Happily ever after is a phrase suggesting a state of perpetual joy and eternal safety---a complete satisfaction multiplied by the knowledge that this satisfaction can never be taken away. Your ego wants you to believe that lifelong infatuation with a very special romantic partner can compensate you for the eternal happiness and security when you dissociated your memory of who and what you really are. It can't.
If you want to overcome neediness, it helps to begin by reminding yourself that a sense of anxiety about finding love is a sure sign of ego identification. Only a deluded mind could imagine itself apart from love. When we are aware of our soul and spirit, we recognize that love is everywhere. At such times, the idea that we could lack anything essential to our happiness is seen as utterly ridiculous. When you look upon yourself from the fearful perspective of your ego, you certainly seem to have ample reason for anxiety and self-disgust. Your false self regards you as vulnerable, inadequate, isolated creature, threatened with immanent destruction at the whim of a meaningless and uncaring universe. When ego based fantasies are introduced into our spiritual life...they encourage us to wait around for the messiah, a a savior who is to someday magically deliver from our self-created misery without any effort on our parts. When these distorted salvation fantasies bleed through into the romantic arena, they generated a yearning for an all-powerful, all-good consort who is somehow supposed to guarantee our safety, validate our worth, and redeem our otherwise miserable and meaningless lives.
Could it be that you possible been unwittingly been searching not simply for a loving soulmate with whom to share your life's adventures, but for a godlike being whose love would make your existence tantamount to heaven on earth? After all, your friends and family love you, but you aren't crazy enough to think that their love would make you life happily ever after, are you? But If you're honest, you may have to admit that you are crazy enough to thing that your soulmate's affections is going to do just that.
People who understand that their salvation lies in the relationship of their true self to the universe are not likely to be seeking it through romance. The acid test of whether you've been searching for a savior rather than a soulmate is the depth of your despair over the loss of a love:
-if you were romantic rejection has ever damages your self-esteem, you must have been imagining that your lover was uniquely qualified to be your judge by virtue of some sort of divine omniscience.
-If you're ever felt frantic or engaged when threatened with the loss of a lover, you must have thought your ultimate security and well-being depended upon him or her.
-if you have entertained the thought that, having been rejected by this person, you would never find happiness
No comments:
Post a Comment