heart. At twilight, there is time to whisper sweet and naughty words in your ear. At twilight, there is time to think about how much I love you, and time to do something about it. Twilight is the time designed for us.





PART 8


Oh, my love, I am completely convinced there aren’t words in the language splendid and beautiful enough to describe the passion I feel for you, but I shall, once again, attempt to convey the beauty and the intensity of what is within me with mere words.

My love for you is like a beautiful flower, but more radiant in color and sweeter in fragrance than any in the world. My love for you is like a tree, growing strong and tall, bravely stretching up to touch the blue of the heavens. My love for you is like the starlight in the sky, brilliant and dazzling against the velvet night. My love for you is like the unseen wind on a sweltering, hot day, as it soothes the sweating brow. My love for you is like water running down a mountain stream, rushing toward the valley while boasting a lush, white froth. My love for you is like the pink cotton candy at a county fair, so delicate and yet sweet to taste. Lastly, my love for you is covered in respect and admiration, just as the skin of a red apple covers and protects its treasure. Dearest, all of this love for you abides within my flesh, within my heart, within my very soul, and shall until I draw my last breath of life.


PART 10

My Darling,

My thoughts are always with you, but it seems they are especially so when I see dark shadows play in the radiance from that brilliant sphere that decorates the ebony velvet of the night sky. It is then my thoughts turn to the night I first saw your face, the very first time I looked into the depths of your eyes. In the light of the moon, you gave me not just a momentary gaze, but your eyes seemed to penetrate mine, seeking to see things deep within my very soul. There was a tenderness that I sensed, an awareness of affection that I had never before experienced. That miraculous sensation seemed to envelop me, wrapping my entire being with your loving warmth and understanding.

Although wonderful beyond explanation, I was mystified and a bit frightened by this unusual experience, so my thinking mind fought the unfamiliar encounter. My heart pounded while I tried to comprehend what was transpiring. Minutes became hours, and I finally began to relax, allowing your soul to embrace mine. The sensation was as if our souls were dancing, swaying softly to a tune only we could hear, a song to which your soul wrote the music and mine wrote the lyrics. It took me awhile to recognize and appreciate, but I finally came to understand that what I felt that moonlit night was that of my soul mate caressing my soul for the very first time.

Since that night long ago, our souls have swayed incessantly to that tune that only we know. And still yet, this miraculous experience mystifies me, but there is no longer any anxiety. Now, my mind and heart rejoice with my soul, for my soul finally knows what it feels like to have one soul know and love another.

I love you!




PART 11

My love…my weakness… I think of you all the time, every hour, every minute of everyday that I’m not with you. I smell you, I breath you, I long to have you near. I dream of you here in my arms and consuming you would be easy I fear. I will have my way. I will devour you. For the love I bear for you is uncontrollable. You are the light in my world. God or even the Gods could take you away from me and I would reek havoc among them and any mortal that stood in my path if they so did take you my love. To the ends of the earth I would travel, scorching my way with my burning desire to find even the smallest trace of your essence in this world. I will always find you. My love and devotion are yours for eternity. Passion is what we shall breath to become one. I love thee. xox Your Lover



PART 12

Dear You,

I’ve fallen.  Slowly, I think, or maybe it was fast..it all seems like such a blur now. I’m not sure how this even happened, I didn’t even like you when we met….and now….now I find ways to bring you up in conversation just to feel the way your name sounds slipping off the cliffs of my ever-excited…articulations. I could write how beautiful you are, but that’s so boring, and I wouldn’t waste arid utterances on you…….instead I would tease you with trite expressions like: your eyes are the color of the ocean off the coast of Santerini, flow into a rhythm reveling in my addiction to your crooked-tooth smile. I would sing the melody to the beat of your eyelashes, like butterfly wings slapping the sound barrier mid-flight,  I could write one thousand metaphors for the sound of your laughter. If I wasn’t me, I would tell you…I am enraptured by your constant grace, I would confess everything I never will, tell you I want to kiss you..on the insides of your wrist, in that sweet spot behind your ear, at the base of your skull, down your spine, on your ribs…….everywhere…..I would sing hymns of eternal gratitude in your honor, I’d play piano on your body and song would fill your toes, move through you, until your bones ached with harmonies found in stone churches on kentucky blue fields, I’d read to you from vintage books and caress your mind with words like celerity, ecumenical, halcyon, lothario, loquacious, mellifluous, rescind, savoir faire, scintillate….I would make you rise and fall all night long. Do it sweeter than you’ve ever known it.


PART 13


Every day I wake up thanking God for you. You have given me so much, and I don't know if I will be able to give back all that you have given me. You have been my guiding light when I was lost. You have been my rock.
         
Sometimes I feel lost and out of touch, but when you're there, I feel safe. Your voice soothes me. I could sit here and try to tell you just how I feel, but I can't find the words other than I am ecstatic we met and have gotten together after all we've gone through.
         
 I want to tell you that the love I have for you is undying. It is a love that is strong and enduring and will stand the test of time. I truly feel blessed that you have become a part of my life, and I cannot wait for the day that we can join our lives together.

 I promise to always love you and always hold you in my heart. I will always be here for you when you need me, and I will love you no matter what life brings us. You are my soul mate, and I vow to love you all eternity. I love you, baby.



