POETRY: YOU ASKED ME WHAT YOU MEANT TO ME

I have found the perfect woman,
Whom mere words cannot describe.
Laughter covers frustrated impotence
As the images of Heaven her existence conjures
Do not translate, do not find path from pen to paper,
From keyboard to screen, from my heart?s palate
To a medium I can share with others.
Let them see the incredible joy,
Share my unbound happiness,
See my soul smile as I think
Of her.

I can still hear the ringing
As her first ?I love you? crossed the wire.
My heart broke in a thousand pieces as this angelic voice
Said that which I so wanted to hear first
From those lips.
Even over phone, over distance, over time,
I can remember and feel the joyful pain
And live one thousand thousand lifetimes of happiness
In a memory of a minute, three words,
From her.

It seems trite and pass?ut I honestly never knew,
Never imagined, never experienced, never believed,
That love could be like this, feel like this,
Exist like this.
All else was practice, preparation,
Stepping stones in a river of lesser emotion,
So that we could meet and have a love like this
That defies logic with its intensity,
That holds unearthly precipices,
Warmth that radiates from within me, engulfs me,
Makes me feel, well, special, just thinking
About her.

And, God, the pain!
The ripping, grinding, shredding, terrifying pain
That grips my heart when life threatens to intrude
On what could be, on what should be,
On what will be.
Because the world conspires against us, against me,
So that I feel like Job tortured by the pantheon,
Attached to a puppeteer?s strings,
Just hoping that the stars align, that my patience pays off,
That there?s reason for this torture,
Because all I want is to be
With her.

30 years is not a lot, in the grand scheme,
To pretend knowledge of something as ethereal as love.
But I don?t pretend,
I know.
And what I know is that love cannot be described,
No author could be so presumptuous
As to try to describe what love is.
It?s not just a word any more to me.
It has no definition. There is simply no method
To describe the feeling... and to know
That these feelings also lie
In her.

I know the pain, the horrifying terrible doubts,
That love this strong brings.
I feel them in the shallow end of the lilt in her voice,
In the silence between times when we speak,
In her own expressed fears
As reason and logic internally argue with emotion.
In the end I submit to the terror, even to the knowledge
That in this potential failure I might never mend,
And I revel in that...in that monumental risk...
Because body, mind, heart and soul simply want to be
With her.




2

What's in a word that makes it so special?
What is it about a collection of letters?
A mere jumble of symbols is all that appears.
Nothing greater, nothing wiser, nothing better.

But, there's something deeper, something hidden.
Invisible to the eye but, blinding to the soul.
When they effect you they're unceasing.
Either bright as fire or dark as coal.

The words "I love you" said in full can melt a heart.
Said in vain they can do more damage than a sword.
They can lift you up, or drag you down.
Funny how there's power in a word.

So when you look on these words and read them in silence.
Remember, there's more than just what looks true.
I love with all of my heart, mind and soul.
These are my words... I give them to you.


3

To hear and see
to smell and taste
just to touch you

To see you glide
and move with grace
cold shivers

To hear your sweet voice
echos of sound
awakened dreams

To taste the air
you breathe so deep
heightened senses

To smell green grass
you sat upon
relaxed conscious

And to touch
oh, to touch
unforgettable


4

What i would do,
To feel your arms within mine,
To taste the sweetness of your lips,
The kindness of your smile,
The warmth in your eyes,
To embrace your heart within mine,
To hold you for forever,and eternity.


5

I dreamt I saw your silhouette early one morning.
The dew settled in your hair like it sits on a spider's web
making it look so clean and pure.
I see no evil in your eyes which seem to be big pools
that I want to search in each corner.
I wanted to reach into your soul just to understand you a little more.
I feel a strange closeness and familiarity with you.
Part of you I keep in my heart and I will always share your feelings.
Have you ever seen a atrange shape in your dream
and never want it to go away?
That's how I felt when I saw your silhouette in my dream that early morning.
Only you can make me feel this way.
Tell me who looks inside you,
tell me who so loves me deeply more than I understand.  Only you.
You make my world pure and serene.
I need that silhouette that I know and feel so comfortable with.
The silhouette comes from inside you.
I hope you see my silhouette in your dreams, too.


6

You asked me what you meant to me
not knowing what it would be
but I will explain and you will see
that you mean the world to me

You are the Earth that led to my rebirth
the fire that lit my desire
the beautiful sea that inspired me
the wind with an uplifting send
the tall standing tree that stood up for me
the wildlife that helped me through endless strife

But most of all were a soaring dove
that gave me your unconditional love
I cherish you for all of the above


7


Massage your mind with wondrous imaginings
Delight in the flavor of loving life
for the child in each of us
retains love's initial innocence.

Marvelous feelings flowing freely from the
fount of my soul
Lips spewing forth breathless platitudes
Endless litanies of life's longings.

Can one be sure of passionate desire?
But more than passion, eons past desire
Complete giving of oneself to the warmth
of another

Lissom bodies languishing in love's long embrace
Charged corpuscles racing through
the pulsating arteries of passion's
highways.

Oh sweet desire
ever driving me forward through life's
back roads
Helping me to discover the far reaches of
emotion's wide spectrum
Enabling me to feel, with all that is you,
a oneness
a totality
a summation of my existence.

O' fragile daughter of Cytherea
dare I desire you with all-consuming passion
To become one with you.
Dare I kneel before you with sweet desire
To take you on life's lustful journey
Dare we bow before love
To ride the passionate chariot of Eros?

Massage your mind with wondrous imaginings,
my love
Delight in the flavor of loving life
for the maturity within us
preserve's love's rapture.



8


why do you entice me so?
I reach out to touch you,
but, you aren't there.
I reach out to take you,
but, you aren't mine for the keeping.

So, I must content myself
with standing aside and drooling,
hoping and praying
that you can be mine,
that you will be for real,
and not just a mirage
dancing in my eyes.

Tempting me, torturing me,
my desire for you- killing me,
as you, sway... smile.
Who are you, what are you,
and why are you punishing me so, I ask?
No answer do you give, but in reply,
you are, as they say, fading like a flower.




9


How it was with you:
Countless moments of sweetness
And despair too,
My adorable, incomparable

The loveliest memory
I believe was with you,
Thus tears I?ve shed through the journey
No longer matter.

The loveliest memories
Truly are yours and mine.
If I were able to create a beautiful melody
In playing the piano and producing a song,
I?d, no doubt, dedicate it to you solely,
To complete the story of us.

The loveliest memory
Is when I?m full of you,
In my mind, my soul, my love.
With you inside? entertaining me,
I turn into the silliest person
And everything else becomes irrational.

The loveliest memory
Casts away the shallowest.
The pains no longer own meaning.
The revenge I wouldn?t recall even once.
Simply love exists at this moment I?m speaking.
So sweet and innocent,
Unconditional of the essence,
And that?s all that matters.