LOVE: THE QUESTION TO ASK

This is the question I ask women:

“Imagine you could only go to one of two places for vacation. One place is Spain, where you will enjoy coffee at sidewalk cafes while people watching, lounging on beautiful beaches under a warm sun, visiting cultural landmarks and museums, and dancing and drinking away the night in exciting clubs. You ride up and down narrow streets on a scooter, eating the best food Spain has to offer and learning to speak a few words of Spanish. The other place is Antarctica (Or Patagonia or Tibet. Season to taste.), where you will be alone with the wonder and power of the natural world, your breath taken away by awesome sights and incredible wildlife, giant glaciers loom over you and the rocky beach is filled with penguins and elephant seals. You are at one with nature, your stress melting away, and you feel alive. Which vacation do you choose?”

How a girl answers this question will reveal a lot more about her than simply what she enjoys doing on vacation. Note that the trick is to emphasize the positive aspects of each vacation destination. You want her to make her choice in a happy frame of mind, free of negative associations. Pay attention, because her answer — and the follow-up questions you will ask, such as “How does that make you feel?” — will tell you a lot about how she approaches everything in life, including relationships and men.

Here is what I have learned:

If the girl answers “Spain”…

* She is likely to be a status whore
* She is likely to do hard recreational drugs, or think about doing them
* She will be high maintenance
* She likes to dress in sexy clothes
* Her shoes are plentiful and nonfunctional
* She is a raving liberal who loathes rules, timetables, and schedules
* She is spontaneous
* She is flaky
* She is generous of spirit
* She will go out of her way to make sure everyone is having fun
* She is malleable
* She is dependent
* She is admiring
* She is exasperating
* She is a drama queen
* She wants kids, eventually
* She likes cats
* She generally likes people
* She is whimsical
* She is a glib optimist
* She frets
* She cries
* She will expect you to pay
* She loves shopping, especially on your dime
* She cares what kind of car you drive, the shoes you wear, the TV you own
* She will love getting jewelry from you
* She has a lot of superficial yenta screechaholic friends and gay boyfriends
* She prefers making love whenever and wherever the mood strikes
* She is pro-PDA
* She is an attention whore
* She is an incorrigible flirt
* She gets turned on when you ignore her
* She just wants a man who will understand her
* She is more aroused by a man’s social status than by his charm or looks
* She is extraverted
* She hates hates hates betas
* She loves badboys
* She desperately, secretly wishes to submit to a dominant man, in all ways and at all times
* She is more like her mother than her father
* She was popular in high school
* She lost her virginity later in life than you would think
* She is not particularly adventurous, but she is silly fun
* She is a party girl
* She is afraid of food
* She has an anal fixation
* She huffs lurid gossip
* She’ll keep you guessing
* She is ultrafeminine
* She might cheat and you will find out
* She has an STD and will deny if you ask
* She will heal or she will break your heart

If the girl answers “Antarctica”…

* She won’t care very much what you do for a living or how much you make
* She has smoked pot and prefers beer to cosmos
* She will be low maintenance
* She won’t dress sexily very often, and when she does it will seem unnatural on her
* Her shoes are few and functional
* She is a raving liberal who loves rules, timetables, and schedules
* She is a planner
* She is intractable
* She is selfish at heart
* She will go out of her way to make sure she is having fun
* She is set in her ways
* She is independent
* She is circumspect
* She is reliable
* She is serenity now
* She is often adamant about not wanting kids
* She likes dogs
* She generally hates people
* She is grounded
* She is a cynical fatalist
* She compartmentalizes
* She snarks
* She will almost always pay half, without hesitation
* She hates shopping, and has few yuppie possessions
* She hates materialism and prefers items with “character” instead of “price tag”
* She will love getting homemade cards from you
* She has no gay boyfriends and the few friends she has are nerdy
* She prefers making love in the bedroom
* She is anti-PDA
* She avoids drawing attention to herself
* She doesn’t know how to flirt
* She gets annoyed if she thinks you aren’t listening to her
* She just wants a man who will respect her
* She is more aroused by a man’s personality and looks than by his social status
* She is introverted
* She tolerates betas
* She is wary of badboys
* She hates controlling men, but will often wish a man would take the initiative and lead instead of her doing it all the time
* She is more like her father than her mother
* She was invisible in high school
* She lost her virginity earlier in life than you would think
* She is adventurous, but not silly fun
* She is a spiritual girl
* She loves eating
* She has an oral fixation
* She relishes moments of solitude and silence
* She’ll keep you wondering if you can do better
* She has some masculine personality traits
* She might cheat and you won’t find out
* She has an STD and will admit it if you ask
* She will heal or she will break your soul

Analyze these two lists. Which girl would you prefer to date long term? Which girl do you believe best complements your lifestyle and values? As you can see, both types of women have their advantages and disadvantages. Which advantages are more important to you and which disadvantages you despise more than the others will depend on what kind of man you are and how well you can tolerate shortcomings in the women you choose to bless with the pleasure of your company.

It’s too bad you can’t find all the positives with few of the negatives of these two lists in the same girl. I have searched near and far for such an exquisite creature but my efforts to date have been fruitless. Or perhaps my standards are extraordinarily high. Either way, my standards aren’t budging, so the search continues… joyfully.