PART 14

Dear love,

i’m losing faith in all of this, in love. i still think about you and wonder what you are but those times are fewer and further between. i’m gaurded and skeptical now of this magic called love. it is considered magic to many and all i can think is we live in the real world and the voice of reason tells me magic doesn’t really exist, not in any form. i’m not sure if i really believe this but it sure feels that way these days. maybe i’m just the optimistic pessimist, or the pessimistic optimist, but either way despite my attitude these days toward love i still have hope deep down and over all i’m doing well. i hope you are happy today. i am forever awaiting your arrival but still continue living on without you. maybe someday you’ll arrive but even if not i still love you.

forever yours.



PART 15


to my dearest,

the simple terms of endearment fall through my palms as i try to express my love and admiration for you. you are my soul mate and beyond the ties of matrimony. it was a blessing to have you by my side at night. a blessing to imagine our children run about in joy and scare the winds with their mighty roar… are more than enough to fill my soul to elation.

through all the beauty and the laughter, i have caused you immeasurable pain at times and for that i am sorry. you had given me your heart and i prayed to keep it safe and well every day.

our kisses have let me soar to the sun and be protected from the burns. your touch has made my arms tingle for days. i have felt you to the bottom of my belly and have your fire rise through my skin. little suns are shining in the soles of my feet and the palms of my hands are incapable of doing any thing but radiate your laughter. i must say during these circumstances it was difficult to show up to work.

i pray for your happiness and i meditate for your life to be filled with love beyond my arms. you taught me to love and to let go of love. you taught me to be free and still feel pain. even though we are uncertain if we shall make it into our old age, because of you i felt one with the universe.

my other half, i wish you nothing but the best throughout your life.

love,

I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.

LOVE: THOUGHTS ABOUT LOVE

You mean everything to me.... you are the first thing I think of when I wake up, and my last thought before I go to bed, you smile at me in my dreams. When you are sad, I feel sad. And when I see your smile, I feel like there is no other thing around, and all I can see is you

When I look into your eyes my whole world feels so right but to me its no surprise because your the best thing in my life It takes billions of people to complete the world but it only takes you to complete mine.



It’s the way I miss you even before you leave, when i know i can listen to you talk all night and never get the slightest bit tired of hearing your voice. It’s the way every time someone says your name I smile and it’s the way every time i close my eyes, I think of how much I love you and could never be without you.

Do you realize what you are to me? What you're always going to be? You are the love of my life... everyone else will always be second best. There will never be another you. You're my way of getting away from the world
 when i`m with you everything seems to be ok. Every since the first time
you held my hand  I wanted nothing more than for you to hold it forever.


You know your in love when all it takes is one song on the radio to make you think of her. You know you're in love when you can say anything to the person and you know they won't laugh at you. When you can see their face when you close your eyes. When you can still feel their arms around you holding you tight long after they are gone. When you can still taste their kiss after you have said goodbye. You can tell you're in love when you miss them before they are gone. When their voice lingers in your ears. When their presence eases any pain. When their name sends chills down your spine. When they are the only thing you can think about. You know you are in love when you can see all their hopes and dreams and their soul when you look into their eyes. When they call you at four in the morning, tell you, "I love you," and mean it. When your tears stain not only their shirt, but also their heart. When they are hurt just because of these tears. When even a simple chore done with them can become a lasting memory. Ultimately, you know you are in love when you can't imagine living without them, and can't figure how did you live before you knew them. When they fulfill every need and without them you are incomplete. The love of someone else completes the heart, sound, and mind all at once.

when you kissed me that night i couldn't help but think....this is exactly what I have waited for my whole entire life. I love you because I can't remember what life was like...before I had you. I want to get to a point where no matter whathappens ` no matter how long we go with out
being together`no matter how many fights we get into that all we need is a kiss and suddenly we remember why we love each other

Never in a million years did I think id find someone so utterly and completely perfect, someone who'd make me happier than I ever dreamed I could be, someone that would touch my life so profoundly and just give me a whole new reason to breathe, but then I found you and realized that everything I anticipated you'd be doesn’t even compare to what you are.

I dont ever want to forget out first kiss, or our last touch. or let a day go by without telling you how much you mean to me, how deeply i love you, and how much i need you. I dont ever want you to doubt the way i feel, or how much happier i am because of you.


Did you ever notice that people give up on love as they get older? When you're a little boy, all you want to do is fall in love. Then when you're a teenager, every girl you meet you think is "the one". Than when you're an adult and you have been hurt from the breakups as a teen, you're not interested in love anymore. You just don't want to be alone, so you settle for someone you might even know isn't your soul mate. I know so many adults that aren't truly where they want to be. I just try to think about what they might have went through to make them settle for second best, and I hope that doesn't happen to me.


I know that you're truly amazing because every single time you walk into a room, I instantly feel better. You make me feel that it's okay to be myself. You encourage me with my dreams, no matter how silly they may be. And the thought of you makes me smile, even when it makes me cry, because I would rather cry a million tears then to have never met you.

Have you ever met someone and thought they were the greatest thing ever and fell totaly in love with them and then realized how wrong you were about that person because they were the exact opposite of what you thought they were going to be, but you loved them some how and just cant let go of them and what they once where. You just want to forget them and move on, but you cant cause they were your first true love. You have so many emotions going on inside you and you don't know what to do about them. It makes you so mad at the world that you feel like you could break down and you don't know how to explain your emotions to your friends cause they don't understand and if they do they think it's stupid how you feel cause they never felt that way. So therefor you have no one to turn to and your stuck loving that one person who makes you feel this way.


