LOVE LETTER: THOSE MEMORIES

I can dream and lust, and sometimes feed that lust with fantasies of you naked and writhing under my touch. I can also cherish my memories of the days I shared with you. I take out those memories at odd times and fondle them lovingly. As is the way of such things, thoughts of what was become mixed with dreams of what might have been, and I lose myself in them. When I come back to the present I find myself smiling and pleasantly aroused.

I remember your hands - gentle, petite and beautifully shaped - and the shape of your mouth when it forms that mysterious slight smile that I think of as your trademark. I had to find a way to kiss you. I would never have forgiven myself if I did not, even for just an instant. My mouth closed over both of your lips, and I was about to explode from passion. All my being was focused on your body pressing lightly against mine, my lips gently tugging at your upper lip as I kissed you.

How long did that kiss last? Did you kiss me back? I don't know; you didn't push me away. Did the light caress of your hands on my back mean you wanted me also? Did I feel your fingertips trace a pattern down my back, signalling active enjoyment and participation? Did I feel your tongue touch mine for one electric moment, kissing me back? Did I hear you surrender to the moment by answering my moan with your own softer, gentler, sexy sound? I don't know, because I had no thoughts, just intense feelings.

And then the moment was over. You broke off the kiss and touched my cheek softly with the palm of your hand. That indefinable, but unforgettable slight smile was once again on your face.

It wasn't just your appearance though; you have such a lovely, graceful way about you. You seduce with your eyes, and that slight smile; the things you say and the way you say them; your mannerisms. Do you realize you flirt with your hands? While having a conversation, there will be a touch on my elbow, a hand on my knee.

Yes, I was in love with you. Didn't you know it? Couldn't you see it? Flirting is one thing, my darling, but we talked about sex, and shared intimate details. I welcomed the opportunity to be playful with you, never losing my head or my balance. But oh, the feelings inside me - I don't know how to describe them. I'll just say 'intense, terrifying and terrific', all at once.

One time I had been lying on the bed .... I was so near that I could see your heart beating underneath your thin sweater. Your chest moved, and I could clearly see the outline of your breasts. I stared, yes, and imagined reaching out to cup them in my hands. I imagined pushing my hands underneath your sweater and loosening your bra. I had imagined this so many times before, and that night I wished for it again, but with extra urgency.

Seeing your eyes was like seeing a glimpse of paradise. Being so close that I could smell you mixed with your fragrance. Hearing you laugh heartily at one of my jokes was like heaven. What would you be like in bed? Your passion, plus your mischievousness and adventurousness makes me think making love with you would be incredible. Are you vocal? I think you would be. I imagined your voice begging me to fuck you harder, panting out my name as I made you come, proclaiming breathlessly how sexy I make you feel.

Then again, you are so intense and sensitive, I'm sure you know how to make love for hours, by touch and kisses only. How many men have you been with, I wonder? More than ten? It must be. Twenty? Does that make you seem promiscuous? No - just full of passion and life.

These memories have a way of becoming mixed up with the fantasies in my head. I have no trouble telling them apart, but I love to stir them together anyway. Eventually I drift off to sleep................