LOVE LETTER:

What can I tell you today, I miss you and I love you. I wonder what you are thinking now. I wonder where you are and what you are doing. I wonder what you look like when you get up in the morning. I wonder how it will feel to have you next to me at night, sleeping soundly and holding me close to your body. I want to feel you in every way. I feel your energy right now and sometimes I even feel like I know what you are thinking and often I can feel you thinking about me. This is the only thing that makes life worth living for me. The tiny novellas that come from daily life, the beauty of the day and the pearls of wisdom that come of it. How often many people expect Love to right all of the wrongs of the world. Many people are simply in Love with being in Love. I guess is true for myself admittedly however, when Love arrives it is often not packaged in the way that people expect it to be. Love to me is something inside of me. It is a feeling of joy and anxiety and obsession and every emotion known to man so, I was discussing this with my friend last night. We were talking about whether it would be better to be initially attracted to someones esthetics and then dig deeper or to see Love in the beauty of someones soul as the out appearance is secondary. Of course I believe that to love someone for their soul is more important that loving a person for the package that they arrive in. There really is no denying that there has to be a certain physical attraction between two people however, if their soul is beautiful then this would show through sensually and esthetically for only those who could appreciate the authentic beauty of such a person Its easier for me to write. I suppose with rejection, most people cant take what I would want to tell them, but with the right person i should hope that i can let all out and have them appreciate and relish my feelings. I suppose these things are those which leave one uprotected. I want to be able to tell you i love you spontaneously, whenever i want, and see it and feel it and hear it in return. I need you because you will not hurt me for leaving myself unprotected, you will only love me more. One of my biggest problems with people is they're inability to cope with honesty and...love..I need someone who overflows with emotion and sensitivity. I need someone who wants to tell me how much i mean to them. and who doesnt need a stimulus, who will out of the blue, declare their love or whatever else they might want to tell me. and i need to be shown. i knew she loved me but thats not enough. im emotionally and soulfully needy. i need to hear that you love me on a constant basis. i need to be shown. i need to be grabbed and hugged and kissed and caressed and cherished and made love to and told how you cant live without me. Another thing that bugs me about people is their lack of commitment. if you say youre going to call...CALL!! dont put me through it otherwise. i dont need that kind of torment. call me without my expecting it. make my day. ill do the same for you. its true, im quite protective of my heart, i guard it,. im very sensitive. should the right person come along, they will be able to melt my walls and truly be amazed by the warmth and sweetness and love that im dying to give. How my body aches, my heart, for that person, who can be the receiver of all i have to give. you can only go so long holding all of this in for somebody. I woke up crying the other morning. i had a dream that i was dying. i would be dead in a few days. that scared me. youd think after that id have a new outlook, that i would be happy just to be alive, but no. that same night i fell asleep almost crying in my loneliness. my despair. my miserable depressed state. im one in a million so why is there no one? why am i alone? love is necessary, to me anyway. i need physical affection. how much right do i simply crave a hug, from someone, anyone, with some sympathy for me. i need human touch and ive been severely lacking. why isnt there someone lying next to me, holding me, destroying all my demons? i dont need to go out to enjoy myself. i dont need anything fancy to be entertained. id love to sit at home and watch movies. to sit, do nothing at all. lay in bed all day. slow dance in your living room. eat. cook. drink wine, which im still trying to acquire a taste for. i like to watch you sleep. I love to just stare at you. look in your eyes. we are comfortable in silence. and in laughter and crying. but we all need the physical too. tell me how much you want me. better yet, show me. tease me. torment me. enjoy my body. whatever you want.