You want to know what happiness is? It's waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and see them in their most peaceful, innocent, and vulnerable state. They breathe as though the weight of the world lays on anyone's shoulder but their own. You smile, kiss their face in the most gentle manner so as not to wake them. You turn back around and an involuntary grin forms on your own face. You feel an arm wrap around your waist, and you know it doesn't get any better than this


after we hung up the phone last night,i just sat there in the dark.all of a sudden tears started running down my face.i didn't understand how i could be crying when i was so happy, but then i realized they were tears of joy. i thought about how lucky i am to have someone like you, someone so understanding,and so caring. the more i thought about how great you are, the more the tears ran down my cheeks.

Someone once asked me *do you think it’s possible to love someone forever?* and I thought of the way I love you and said   - - - * forever isn’t long enough *

i love you so much. people say that at my age, i don`t really know what love is. well, then maybe there`s another explanation for the way i feel about you. how every second i`m away from you seems like an eternity. how every time i try to think of something else, i can only think of one thing, and that`s you. how every time i see you, i smile more and more, and how i`m so happy i could cry. how every time i talk of you to others i want to tell someone how wonderful you are. how the times i`m most happy are when i`m with you and i miss you the most right after i leave your side. maybe there is another explanation for this uncontrollable feeling inside of me, but right now, i`ll hold the thought that i love you inside my heart forever.


I love it when I am just walking away from kissing you good-bye and we both turn around at the same time to get just one more

Every long lost dream, led me to where you are. Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars. Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms. This much I know is true, that god bless the broken road that led me straight to you

 It's love when the only thing you want to see are her eyes gazing into yours. When the only thing you want to feel are her arms around you. When the only thing you want to taste are her lips against yours. When the only thing you want to smell is the gentle scent of her skin. And when the only thing you want to hear is her voice, telling you how much she loves you.



"You are my other half, without you I'm the dance without the song. I'm the heart without the soul. Without you I'm the words without the book, you mean so much to me. There aren't enough words to explain how much I care about you, and how much I need you in my life. You and I are connected in a way that goes beyond romance, beyond friendship, beyond what we've ever had before. It has defied time, distance, and changes in ourselves and in our lives. I can't explain it. I just feel it. It's there in the way my spirit subtly lifts whenever we talk, how the sound of your voice brings me home in a way I can't explain. It's in the delight I feel when we laugh at exactly the same things. When I'm with you it's like a tiny part of the universe shifts into the place it's supposed to be, and all is right with the world.


I look at you and I see my best friend. Your energy and passion inspire me in ways I never thought possible. Your inner beauty is so strong that I no longer fear being myself. I no longer fear at all. I never thought I'd find someone to love that would love me back unconditionally. And then I realize that although we were often apart, you were always with me and you were always my soul mate. You give me purpose when I feel I have none. Without you my soul would be empty, my heart would be broken, my being incomplete. I thank God every day you were brought into my life and I thank you for loving me.

I love you with every part of my being, from the inner most part of my soul. Your name on my lips is the sweetest thing I have ever tasted, other than your lips on mine. I do not breathe the same without you, the skies are less blue and the stars are duller. Your face is the most beautiful face I have ever seen, and with each day you become more beautiful to me. I do not laugh the same when you are not around, movies are more boring, and songs have less rhythm.  Your smile is the most sensational smile I have seen, I love the way your eyes sparkle almost as much as I do your dimples. I love you like no other, you're not only my friend, but my best friend, and my one and only true love.It takes billions of people to complete the world but it only takes you to complete mine.

baby,, i`m scared

because I don`t want anyone

to have your heart;; I don`t want

anyone to kiss your lips

I don’t want ANY0NE to be in your arms

I don’t want anyone to be the

One you love .. im scared because

I Don’t want anyone to take my place


dear anyone,
how do you know if you're in love? :(
and if I am in love, what can I do to get myself the fuck out of it?
-me

And in case you were wondering, you are like a sunset to me. You're all k.i.n.d.s of beautiful as you end my day.


Being near you is indescribable, I could stay here all day; you're so warm, the look in your eyes makes me so happy to be alive, the way your face feels, the way you move, every little thing you do. The smell of your hair that stays on me forever, the way you dry my eyes & promise me everything is going to be alright. The way you kiss me good night as we watch eachother fall asleep. Your feet nudging mine as we hold our hands even tighter, could you be any more perfect if you tried? Your laugh, your smile, everything about you just makes me so happy. How you told me you were never going to leave. I would never have imagined anyone like you until I met you. You're the 1st thing I think of in the morning & the last thing at night. The way you helplessly ask me to hold you. I'm in love. & sorry if I'm ever a mess it's just there's no need to put on a front when I'm with you, & sorry if I ever bore you to death, just being with you & wasting my time with you makes my day.



your eyes still give me a reason to breathe and midnight conversations still mean everything to me.This morning I woke up and saw your smile; that smile. and i knew i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.

A boy & a girl stood in life for his favorite rollercoaster. the girl shuddered in fear... her fear is heights.she glanced at the boy with watery eyes and managed to say "i can`t do this."he put his hand on her cheek and smiled. "i promise you. if you fall out, i'll go with you"



You know why you never felt that "spark" with any other guy? It's because they weren't your soulmate..They arent meant for you. They're not your one and only.And I'd rather be standing outside in the freezing cold with you
than to be warm in the arms of someone else. Lets sip hot chocolate and sit by the fire and be the winter romance everyone wishes they could have
You kissed me, and looked me directly in the eyes, & told me how much you loved me, and for that second , i knew that i was the luckiest guy alive

 Love is the most incredible, precious feeling in the entire world. But when you're in love..you get so caught up, in intertwined fingers and passionate kisses. You're completely blind to the rest of the world. It's like you're floating in midair and you can't even remember that there's a hard, cold ground waiting for you to fall on. And if you aren't careful, you fall and you get so incredibly hurt. You get bruised and broken and you can't even remember how you fell so hard. And that was what I had felt then. And that was what I was afraid of feeling again.

