Why do woman get involved with loser and waste time and emotions with the wrong men instead of being with a man who give them love, a house,...kid...everything they want and make their life easy.
Why are these women so STUPID? Just because they have these urges, why does that justify acting on them? I'd love to eat pizza and fried chicken every day. I'd also like to eat cookies, cake, and ice cream 3 times a day. Why don't I do it? It will lead to bad long term consequences. What the hell is wrong with these women?
If you are a woman get involved with a bad guy, single dad...ect......there will be bad consequences.
As far as I can tell, chicks don't date ugly boys either. Ugly may have different meanings for men and women, but the results are still the same.A hot homeless bum living in trash ain't getting some.
Regarding women who like bad boys, one could argue that they do so because they think they can change them. But they can't.
Okay, think about that for just two seconds,. When you like something, it's because it is what it is the way it is, yes? For instance: you like chocolate cake because it is chocolate cake. You don't think to yourself, "Yeah I like this chocolate cake because, if I try really, really hard, I can make it into banana cream pie. Mmmhm. I like me some chocolate cake so I can have that pie."
Women, and especially younger women, tend to like or enjoy "bad boys" because of the "lawless" quality someone else pointed out. Some young women can live out their rebellion streak vicariously through these guys who are "edgy" and flaunt authority. They tend to be, yeah, self-confident, and that's pretty darned attractive too. They push the boundaries of regular, vanilla, quiet social acceptability and conformity and, yeah, that can be appealing too to to go along on that ride with someone.
An attraction to "bad boys" does not equal a propensity for abuse. It's, a lot of the time, just an opportunity to explore one's own sense of wanting to explore the boundaries of society and finding someone to take you there. It's about rebellion.
And eventually, they all grow out of that, find the value in a certain amount of conformity that most can live with,
This stupid thing called "love". It's more destructive than the entire US military arsenal. It amazes me when a girl can complain for days on end and call the person they're with the worst things in the world yet will stay with them because they "love him". I've actually asked a girl why they were with a guy and they said they loved the guy but i asked "what do you love about him?" and they said "he's just a great guy!" after they had gone on for hours about how awful of a human being the person is. It's pathetic.
Romance is a drug that prevents women from having to deal with the tougher issues in their life, like aging, finances, significant stress, problems with their children, and many other things. Stability, companionship, creation of a home and family if that's what you desire, and some sense of a safe place to come home to and deal with the cares of the world. Stupid behavior is how I describe irrational behavior that throws caution to the wind and causes women to hook up with men who are unsuitable or dangerous. The warning signs are there but they let their romantic feelings override. The motives are wrong – they're looking for someone to give them the castle or, if they're very wounded and have had very bad experiences, someone who's going to heal those wounds. So they go into a relationship with an unrealistic expectation of what marriage or a long-term relationship is going to be.We've been taught that somehow the power of our love can change a man, and that the sexier and more beautiful we are, the more powerful we are. Women often confuse sexual power with personal power, confusing the difference between being able to arouse a man with feminine power. But then she doesn't know how to keep him because his interest will wane once the hunt is over. She's gotten her romantic fix during that time, but when he leaves her high and dry once the sexual excitement wears off, she's left confused and lonely and questioning herself even more.
Summarizing a recent conversation with my medical assistant about this very issue:
She said that it's comforting to know that if a situation were to arise where we were in danger, that I could be trusted to do everything in my power to ensure the safety of not just myself, but her as well, and that she would not be alone in fighting for a solution.
To often we think of a "bad boy" as someone with a criminal record, scars from knife/gun fights, a foul mouth, rebellious attitude, and a bunch of tattoos. While these things can communicate a degree of safety and protection, they do so at such an extreme, that it is likely to be too extreme, and often backfires, which can result in unhealthy relationships and behavior that jeopardizes anyone involved with them.
A person doesn't need to have a partner who is dangerous and rebellious in order to feel secure; it is quite possible, and highly advisable, to find someone who will fulfill this desire in a mature, wise, and selfless manner.
