THOUGHTS: A MAN WHO DOESN'T TRUST HIMSELF CAN NEVER TRUST ANYONE ELSE

What is trust?....You know it when you feel it. Most people trusting people is risky, I believe...not trusting people is a greater risk.But the truth is the lack of self trust also undermines our ability to trust other. In the word of Cardinal de Retz," A man who doesn't trust himself can never trust anyone else." A person of integrity when there is no gap between intent and behavior...when she is whole, seamless, the same,,,inside and out. I call this congruence.

Behavior is the manifestation of motive and agenda. It's easy to say, " I care" and I want you to win", but it is our actual behavior that demonstrates whether or not we mean it. However there times when observable behavior that communicate one message is in reality, an act of duplicity or deceit. It's the "I care about you" show of an "I really could care less about you, but I want to project the image of caring". When we believe people truly are acting in our best interest, we tend to trust them. When we believe that they are not acting in our best interest, we do not trust them. It's that simple.

Fundamentally, intent is the matter of the heart. It's something you can't fake, at least not for long. But it is something you can definitely work on and improve. Some people genuinely have poor intent. Though they may not be aware of it or even admit it, deep inside they seek their own profit, position...or whatever above people, above principles, above everything else.

If we're really honest, we have to admit that sometimes our motives are not completely pure. Sometimes we approach situations with hidden agendas, even tiny ones--that keep us from being appropriately transparent with others. Sometimes we manifest behavior that don't demonstrate caring, openness, and concern. To whatever degree these challenges are part of our lives, we are being taxed.

It's human tendency to assume we have good--or at least justifiable-intent. At times, our intent genuinely is good, at other times, we rationalize (tell ourselves "rational lies") in order to justify our intent to ourselves and to others.

Declaring your intent and expressing your agenda can motives can be very powerful, particularly if your behavior is being misinterpreted. By declaring your intent...not only build trust, it also puts more accountability on to you. The main reason why declaring intent increase trust is that it signals your behavior---it let people know what to look for so that they can recognize, understand, and acknowledge it when they see it. Their response, then is much like what happens when someone buys a new car and then suddenly start noticing the same kind of car everywhere on the road. It's not that there are suddenly more of those cars on the road....it's that their awareness is enhanced.

I always tell people what I am looking for...SEX AND LOVE...yet most people don't listen. That is something that i can help.