 Love is always a good thing no matter how much it hurts. Even after it's over, even through the pain, anyone who has ever really loved will tell you that they never regretted a second of it, no matter how much it hurt in the end. And if you tell me differently, I will tell you that you were not truly in love



he whispered to her;
the only way i could ever hurt you
is by holding your hand too tight

you are the answer to every prayer ive offered
you are a song, a dream, a whisper, and i dont know how i
could have lived without you for as long as i have.
i love you, more than you can ever imagine.
i always have, and i always will.



dear diary...
today i saw that girl and i wonder if she noticed me. She took my breath away

baby, I want the whole world to see, just how good your love looks on me


I held her close to me with my eyes closed, wondering if anything in my life had ever been this perfect and knowing at the same time that it hadn't. I was in love, and the feeling was even more wonderful than I ever imagined it could be


I learned that it is possible for two people to fall in love all over again, even when there's been a lifetime of disappointment between them. A love story like ours should be on the big screen or in the pages of a novel

The only thing better than a kiss is the moment right before your lips touch;
oh, the look in her eyes will leave you breathless. People can call it passion. Or lust. Or obsession. I don't really care. When I'm with her, touching her, is the only time I feel completely alive. If you've never felt the power of that, then I feel sorry for you

I could spend forever trying to tell you what love is. But I'd be wasting my time. Until you experience it, you wouldn't understand the simple answer: that it's too complex an emotion. It's not positive or negative. Love just is.





 bottom line ..if you want me, i'm all yours

And suddenly I got what the big deal was about kissing. How someone could suck on your bottom lip and make you come completely undone. That someone stroking the hair back from your face could make you swoon and someone sliding his hands underneath your top could make you feel wanted for the first time in your life.



My favorite part in those old movies is when the girl and the boy finally find each other. really find each other, after a lot of soul searching and heartbreak:; right after their eyes meet, the rest of the world just kinda melts away. he picks that girl up, twirls her around, and holds her like he's holding the world."

When you love someone that much and that person is away from you, sometimes it literally feels like you can't breathe, as if your body is aching for air. And then that person walks into the room, and all that ache inside of you, all that longing, dissolves and you feel yourself breathe again. But it's as if he takes the same breath with you. You're both one


You've never really lived until you found someone worth dying for...because falling in love with you was possibly the best thing i've ever done in my entire life. I can see myself waking up next to you. Your face being the first thing i see everyday.I love how just holding your hand can send scorching sparks up and down my spine.


I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.

PERSONAL: WAITING TO BE FOUND

To my future soul mate...

Although we are apart & may never have met, those of faith say that within this world of space & time, we are already together, but just can't see it yet. So, to ease the pain of relentless time, I am writing this letter in hopes that it will somehow draw your soul to mine. Truth be known, I have looked for you and still do everywhere. In the streets, in my dreams... in the eyes of every soul I meet. I have spent this time apart from you alone, setting goals, realizing dreams and becoming the man I have always wanted to be. I have had many journeys within my life, ones that I will share with you. For someday I will also learn about what you have endured in your own path, while searching for me too. There have been many who have asked me who you are and what you stand for. My response to them has always been the same, that the woman I love knows my worth and loves me more. All she asks I shall be.... so she will always know that all she needs will always begin and end with me!

They say that one's best success comes after their greatest disappointments. So here I am. No stranger to life's disappointments or love's scars, but still willing to make the journey to find love & happiness. The most wonderful of all things in life, I believe, is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a glowing depth, beauty, and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvellous thing. A sort of Divine accident. So you could say that I am here, waiting to be FOUND.

I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.

ARTICLE: Is the Key to Getting Rich Work, Risk or Luck? By: Robert Frank

The role of luck in getting wealthy is no longer just an academic issue: it's also a political one.

If we assume that wealth comes from working hard, taking great personal risk and coming up with great ideas, then the wealthy don't necessarily "owe" society for their success.

But if the rich are simply lucky, or if they get wealthy on the back of America's publicly funded infrastructure, they owe more of a debt in the form of taxes or philanthropy.

The debate over luck or work, self or community, came into the spotlight last summer with a commencement speech at Princeton by author Michael Lewis. The speech was called "Don't Eat Fortune's Cookie." Success, he said, often comes from luck and happenstance—yet the successful often "rationalize" their success as stemming from talent or work or intelligence.

"Recognize that if you have had success, you have also had luck—and with luck comes obligation," he wrote. "You owe a debt, and not just to your Gods. You owe a debt to the unlucky."

President Barack Obama reignited the debate during the election campaign with the "you didn't build that" line. Many said it was taken out of context—he was talking about roads and bridges and public schools—but it still hit a nerve. And it fueled the battle over the wealthy paying their "fair share" in taxes.

But what about the wealthy themselves? A study from Spectrem Group, the wealth research firm, shows that while some of the wealthy say luck played a role in their success, many say hard work, education and risk-taking played a much bigger role.

(Read More: Top 1 Percent Control 39 Percent of World's Wealth)

Among people worth $5 million or more, more than 98 percent cited hard work as a "wealth creation factor." More than 90 percent cited education, followed by "smart investing," "frugality" and then "taking risk."

