LOVE LETTER

I imagined that we were both lay asleep in each others arms, I wake and see you there and feel your presence. I gently reach across while you are still sleeping and softly touch the hair on your arm as you lay on your side, stroking the soft down. My touch is almost imperceptible like a whisper of an angel’s wing. I move closer so I can feel your breath on my face, your even breathing is somewhat soothing to me as I feel the proximity almost too much to bear. I can feel the fine hair on our bodies touching I am acutely aware of the sensation that each hair is causing me, like small electric currents passing through me. I want to look at you for a while before you awake watch how your eyes flicker as some image passes through your mind. I want to ponder all the thoughts that might be stored there inside your head, wonder what is making you tick, how you feel.

I watch your lips move silently speaking to a ghost in your head and I feel an incredible urge to touch your lips with mine. Taste those words, see if by putting them onto my lips I will know what you said. I move closer, I wet my lips with my tongue, then I gently let my tongue pass over your lips tasting the smooth surface that is dry. Ever so softly my tongue traces the curve of your lips, I memorise the taste and sensation but do not feel my curiosity sated. I linger here swallowing your breath feeling like I exist because only on what you exhale, feeling a part of you. I let my fingers stroke your hair; luxuriate in the caress on my fingertips. My every sense feels heightened and my heart beat seems to be drumming a tattoo in my chest. I wonder why you can’t hear it. I can feel the blood pumping through my body causing almost a pain as it forces my awareness to the ache in me, the need to feel even closer to you.

I think you sense my intensity, for slowly your eyes open, quickly becoming re accustomed with your surroundings. I see the look in your eyes change as the memories come flooding back, we look deeply into each other and you smile, I see all that you feel there in the depths of your eyes, some confusion, some fear and something more. I feel your hand stroke my cheek; your thumb glides over my brow tracing the curve of my face. I nestle into your hand feeling feline and purring as the touch is soothing me, your thumb traces my lips and as it slides across the surface my tongue gently slips out and tastes it. A fire seems to have ignited in the back of your eyes; you gently place your lips where your thumb had been.

You kiss me, tentatively at first as if you’re reminding your lips of who I am and then.………Our tongues touch, I shudder at the sensation that ripples through my body, as yours explores the inside of my mouth. All the time your fingers are stroking my face and neck, learning me as if I am a book written in Braille. The kiss intensifies causing an almost primal reaction in us; my arms are wrapped around your back, stroking the smooth surface. One hand moves up around the back of your neck, holding your head against mine. Your two hands hold my face in yours as you move above me, conscious of your weight on my arm.

Our breathing is ragged, but you are slow, taking such exquisite pain in your exploration of me. I gasp as your kisses move to my neck and shoulders, I am extremely sensitive there and you smile knowingly like you have just been told a secret. You stay there licking and tasting my neck, I feel I am losing consciousness as the pleasure becomes more intense almost unbearable.

You lift my arms above my head and gently slide your fingers down the inside of my arms, while your mouth moves again to mine plundering the inside with your tongue. I feel dizzy, breathless; I can not focus on a single thought. All my awareness is concentrated on the pain that is such pleasure, on a need to have more but my consciousness cannot solidify an objective. I just want more of what it is I am feeling, of the sensations coursing through my body forcing me to jerk uncontrollably. To arch and writhe as if dancing to some mysterious beat.

Your mouth leaves mine and again begins a journey of kisses, that feel like multiple electric shocks, jarring every nerve into my consciousness.I am lying beneath you, and you are gently kissing a fiery path from my neck and shoulders down to my breasts. My arms are stretched above my head where you placed them my breathing is ragged and I can not hold a coherent thought in my head. I am only acutely aware of the sensations, your mouth upon my skin causes.

As your mouth reaches my breast you slide one arm down my body tentatively tracing the path your lips made, I can feel your warm breath whispering against my flesh. Goosebumps emerge as if called to attention and somewhere in the periphery of my mind there is knowledge, of each one. I want to rush you, push you into feasting hungrily and satisfying my craving with your gluttony of me, but I cannot move I have become paralysed with all that I am experiencing.

