If you find yourself on one hand saying, "Why isn't anybody showing up for me to fall in love with? but on the other hand...you find that you've set up a life where you actually enjoy being alone, then obviously the love you think you desire isn't going to stumble across your path. The truth is that for one reason or another...you're actually creating the aloneness you need right now. The truth is that, if on any level, conscious or unconscious, you've decided you don't want to have a relationship right now, and you will be broadcasting that information and all your possible partners will hear it in one form or another.
I remember this one woman finally became honest with herself with me. She didn't have time for a relationship right now. She was committed to her career and not willing to borrow any time from her work to invest in a emotional exchange with another person. She spent years developing this career, and it's what most fulfilling to her right now...she can only handle a part-time relationship.
Many of us are afraid of moving into the void, which is the only conditions in which love can really come to us. It's so much easier to focus on the love we want to get, rather than on the love we can start giving. I remember a patient of mine who ask me...."Why didn't anybody love me? Why didn't my sister love me better?...Why didn't my husband love me?....Why hasn't anybody come along to love me now?....On her deathbed,,,she was still soaked with bitterness, unavailable to the love all around her and above her...to her own undelivered love.
What I learn is that you must give your love and instantly the love you need will start coming; toward you, in fact it will have already arrived. You will know you are truly living your life in the breathing, pulsating web of love when you can celebrate its every instance. So whatever small, beautiful moments are given to you----and they are given to you constantly, gratis, for absolutely no reason--whatever the thousand little miracles that sustain you through every moment of your life, take note of them; let them have an impact on you.
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