Slightly more than half of those surveyed cited "being at the right place at the right time" as a factor in their success—ranking it far below hard work and education.

Among business owners, however, the number of self-described "lucky wealthy" is much higher: 79 percent of them cited "being at the right place at the right time" as a factor in their success. Fully 68 percent of business owners cited "luck" as a factor.


Among corporate executives, 64 percent cited "being at the right place and right time" as a factor in their success while half cited "luck."

So are the wealthy downplaying luck or is wealth truly self-made?

"One way to interpret the data is that it's a balance," said George Walper of Spectrem Group. "Some acknowledge that their success is partly based on luck. But some people don't. And maybe ego plays a role among the people who may understate the effects of luck."

DATING: THE STATISTICS OF MARRIAGE, RELATIONSHIP AND LIFE. THEY DON'T LIE

The statistics clearly show



-According to the U.S. census, there are 95.9 million unmarried people in the U.S. of which 45% are men and 55% are women.

-Over 50% of all singles in America have not had a date in more than two years.

-76% of women date men that are at least 6-8 years older than them

-80% of men date women that are at least 7-10 years younger than them.

-An average woman goes on about 24 dates before she finds a keeper.
She will also endure six bad dates, have six one-night stands, be cheated on four times and meet at least one partner online before that magical 24 date.And not only that, but she will spend $3,000 in the process!

-the average man is likely to kiss 23 girls, have ten one night stands and their be left heartbroken by six women.

-In the online dating world, women are afraid of meeting a serial killer. Men are afraid of meeting someone “fat.” The truth is about 3% of men are psychopaths, of which only a tiny percentage are serial killer

-15 per cent of women had ended up with a 'stalker' after a bad date or relationship.


-Of the women who are casually dating and did not identify that their last sex partner was a committed partner – almost 32 percent have a regular casual sex partner, 42 percent a ‘fuck buddy’ or ‘friend with benefits,’ nine percent a ‘booty call,’ and 17 percent had had a one-night-stand.

-Twenty-nine percent of Americans have had sex on the first date

-The most common time for breakups is around three to five months


-Nearly 45% of women have never been married,

-Men regularly marry women who are younger, less intelligent, less educated

-47 percent of American women who give birth are unmarried at the time.

-88 percent of 35- to 44-year-old women with four-year college degrees have married,

-New York state has the highest percentage of never-married women in the country, and in New York City it’s even higher. 34.8 percent of New York state women over the age of 15 have never married; in the city, it’s 41.7 percent.

Now let's say you are in a relationship:

-Percent of men who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship 70 %
-Percentage of women who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship 55 %
-Average length of an affair 2 years


-50% of women experience domestic violence in relationships


-Average dating time before marriage is around 2 years

-There’s a 50% probability that women will marry for the first time by age 27, researchers say; the probability of marriage for men doesn’t hit 50% until age 29.

-The probability of first marriage by the age of 30 is 74% for women and 61% for men

-when a couple gets married today, they have 55% chance of getting divorced.

 dismal odds of marriage for women over 30
-20% of white, college-educated women who reach age 30 without marrying can be expected to do so.
-After age 35, the figure dropped to 5%.
-For those over 40, the researchers said "perhaps 1%" would marry.

There is a noticeable decline in the fertility rate starting at age 32 to a level of about 10% per month. At 35, the miscarriage rate is 30% and the risk of Down syndrome becomes about 1/350.

I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.

DATING: SHORTAGE OF MEN ...MEANS YOU HAVE TO CHANGE

70 per cent of all American women marry before they are 24 years old. From then on, it’s a downhill slide. By the time a woman is 30, there is about one chance in two she will ever get married and at 40, only one chance in five. By the time she is 50, the chances she will marry are just one in 16, and after 60, her chances drop to one in 62.

Undaunted by the statistics, most single woman still attempts in the direction of marrying throughout their lifetimes they want to tell themselves that they at least they tried.

There is man shortage there is a study that assert that only 20% of white, college-educated women who reach age 30 without marrying can be expected to do so. After age 35, the figure dropped to 5%. For those over 40, the researchers said "perhaps 1%" would marry.

There is a large number of unmarried, over-30 woman and what most woman grew up doing was learning to be perfect, to be successful, to be in control. Control becomes an important theme because somebody in the family was wildly out of control.As you  take it down from attraction to unavailable men into what you can control. And in any good relationship, one party or the other is at some point going to have to give up control. For single women vexed by their status, the control question can be particularly confounding.

As divorce rates have climbed and birth rates have dropped, the practice has continued, leaving fewer men in the so-called "eligible" category. Soaring incomes have narrowed the marital choices for these women still further, since a lot of men will not marry a woman who make more money than them.

I hate to tell you ....when you have a surplus of women most men tend to have more alternative relationships with women. They are less likely to make commitments to women, and more apt to have higher divorce rates. And then add  a whole generation of men who wanted to remain boys, who didn't want the responsibility of being men. Adolescence for men I think used to last until 30. Now it lasts until 40 At the same time, you have women who have learned to take care of themselves--who have, in effect, become men.

And from my experience once a women becomes an emancipated, independent adult, and learns to take care of herself. she is not nearly as tolerant or accepting of any kind of settling into a relationship. She is not going to settle as easily.

And It's not that they don't want to be married, It's that they don't want to marry the men who are out there who are still brought up to believe that women's major role is to supply them, the men, with their emotional needs. Women want to marry equals...these same women, when I talk to them or even met them are expecting more, because they are not these dependent, child-like adults.