I found this article that might be of interesting:
Father/Daughter Relationships: Effects of Communicative Adaptabilityand Satisfaction on Daughter's Romantic Relationships Jessica Katorski
ABSTRACT Research has shown that the relationship a daughter has with her father remains with her intoadulthood. The father/daughter relationship is said to have an affect on future relationships, including romantic relationships. One hundred and eight-one females from the La Crosse, WIarea completed questionnaires regarding the relationship with their father as well as the relationship with their current (or most recent) romantic partner. The females were asked to determine what attachment style best describes each relationship, assess their satisfaction level concerning the relationship with their father, and asked questions regarding their communication adaptability level. Results showed that relationships could only be made between the attachmentstyles in the father/daughter relationships and the communication satisfaction and adaptability.
INTRODUCTION A great deal of research has been conducted to find the effects of family during one’s childhood. Researchers have found that parent-child relationships affect the psychological well being of the child. Barnett and Kibria stated that positive parent-child relationships are thought to enhance several aspects of psychological well being while negative relationships are thought to predispose to psychological distress. Due to such findings, one might suggestthat the impact of the family environment on young adults is significant as well (Kissee, Murphy, Bonner, & Murley, 2000). Dumlao and Botta (2000) and Perkins (2001) state that the relationship between young adultwomen and their fathers has previously been neglected when examining the relationships within a family. Familyinfluences within the young adult cycle of life have gone virtually unstudied (Kissee, Murphy, Bonner, & Murley, 2000; Lamb, 1981; Way & Gillman, 2000). Many are convinced that the relationship between mothers and daughters is the most important parentalrelationship. While the relationship is certainly valuable, the connection that a female has with her father in manyways matters more than the one with her mother (Nielsen, 2001). Due to this, research on the affects of a young-adult daughter's relationship with her father is of value. Therefore, research was conducted on young adult women determining if or what was the relationship between father/daughter relationships and the daughter's romanticrelationships. Each young woman completed surveys regarding attachment style in the relationship with her father, her satisfaction level regarding the relationship with her father, and her communicative adaptability.
In a strong statement by Secunda (1992), she described a female's father as her "first love," regardless of the experiences in her relationship with her father. This text noted that it might be assumed that the father-daughter relationship has the potential to shape interaction patterns that surface as women enter adult relationships. Therefore, this supports the hypothesis that a pattern may be apparent between father-daughter relationships and the daughter's romantic relationships. Research has found that women with abusive or absent fathers often choose partners who abuse or abandon them (Secunda, 1992). Research concerning intermediate variables as adjusting factors proves interesting. According to Beatty and Dobos (1992) satisfaction may be described as an internal affect resulting from the acquisition of pleasure and/or avoidance of pain. More specifically, any stimulus that fulfills needs, produces positive reinforcement, or confirms one’s ideal self-image produces satisfaction (Beatty & Dobos, 1992). Previous findings from Vangelisti, Crumley, Baker, & Canary (1999) have supported the interdependence theory, which states that relational satisfaction is linked to the degree to which one’s standards are met. Satisfaction has also beenused as the primary criterion for evaluating the quality of family communication (Pearson, 1989). Some research has focused on the satisfaction in conversation with others viewing satisfaction as a global response to relationships. Due to various types of interaction with one's father, satisfaction was operationalized in global terms for this study.
Attachment is an overall term that refers to the state and quality of an individual's attachments. These attachments are divided into two distinct different types, secure and insecure attachment. Attachments are part of relationships from infancy. The emotional bonds that infants form with their caregivers serve as blueprints for the way people view themselves and others. They affect the way people act in their adult relationships. (Bowlby,1969;1973) Specifically regarding attachment in relationships, Bowlby stated that attachment relationships were importantfor humans across the life cycle and that attachment behaviors depicted interaction "from cradle to the grave." (Bowlby, 1979, p129). Once working attachment models are formed early in life, they are used as a guide for the child's attachment behavior both in familiar and new situations (Cassidy & Kobak, 198 . Research has been conducted and supported the hypothesis that one's early attachment styles serve as a prototype for later relationships outside the family (Crowell & Feldman, 1987; Main & Goldwyn, 198. Due to these findings, using attachmentstyles as the comparison between family and romantic relationships serves as dependable. As previously stated, communication is the core of every relationship. Generally, individuals desire to express a positive nature through communication. In order to do so, one must be able to adapt to situations accordingly.
