LOVE/ THOUGHTS: STANDING UP FOR ALL MEN

Someone along the line, men's wants and needs have seemingly become irrelevant.It is as if we are supposed to fill those roles of protector and provider without complaint. Men's interests and needs are always at a backseat, if salient at all.  We're supposed to be happy being fem-serfs (although so many women incessantly seem to be happy at being unhappy) and not place our happiness first.   A man that does strive to carve is own path is somehow seen from anything to useless or a pariah.  He's a narcissistic jerk even if he's not intentionally harming someone else.   Shame and even vile contempt are often heaped upon men who break ranks and even question


 Most men---myself included---grew up with an idealized conception of what their mate was going to be like.  And had their hopes dashed and crushed again and again.    By leading men down the primrose path and not providing them with a grounded sense of realism and what women can be like is anything from naive to irresponsible.  There are quite a good percentage of them that are reproductive opportunists; even irrational self-interest in a woman is still self-interest.  Men who are practicing rational self-interested are often viewed as selfish misogynists; a woman doing the same is pragmatic and smart.


For the longest time, I pined for my own Kate Beckinsale, a woman who possessed a set of qualities so many women profess they generally have without feeling a need to demonstrate them very much.  Even those who are not starry-eyed dreamers will wax that if I don't believe in it somehow, it will never happen no matter what the odds.


Trouble is, I actually did believe I had a soulmate that would fulfill my desire for a deep companionship.  It took some doing, but after a time I awoke from that dream.  I cannot tell you enough how painful and even traumatic it was in the process---I made it on the other side, although I'm not entirely unscathed.


Even seeking the equivalent in a mate is exceedingly difficult as a realist; and as a man you are typically blamed if you don't attract the right women---even if you avoid the bad and walking damaged for a legitimate female cohort.


Men desire to be with women, and despite the fact women have a level of desire for men, the malignant maze that is erected in order to obtain affection could make one question why men have to "earn" something women just should receive bountifully because of their gender.  Men have been subjected to such misandry to view themselves as lesser than women, and that will be never be good enough for what Warren Farrell dubbed as the "genetic celebrity."   And Ameriskanks believe that they are that genetic celebrity by simple virtue of their vagina, even though very few will look remotely like Monica Bellucci when they are her age.


Not that I don't think about it time and again.  When I was a teen and a hopeless romantic, I found even then that one could cry to the heavens for love and receive nothing.   Now that I'm a doer more than a dreamer, the shine that our culture regards the feminine mystique has turned lackluster.


It's also been said that men don't just look for relationships just for sex.  Some do, but many are looking for that very love, respect, comfort, and admiration that just doesn't seem to be happening so much.   If you are a sensitive man and long to show yourself openly, flaws and all, expecting kindness and warmth in the arms of a woman is a mistake; you are going to eventually have a rude awakening.   Not to mention that a really sensitive man would be upset at continued mistreatment and the experience that he is not on par with the woman he is interacting with.  Most woman cannot possibly have this because she must have the upper hand no matter how she would be resentful of a man that isn't the leader.  Hence their cognitive dissonance concerning men; despite being attracted to alpha traits, they disapprove of men taking the lead because of feminism and perceived "inequality."  But a man that will acquiesce is a doormat, a pushover.  A dull beta male.


As a youth, there was a period where I found little solace in many things and would have given a welcome relief if a young woman had been even mildly supportive.  I let that go by the wayside even with a couple of serious relationships.   Despite what anyone has told you, woman despise "weakness" (i.e. kindness and empathy) in men because it would mean that they would have to see us as truly human beings rather than woman second class citizens.  Or worse.  One could argue it is an extension of an s own self-loathing; treating a man has fully human and a deep well would mean that perhaps her vain illusion of her own superiority (in a culture that constantly polishes her bloated ego) would shatter . . . and she would have to re-evaluate her own self-worth and deal with her inner anger.