I read in so many profile a lot of single women who say they've never been happier than they are today. These are women who have master's degrees and Ph.D.'s and are into management-level stuff in corporations, and they are doing quite well. They have opted for a career, then turn around and find themselves devoid of eligible men, and in a position where they haven't developed certain skills and arenas in order to pursue men and connect to them. It's so funny. They can be confident handling difficult business interplay, they can be brilliant in the courtroom, and you put them in a social situation with a man and they are absolutely terrified.

The reality is that there are very, very few men statistically but the other side of that is that there are some.,,,they have to realize it's a needle-in-the-haystack thing. If they keep getting caught in the hay, then they can't go on.But it's really their fault, they made wrong choices. I love how so many woman tend to deny unpleasant things.

To the dismay of the unmarried woman who would like a prescription, whether for a husband or for a happy life alone, no magical elixir is known to exist. You have to change yourself.

I have met several women of about 30 who are still single, and who share one thing in common. They all have a shopping list of attributes for 'Mr Right'.

My advice to anyone with a shopping list would be to lose it and have lower expectations. Some would say 'Why should I lower my standards?'. I would say there is a difference between expectations and standards. For example there is the super successful, handsome, Alpha male, house(s), bling cars, and a girl in every city. Or there is the regular Joe, ordinary looking, steady job, small apartment who will be loyal and loving and make a great dad.

I even said to one, 'If you had to chose, lower your expectation or stay alone, what would it be?'. Back comes the answer, 'No, I shouldn't have to chose'. Stay as you are then, single'.Blunt I know, but it makes the point.

Over the past several years I have seen countless articles report on today's post-grad woman: She's career-driven, she isn't defined by marriage, she's focused on advanced education, she'd not concerned about waiting to have children. It's a domino effect of soft metrics that you don't seem to need an expensive study to figure out. If a woman focuses most of her attention on her career, then that woman focuses less attention on finding a partner, developing that relationship and introducing children into the mix.

A generalization, but one rooted in logic.

This study, though, takes it one step further. It delivers the very specific finding that "30 has emerged as a soft deadline for marriage, home ownership and career advancement, a development that has much to do with the pragmatism that informs today's younger consumer."

Let's talk about that for a minute.
So, marriage by 30. As far as I see it, it's a math-versus-fate debate.


Fact: Your chances of experiencing complications with a pregnancy dramatically increase after age 35 and grow more serious every year after. So, if you want to have multiple children without risk of complication, starting that process after the age of, say, 34, is a vital consideration.

It takes approximately one year to plan a wedding, bringing us to engagement at age 33. Most couples date for a minimum of one year pre-engagement, making 32 the year you meet the guy. So we're technically safe after the 30-year hump, but not if you want to date for more than a year, enjoy any time together as a married couple before children, or have more than two of them over one year apart once you've begun.

Yes, you can have children well into your 40s. Yes, you can meet a man and marry him three months later. Yes, you have the whole of your retirement to travel alone together. But we're talking about a life defined by the pragmatic approach. Pragmatically speaking (based on factors rooted in science), if you want a certain kind of family and future, you should aim to get married somewhere around 30.



 if you’re single and want to have kids with a partner, you need to find one now

However there is lots of evidence to show that a woman’s biological clock takes a nose-dive at age 35. I know, because that’s when I started having kids with my ex wife and for two years we tried with no success. A geneticist showed me and my ex wife at that time a graph of Down’s Syndrome and we nearly keeled over when we saw the cliff at 35. We had no idea. That Down’s Syndrome cliff, though, is a stand-in for everything, because a huge percentage of fertility statistics get bad at 35.

20% of pregnancies end in a miscarriage. This means you have almost a 50% chance of having to go through three pregnancies to have two kids, which means you should start when you’re thirty.

If you want to have babies when you’re thirty, then you probably want to be married when you’re twenty-eight. A man can work full-speed ahead on their career in their early twenties, but women cannot afford that. Women need to make time in their lives to search for a mate in the same systematic, focused way that women have been searching for careers in their early twenties. And don’t tell yourself you’re waiting until you know yourself better. Getting to know yourself is a lifelong process, and after age twenty-five, waiting to get married won’t decrease your chance of divorce.

The good news here is that a large body of research shows that you will gain more happiness by being married than by having a good job. Yes, you should not have to choose between a good job and marriage. But this is not about what is fair or what is just. It is about what is real.

You have a biological clock that does not pay attention to issues of social justice. You cannot control your biological clock and you cannot control the workplace. But you can control where you spend your time and energy, and you should look hard for a husband early on. Line up the marriage first, then the career.

I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.

PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER/LOVE LETTER:I LOVE EVERYTHING

Sitting here in the moments before dawn contemplating us and the beauty of you . Your inner-beauty which so fervently takes the reigns in the depths of my soul. Your warm and gentle heart that at times acts like my barrier of protection from the realities of this harsh and cruel world. Your child like playfulness and joy that never fails to bring a smile to my face, and of course your smile in and of its self whos beauty surpasses the human understanding of perfection. You are light even in times of darkness and you are joy even in times of sorrow.You are strength in times of weakness and you are my ever-present hero. Your love has presented me with an opportunity to redeem myself in qualities i thought i had lost. You've shown me that my own heart can feel and heal again and that i am deserving of love. I am grateful at the seemingly simple part that you have played in my transformation but the main attribute of this action which can not be over looked is the restoration of my faith in love and the most high. Through you i have reconnected with parts of myself i feared were permanently lost Thank you for being the vessel through which this healing occurred i am grateful toward you and will forever remember your kindness and great love.


