LOVE LETTER: LOST IN THE ABYSS OF ANONYMITY

Unseen by you, I shed a drop of tear each day, A tear of love, a tear of affection, a tear recollecting those sweet old days. 

Unheard by you, I heave a deep sigh each minute, A sigh of hope, a sigh of wish fulfillment, a sigh of what could have happened.... but is presently beyond imagination.

Unknown to you, I utter a thousand words through my silence, Words of passion, words of compassion, words arising out of pain and delight.

Unfelt by you, I touched you a million times, A tender touch of consolance, a warm hug of encouragement, or... simply holding your hand for assurance.

Unseen, unheard, unfelt by you, I live a life of ' Oblivion ' And lost in the abyss of anonymity I spend the rest of my life.



Early evening last night I was in tears, didn't know why but I couldn't stop crying. Then I felt sick, I knew something was wrong, especially since the symptoms kept getting worse. I thought maybe I was getting the flu, maybe my tears were just out of frustration because the last thing I need right now is to be sick,. But it just kept getting worse, I felt like I needed to throw up all night. The pain was from my head to feet and there was this feeling in my chest I can't even describe.

The tears came on stronger as each hour passed. The pain in my heart was unbearable, there were many moments I felt like I couldn't breathe. I was losing a battle, but didn't know from what. By the end of last night I was curled up in a ball in bed and the tears just kept coming, and they never stopped. But at one point thoughts of someone started coming on even stronger than the tears. I was thinking of everything I know about this person, everything I still want to know, everything I love about this person, and everything we've already been through even though it was only for a few month. Every thought was of this person. And then more tears came........

Because... because.... (just say it) ...... I love her!!!!! ........

And I haven't let myself feel how wonderful that is until last night. The heart couldn't hide the truth anymore, and this time all of me gave in. I was so scared of it ending even before it began that I wasn't honest with myself about how much this woman means to me until her phone call last Wednesday,

She isn't perfect, no one is, but she's a good woman. A woman who I believe loves me just the way I am and reminds me of that daily. A woman who sees nothing in me he wants to change, she just wants me. A woman who doesn't pretend to know how to fix me and doesn't try to. A woman who knows that on my bad days the only thing she might be able to do is just hold me. A woman who calls me "baby" and I melt.
My heart is yours.....

Do you remember the time we spend hours talking to each other and shared our little big moments of happiness and despair?...now why don't you do so?...remember there was a time when we craved to be with each other and you went out of the way to be with me, that made me so happy?...why don't you feel the same way now?...there were times when we would stay awake up talking, coz we missed each other so much,...now why don't you miss me even if we don't talk the whole day?...have you forgotten those days when you woke me early morning with your voice so full of sorrow and I was there listening and talking to you till I heard you smile again...what happened to your saying time and again you miss me so much and my heart ached to be with you?... now, why avoid me when I can't stop missing you and burst into tears,unable to speak ...before you used to console me,lend a shoulder to cry,now why do you ignore the tears when you do see it in my eyes?.....perhaps I'm not your photocopy anymore,but I know you to the core...perhaps you understand I care but ignore it all...