JOURNAL: DATING DOESN'T COME EASY

“When you least expect it!” I fucking hated people for saying that, especially married people. Nothing in life happens when you least expect it execept for maybe cancer and car accidents. Even someone who suffers a massive heart attack must have some prior knowledge that they were in poor health or living an unhealthy life style. My point is that I have learned that nothing, especially dating comes easy or just comes into your life with out a little blood, sweat, and yes, tears.

It sucks but you have to put in the time. That time is dating and dating, and dating some more. Do you have the time for me to tell you how many women I met on online and the awful, extremely awful experience. I laughed and I cried because I though it was a joke that dating was this hard. Then, I just stopped. I didn’t stop dating, but I stopped complaining and I opened my eyes to the fact that I needed to be very aware of who I was choosing to meet and became exrtremely choosy about the woman I agreed to go on dates with. I realized it really does take someone speacial to find someone else’s  and that someone was me!  Step two was continuing to do all the work on myself. You know you really will not find the right woman until you really know yourself.  I worked hard to grow and learn about myself and also recognize what I needed and wanted for myself, and not what others think I needed.  Lastly, and this is the corniest of all, I actually started telling myself on a daily basis that I will find my true love and how ever long it takes, I am willing to wait because I know she is out there..” But let me just say, that with saying this, I finally let go of all the bullshit of beleiving she will find me, or we will bump into each other in the grocery store. Please, I was single in New York City and the amount of single women is astouding and I not ONCE met a single woman on happenstance. Basically I am saying a lot of it has to do with attitude and once you can free yourself from thinking “Why can’t I meet anyone?” and start thinking “I will meet someone,” you truly will be alone. All of those motivational speakers have a point; what you put out there is what you will get back.

Lastly, and I know I talk A LOT, let me just end by saying that you will continue to meet woman you are not interested and woman who want perfection, and woman who just suck. Again, give me two hours I will go down the list with you about how many women I met who told me I was handsome, but not tall enough. Or my favorite, “You are so fun to talk to. I never had a real conversation with a guy before.” There are truly wonderful women out there who do not represent all the other disasters you had to meet. I used to get angry after a date did not go well or the woman was a loser, but than I realized, somewhere out there is the woman who will just get me. And love me. And be mine. Love is not about being compatible on all levels, but many levels.

I’m perfectly nice, average-looking, intelligent and intellectual, funny, creative, etc man. Yes, I’ve done internet dating. I’m not doing it any more. I am SO SICK of these women who all think they’re going to wind up with  GQ rich, tall, handsome guy. You may read this and think I’m a terrible date, but I’m self aware enough to know I’m not a disaster. Personally, I don’t feel the need to subject myself to that kind of rejection any more. These women online are either not serious or they’re deeply deluded about who they’ll wind up with. Either way, it’s not good for me.

You know what I’m doing to meet a woman? I’m having a rich and active life.. I pursue things that interest me, and I’m friendly and open to meeting people who share those interests. I have a LIFE. By the time a woman is in her 30′s, she should have her act together a little.I would not describe myself as picky at all. I’m not looking for a movie star. I don’t care if she has money, career, or car. I’m just looking for a woman who’s nice to me, makes me laugh, and uses her brain. It’s been a long time since I met a woman I was really interested in. I can hear how defensive I sound, but I’ve earned my baggage. My parents celebrated their 47th anniversary this year. I never thought I’d be spending my entire adult life alone. And goddamn celebate! This is not the life I ordered.

Neither most men nor I can do ANYTHING about “women”. Which is why I see little to no value in putting any blame on them for all of their faults. Women can be shallow and clueless and selfish  So what? What am I going to do IN SPITE of that?  Women are shallow. Woman don’t value me. It’s not fair, it’s not right, it just IS. My only choice is to find the women who are NOT that way. And I know that my negative attitude about women and dating is NOT the way to attract that rare special woman who does exist in the universe.