There is a place, I was not aware that it was there, it is right in the centre of me. I can see it clearly now, pulsing and throbbing while a million butterflies dance all around it. That’s where I want you to be; somehow I know that all my hunger will be satisfied when you reach that part of me. Your mouth is hungrier now; both of your hands stroke and knead my body as your mouth explores every inch. I can feel you against my leg, hot and hard and I try to will you inside of me, I want to scream for you to stop, but I can only whimper and moan. Nothing seems to work in co-ordination, I know that if I can somehow manoeuvre you inside of me all will be well and the pain will desist.

Of their own volition muscles jerk and spasm, it’s like my body of its own accord jumps to meet your touch, I have no control my body is traitorous, acting out of its own desire becoming a separate entity. Yet it knows what I need and seems to be luring you into colluding with it and satisfying those primal urges. Someone is moaning almost wailing, I glimpse consciousness and realise it was me as I am thrown into some vortex. Your mouth is drinking hungrily from me lapping at the nectar that oozes copiously, my hands are in your hair, pulling and pushing at you. My body want’s to escape but can’t get close enough to you. It’s like there is no more room in my body for all these feelings and emotions, I can feel myself ascend, climb from within and now I am stood on a precipice. Then I feel it, oh my god, I feel you enter me and that one thrust pushes me over the edge. I fall descend or ascend I am not sure of anything except all the emotions clamouring for release, all at the same time like an explosion of pure sensation. It feels like I will never find my way back from this place into which I have just fallen. Yet slowly my senses return and I find you looking at me. I am laughing, giggling and my face is wet with tears, you are still, within me waiting and watching and smiling………………………….

We lay still, my head rests on your shoulder our breathing is even now and there is an air of satisfied tiredness about us. Your eyes are closed. I wonder what you are thinking but I do not want to speak to ask, I feel too lazy, too content. My own thoughts relive every moment of the love we just made, questions pop up unbidden, irrational fears. Does the intense high of an orgasm mean that reality brings an unnatural low??? I want to know how you feel now; a part of me needs reassuring that it was as intense an experience for you. I push the doubts out of my mind, they were fears of yesterday, of a time when I was not so confident in whom I was. I remind myself that I am a beautiful sensual woman, that I am living in this moment and what comes, will be dealt with when it does.

I smile to myself, if he could hear my thoughts he would think I was strange, the question and answer sessions that happen in my head. I look at you again and find you watching me, a question mark in your eyes; I laugh and say that I was just reliving the passion. The question mark changes quickly and a spark alights your eyes, ah yes, I need have no fear, it definitely meant as much to you as it did me, for I can see it all in your eyes.

Oh what beautiful eyes.

My hand is resting on your stomach; I begin drawing lazy circles in the fine, dark, hair. I hear your intake of breath and I smile to myself. I wonder if you felt this powerful while drawing similar responses from me. I lean into you and allow my tongue to flick at the small nipple on this side of your chest, while continuing to stoke your stomach with my left hand. Your left arm is under me and your hand rests against the small of my back, urging me closer. My fingers continue drawing imperceptible swirls, moving now to your thighs, I know that if I touch you there you will be hard, I can sense the jerking arousal, so I am careful not to touch it yet.

I lean up on my right arm, the arm resting against my back, falls, to the bed. I begin kissing your neck, gentle pecks around your ear, I open my mouth and let my breath heat your neck then flick my tongue over the same area. You shudder. I nudge my leg between yours so that I am straddling your left leg. So I am able to manoeuvre myself above you to continue my journey, also the friction of your leg against me eases my own need a little, or heightens it, I am not sure, but I am concentrating on you.

I love the reactions my tongue is causing in you, I like the taste of you, I let my nails scratch gently down your sides as my tongue continues to taste your chest now. Your hips jerk, but I am determined to take my time and eke out every moment, as much as I would love to climb on top of you and have you buried deep within me. No, mustn’t let my thoughts wander down that path or I will be reminded of my own incessant throb that craves to be satisfied.

