LOVE: I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE ANYMORE/ IT ALL ABOUT TRUST

I thought I have found "THE ONE" my true love, the equivalent of me,a couple of time in my life, but it was only a mirage, I could see it, smell it, and feel it but it wasn't there. It dissapeared, without a trace. I have prayed to God over & over again, and wondered if I was asking for too much, all I want is to have someone to love, and freely love them, and feel safe knowing that they would never go no where, someone who would love me back with just as much passion. Someone who can taste me and breathe me into their very existence and feel that without me there is no her. Someone who will make me feel like my dream has finally come true, like God was really listening to me. My heart aches, my body aches, my soul aches, my mind aches, because all I want is true love with my soul mate, my perfect match, the one God made especially for me, and I have not found her, nothing but a few false alarms. I want to walk down the street with my woman,! and have everyone stare at us, and wish they had what we had, and we know how lucky we are. I want someone to appreciate me for everything I am, good & bad, just like I will appreciate her for everything that makes her- her- good & bad. I want to feel her naked body next to mine as we sleep at night, breathing her in, her holding me with hunger as we fall asleep together. l want to be able to make love to her mind, to her body, to her soul, one connected, in a rythym with God with the universe, and feel like we are in heaven. I have always said that God made "adam" then he made "eve" for "adam" because he was alone ( he made her especially for him) that's what I want, someone especially for me, that it hurts when we are not together, that she need me as much as I need her. That we be happy that we finally met each other, and we no longer have to look hope or wait. Someone who could love me with as much passion, with as much intensity. The world becomes a scary place when you ! feel you are the only one of your knid, that you are the only person that can understand the depth of the love you can hold inside you & give away, and all you want is for someone to have as much love in their hearts for you, that nothing can come between you. I live in this world of love, and I don't want to be there alone. I need to be loved, nurtured, spoiled, cared for, kissed, hugged, missed, laughed with, played with, talked with, challenged with, be passionate with, loved with, learned with, I want to be his everything and I want someone to be my everything. I want to share my world, my love, my life, my thoughts with someone. I always get what I want, work, good friends, goals come easy to accomplish to me, good family. God gave me luck in always finding a good job, he gave me the best friend I could ask for, He gave me a good mother, he gave me a kind heart, but the one thing He hasn't blessed me with is luck with Love. I know God loves me, He must love me, but I always ask m! yself why not me, why not now.


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I know the type of relationship i want. Trust stems from keeping our word. If we say we will be there for the other person, then we should be there. It comes from being dependable, from being open and honest and not hiding things. Trusting another person, earning and holding the trust of another, is basic to any interpersonal relationship, because without trust there is only doubt and other associated negative thoughts and feelings. Most woman trust issuse is based on an event from the past. Their past. I have been lied to and cheated in the past just as often as anyone else. I lay my soul bear on my website in my poem...in my blog. There a underlining feeling from all my word>>If you want my trust, you're going to have to prove yourself. How does one prove herself? What actions are necessary, and who handed the job called judge? Trust is black or white in my opininon. At any given moment, you're either in or out of the revolving doors trust. Trust is about risk. "I don't know" is another way of expressing that you're unwilling to take a risk. Why be bashful about your intentions? Bravely say instead, "I'm not up for the risk of trusting." By doing so, you may be forced to answer the next question, "Why not?"

Trust is about risk, more than it's about time.Trust is also a choice. Moment-to-moment, you get to choose whether or not you'd like to walk in or out of its circular doors. Trust is foundational because it creates a safe environment for intimacy to grow. Trust allows you to reveal who you really are. I tried you in showing myself ...all of myself. I realize most people haven't really trust me competely.When you doubt the truth of everything that I write, you end up feeling crazy. It scary most people that I am so open. I trust people totally and because of that I have let down my guard and say, "I feel comfortable with you. I want to be sexual, to reveal my inner self, to be vulnerable, and to offer my unconditional love." I was taking a leap of faith. I don't know the outcome. When you decide to trust someone you open yourself up to joy — and to potential danger. Ultimately, trust requires you to move toward love and away from fear. You choose to stop being afraid of the consequences of trusting someone and to start connecting deeply with that person instead.

I can see why most people are afraid...I have been there. Because as soon as you let down your guard, you allow another person to gain control over your life. If you have sex with someone you give them the power to hurt you as well as to give you pleasure. They may infect you with a sexually transmitted disease, withhold their body, refuse to indulge in your sexual fantasies, or betray you. If you let them know exactly how much money you have, they may pressure you to share it with them. If you expose your emotional vulnerabilities, they may ridicule them, or put you down. Or if you share your fears with them, they may use this information to manipulate you. To give away control to someone else is an act of courage.Trusting in others is a measure of trust in yourself. If you don't trust yourself, you'll have trouble believing in others.
To have the relationship that i wrote about in my website. Two people who trust each other. They tell each other what they will and won't put up with. Each will be inclined to respect the other's limits, not because they fear the repercussions of violation but because they are bonded by mutual respect. If they put their feelings into words they would say to each other, "You are very precious to me. I want my next relationship to last. I will do my best to be worthy of the next partner to trust so they can be relaxed and confident with me." Or, as good friend of mine said to me recently, "Trust me that I will never deliberately do anything that would hurt you, be unloving, or be disrespectful." I would never deliberately do anything that would hurt you , be unloving to you.