I love so many things about our relationship;
I love the closeness between the two of us,
I love that you are more than just my soulmate;
You are my best friend too.

I love that we share more than just love;
we share our dreams, our fears and our thoughts.
We can talk about nothing and anything.
I don’t love just one thing about you;
I love everything





PART 2


From the moment I heard your voice I felt a connection to your soul. I can still remember exactly how youlooked the day we first met. Your beautiful eyes captured my heart and your smile erased any and all doubts that I had ever experienced. When you opened your arms I stepped into your loving, kind embrace and knew that I was "home" right where I had always belonged.

You knew just the words to say to put me at ease and when your hand reached out to hold mine, I realized that I had found my future, my soul-mate and the love that I had always dreamed of discovering. We spoke for hours about every possible subject and never ran out of words to say to each other.

I could see the longing and passion in your eyes and I am sure that it was a reflection of the incredibly intense desire that I was feeling at the same moment. The world had ceased to exist and there were only the two of us sitting next to each other, holding hands and experiencing emotions that we had never felt before.

When you first whispered the words, "I love you," into my ear as we walked along the beach, it was the happiest moment in my life. My joy was deeper, richer and more intense than I had ever dreamed possible. I can remember the tears in my eyes as I turned to look at you. The kiss we shared that night was one I shall never forget. Having to tell you "Good Night" and return home without you was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do in my life. Even knowing that you would call me on the phone later to wish me goodnight once more made our parting no easier to bear.

The moments when we were apart seemed like a bitter eternity and I could barely wait until the next time I would see you or talk to you. Never have distances seemed so long and cold and lonely. Our phone conversations would often have long moments where the two of us just held the phone to our ears and took comfort from the sound of the other's soft breathing.

You are the only person that could cause my heart to skip a beat with just a sidelong glance or a gentle smile. I gaze into your eyes and lose track of where I am, and even who I am. Your voice stirs a deeply intense longing in every fiber of my body and your caress makes me feel as though I am melting inside. These are feelings that I never knew existed and now I never want to lose these feelings, not even for a moment.

Ever since you came into my life I have known what true love and desire really are and these are emotions that many people will never know. You appear to me in my dreams and even these imaginary kisses rock my world and thrill me to the very core of my being. I can barely wait until the night is here, when I can lie in bed and dream of you once more.

I want nothing more than to spend my life with you at my side. When I wake in the morning I want to find you there beside me. When I go to sleep at night I want to feel your arms holding me, protecting me from the world.

You are the one true love of my life and I am only sorry that it took us so many years to meet. Now that we have found each other and are making a life together I will never again know the empty feelings of loneliness.You have made my life complete and I shall cherish your incredible gift of unconditional love and devotion until the moment that my body takes its last breath on this Earth.

I love you, my darling. No matter what the future holds for us I will love you until the end of time, and beyond. These words are my promise to never take you for granted or doubt the love that binds us for now and all eternity. 

Why not try your hand at writing some long love letters to your partner? The more you just let go and let it flow from your heart, the easier it gets to express yourself on paper. Surely your lover will cherish it forever!





I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.

SPIRITUAL: LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF

Imagine this....Every day, when you get up, your partner tells you

-your ugly
-no one will love you
-you can't do anything right
-every decision you make is wrong
-you will end up homless
-you will die alone
-you will never get married
-you will never have kids

You wouldn’t allow yourself to be abused like that by anyone, knowing that if you did , your self esteem would be destroyed.

Well, guess what? A lot of us are putting up with that kind of abuse, but not from a spouse or a parent. Often, the most abusive person in our lives is the one staring back at us in the mirror. The voice we use to talk to ourselves is often shockingly nasty, mean, cruel and downright damaging. And make no mistake about it; subjecting ourselves to that kind of abuse on a daily basis takes its toll, just like the abuse from another person would. In fact, it makes little difference where the abuse comes from, as long as we believe it. And when we bombard ourselves with the same messages every day, we will come to believe them. In short, self-abuse is still abuse, and it does just as much damage as being mistreated by someone else.

Self abuse is the worst kind of abuse

In fact, self-abuse has the chance to do more damage, for several reasons:

You have a lot more access to yourself. You may get a respite from an abusive partner or parent (they have to sleep sometime and you can usually get away from them for a few hours a day), but we have to live with ourselves 24/7. There’s no getting away from it.

There’s no buffer. When someone else says something mean to us, we have the chance to disagree with them. We can see how others react and get a sense that these types of words aren’t acceptable (we don’t always, but we can). But no one can hear what we’re saying to ourselves. It’s like having an invisible abuser yelling obscenities at you, and no one else can see them. We have no other perspective but our current one to view the abuse through, making it that much harder to choose a different point of view.

How we see ourselves determines our perception of how others see us. That means, that those who disagree with our twisted view of ourselves can’t make it anywhere near us. We can’t hear a word they say. Self-abuse is the most effective way to shut out all contradictory and positive messages, ensuring that the abuse continues. Abusive partners will often isolate their victims, limiting the amount of contradictory feedback they get exposed to. This is the exact same thing.

Awareness is the first key

 When you first become aware of how youve been addressing yourselves, you are often totally shocked by just how nasty you are being. You would NEVER talk to anyone like that, and yet, you've been lobbing some of the worst insults one can imagine at themselves for years.So, how can you become more aware of how you’re talking to yourself? Well, first of all, decide to pay attention to your self-talk. That intention goes a long way, and may be enough to make you conscious of how you’re addressing yourself.