I slide a little down your leg, mmmm that felt good, my fingers are still stroking your torso and playing with the hair on your body, while my lips and mouth taste every inch. I let my tongue wetly flicker around your belly button, drawing lines from there to your pubic hair and back. I feel your hardness rub against my breast and I lean up a little to avoid the contact. Every now and then I let my nipples stroke you, while I carry on licking, sucking, kissing and touching you. I feel your hands on my shoulders; hear you groan as you try to push me lower. I move your arms so that they fall back onto the bed.

I position myself between your legs and push them apart, I kneel and look at you, while stroking your thighs. You open your eyes briefly and look at me, yours are glazed and pleading with me to continue. I stroke the inner part of your thighs still careful not to make contact, and then place my lips where my fingers were. You moan loudly now, saying my name, pleading with me to touch it. Not yet baby, I think, soon though. I gently stroke the sack that is swollen and hard and let my fingers gently travel the length of you, it is so beautiful, I use the fingers of both hands now, gently stroking all of you. I tentatively place my tongue at the tip and flick, you catch your breath as if somehow drawing breath might distract me. I am now licking you all over using saliva as a lubricant, holding you with both hands massaging your need.

It is an incredible feeling to watch you as I hold you in my hands, to know that I am responsible for the reactions in you that I am witness too. I am seeing you vulnerable, exposed to me and I have created this need in you. I am aware that I have never felt more feminine, more powerful, more beautiful, than I do right at this moment and a feeling of such tremendous emotion consumes me. I slide my mouth over you swallowing your length letting my tongue circle as I taste your essence. My mouth continues the movements that my hands started, moving faster to match the need in you, faster and faster my lips glide up and down holding you firmly in their grasp.

I can sense every muscle in you tighten, I can hear your moans and my name being called and I know that you are ascending to that place, that you are conscious of nothing but that aching need for release. I am still stroking you with my fingers as my mouth gorges to match the rhythm of your urgent plunges. At the same time as I hear your cry and become aware of your whole body quivering, my mouth is filled with all that is you and I drink greedily until I feel your body slowly relax.

I become aware of your hands knotted in my damp hair and feel the pressure of them lifting my face, pulling me back up your body so that you can kiss me. Slowly, tenderly you kiss me now all the time looking into my eyes, if I had doubted before the way you were feeling, then those doubts are now banished from my mind.

I close my eyes and imagine that I am lay in your arms and we fall into a light sleep. Contented smiles on our faces from the passion just experienced. I don’t know how much time has elapsed, in my mind it feels like time has stopped, there is nothing that I feel any urgency to move for. I am somewhere drifting from slumber to consciousness, I feel calm and relaxed and at peace, my head rests on your shoulder and your arm is around me. For the first time in a long time I have a sense of feeling protected, safe, I had not been aware of feeling a need for this, yet I like it and want to wrap it around me. Perhaps I have allowed myself no room for vulnerability; maybe in my independence and the striving for that, I have refused to acknowledge a need for it.

I slowly open my eyes and find myself looking into yours, as I gaze at you a surge of almost overwhelming feeling washes over me, it starts in my stomach and moves up into my chest, throat until I feel tears spring into my eyes. I look into myself for a moment to try and diagnose the cause, so many different feelings all clamour at once, the strongest being such an incredible feeling of tenderness. I want to hold your face in my hands, touch your mouth with mine breathe into you all these feelings as words cannot portray them with enough clarity. Somehow that won’t be enough, a realisation occurs as the tears fall onto your shoulder and no words are yet uttered, I know what this is. As your finger reaches out to catch a tear and you place that tear on your tongue, while all the time looking deep within me, I am cognisant of the fact that you do too. We have not yet spoken, nor indeed moved yet in the last few minutes so much has happened between us, the world just shifted and from this moment on nothing will be the same again.