Second, Imagine that you’re talking to a small, adorable child. Suddenly, you’ll be hearing every word that comes out of your mouth (or mind) through the filter of saying it to someone defenseless and innocent. Whereas before, you may have dismissed some of your self-criticism as “not that bad”, you’ll definitely become aware of the destructive nature of your words. What would you think if you heard an adult tell a small child “You’re so stupid! I hate you! You’ll never be good enough!” You’d probably have the urge to step in and protect that poor child (and possibly smack the adult). And yet, many people talk to themselves in exactly that manner.

You can’t be strong enough to withstand the abuse

At this point, some people like to point out that even though they wouldn’t speak to a child in such a horrific way, they are not children anymore, and can “handle it”. They feel that they can process the abuse, that their minds know that they don’t really mean it. This is when I have to call Bullshit.

Your mind, and especially your subconscious, knows nothing of the sort. The words you are using are a reflection of the beliefs you hold about yourself, which means that your mind is accepting all those nasty insults as truth. This, my denial filled dearies, is how you truly feel about yourselves.

How you talk to yourself reveals how you truly feel about yourself.

And thinking that you’re tough enough to withstand the torrents of abuse, that you’re strong enough to weather the constant onslaught of nastiness, is dangerous at best. Sure, maybe you can keep yourself from having a total breakdown, but you cannot subject yourself continuously to an environment of abuse and not pay a hefty price. And, let me ask you this: Why would you even want to try?

Why would you ever need to prove that you can withstand constant abuse, unless you secretly fear that you’re weak and are trying to prove yourself wrong? How is your suffering proving anything, and who, exactly, are you trying to prove it to? Just because you’re strong enough to “take it”, doesn’t mean that you have to!

Telling yourself that you’re stupid and lazy and fat and ugly will take its toll. It will absolutely affect  you, how you feel, how you interact with others and your world, how successful and happy you are, how much love and money you let into your life, your relationships with your spouse, children and friends – in short, every aspect of your reality.

You can’t exactly leave yourself

When someone’s in a truly abusive relationship, I generally advise them to get out. In most cases, the environment that they’re in will make it damn near impossible for them to shift their vibration to a better feeling one. The sheer force of the abuser and the fact that they’ll try and exert even more control over their victim once that victim becomes stronger and begins to pull away can be too compelling. 

But what happens when you’re the one abusing yourself? You can’t very well leave your own head or ship off your subconscious to be healed, while you take a nice vacay and sip Mai Tais on the beach. What happens when you take the abuser with you everywhere you go?

The good news is that, unlike with an external abuser where you can’t control them or create in their reality, you have no such limitations here. You CAN create in your own reality and you can definitely change your own vibration and elicit very different behavior from yourself. And as you do, you’ll see massive changes not only in the way you feel, but in your reality as well.

Learning to love yourself

When you run everything through the filter of talking to a small, innocent, adorable child (or anyone you really love and have no negative feelings towards), you instantly become softer. Your tone is much kinder, you don’t berate, you encourage more, you let things go (a.k.a, everyone makes mistakes), you choose nicer words, and you may even find yourself apologizing to yourself for all the past nastiness (which, incidentally, is not a bad idea).

For example, let’s say that you’re late for a meeting. Your default response may be to tell yourself how stupid and incompetent you are. Why can’t you EVER be on time (suddenly it becomes an absolute. You’re ALWAYS late…)? Why can’t you be more disciplined? You’re going to lose your job, if you carry on like this!

Now, imagine that a small, adorable child (or love object of your choice) is a few minutes late. How do you respond? The same way you used to? Unless you’re a total douchebag, you wouldn’t dream of talking that way to someone you loved. You’d be much more likely to say “That’s ok. You’re only a few minutes late (diminishing the situation instead of exaggerating it). They’ll understand. Everyone struggles with traffic. Maybe they won’t even notice.” You’d soothe the little child, tell them it was no big deal. You wouldn’t go off the deep end, spiraling into the worst case scenario (like getting fired). You’d be much more likely to treat it as an isolated incident than part of an inherent character flaw. And even if the lateness was part of a pattern, you’d be more willing to look for a valid underlying cause than condemn the offending party as “broken” or lazy or incompetent.

So, noticing how you address yourself and shifting your tone and language and intention is the first big step to recovery.

The road to recovery

The good news is that as we learn to be kinder to ourselves, as we let go of the need to be perfect, as we cut ourselves some slack and actually act as though we give a crap about ourselves, our energy begins to rapidly shift into higher vibrations. When the abuse stops, we move rapidly and often dramatically into better feelings. It’s like finally being able to breathe again after being held under water.

I’Think about it: Going back to the first paragraph in this post – if you were used to this constant barrage of abuse, with very little positive feedback to balance it out, you’d be feeling quite horrible. But let’s imagine that this abusive person was suddenly replaced by your fairy godmother, or a hot guy or girl, who constantly told you how amazing you are, how gorgeous you are, how smart and beautiful and competent and sexy you are? What if you were consistently reminded of what a bright, shining, powerful light you are and how you, yes you, have the power to influence the entire Universe for the better? Sure, it would feel weird for a bit, but after a short amount of time, that constant flow of support and love would start to sink in, and it would change you.

Well, you don’t need a fairy godmother. You can do this for yourself. It takes a bit of dedication, and yes, it feels weird as hell at first, but if you keep it up, you can expect things to get better, fast. I challenge you to try monitoring and shifting your self-talk for 30 days. Hell, even a week will bring noticeable changes (but you’ll just be out of the weird stage…) 



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