Communicative adaptability, the ability to adjust in social settings, can also be defined as the capacity of the individual to adjust him/herself to the situation with minimum friction (Karlsson, 1963). Beatty, Marshall, & Rudd (2001) state that communicative adaptability involves the use of wit and emotional reactivity as well as emphasizes individual differences in the capacity to adapt to immediate surroundings. A number of scholars have researched this area, only with slight variations to the research. There are subtle differences in the theory constructs, yet they all share the recognition that the degree to which individuals adjust insocial settings is unevenly distributed across the population. Since communication is inevitable, individualsexperience various social settings, and the variance in communicative adaptability is considerable, it would be ofinterest to discover if there is relationship between attachment styles in relationships and an individual's level of communicative adaptability. In order to build upon completed research, the objective is to address the following questions:RQ1: Is there a relationship between a daughter's attachment style with her father and the attachment style with her current (or most recent) romantic partner?RQ2: Is there a relationship between the daughter's attachment style with her romantic partner and her satisfaction level regarding her relationship with her father?RQ3: Is there a relationship between the daughter's attachment style with her father and her satisfaction level regarding her relationship with her father?RQ4: Is there a relationship between the daughter's attachment styles with her father and her level of communication adaptability?RQ5: Is there a relationship between the daughter’s attachment style with her romantic partner and her level of communication adaptability?
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Katorski UW-L Journal of Undergraduate Research VI (2003) as they had previously for the relationship with their father. This included completing the 5-point Likert scale along with choosing one style that best represents the romantic relationship. SubjectsFemales above the age of 18 were the subjects of this research. Due to the separation from close parentalguidance, women this age are appropriate subjects for this study. One hundred and eighty-one women completelyresponded the previously mentioned questionnaires. Procedures This data was collected by a convenience sample. Majority of the women is students in the La Crosse area. Surveys were distributed throughout a few residence halls, a couple classrooms, and a campus organizationalmeeting. The researcher immediately collected the surveys upon completion by the subject. Data AnalysisDue to the number of variables involved in this study, several tests were completed in order to best analyze the data. Chi Square was run comparing the attachment styles of the relationship with the father to the attachmentstyles of the relationship with the partner. ANOVA was used to compare the attachment styles with the communication satisfaction and communication adaptability. SPSS will be the mode of determining results. The intermediate variables will be compared one another, then examined regarding style of relationships for each individual.
RESULTS Upon computing the results of the questionnaires received, fascinating answers were found for the proposed research questions. The following is an explanation of the findings in relation to each of the five specific research questions. RQ1: Is there a relationship between a daughter's attachment style with her father and the attachment style withher current (or most recent) romantic partner?The data from each of the participants was entered and a cross-tabulation was conducted. Each of the four attachment styles in the relationship with the father was cross-tabulated with the four attachment styles in the relationship with the romantic partner. The Pearson Chi-Square test showed a significance level of .53, which is notstatistically significant. Therefore, this shows that one cannot assume any relationship between the attachment style with the father and the attachment style with the romantic partner. The results show that one cannot determine anysort of relationship outside of a chance relationship. RQ2: Is there a relationship between the daughter's attachment style with her romantic partner and the satisfaction level regarding her relationship with her father?From the results computed through an ANOVA test, one cannot confirm that there is a relationship between a daughter's satisfaction level with relationship with her father and her attachment style in her romantic relationship. None of the results showed statistical significance between any of the levels. RQ3: Is there a relationship between the daughter's attachment style with her father and the satisfaction levelregarding her relationship with her father?The level of satisfaction regarding the relationship with her father is much higher when the attachment style is secure. The mean for the satisfaction is 6.2705 with a secure attachment style. This mean drops to 4.9643 with a preoccupied attachment style. Next, the mean is 4.2704 for the dismissing attachment style and 4.2118 for the fearful attachment style. Due to these results, one could make a connection between the secure attachment style and a high level of communication satisfaction. RQ4: Is there a relationship between the daughter's attachment style with her father and her level of communication adaptability?Although there is not a drastic difference in the levels of communication adaptability, those individuals with a fearful attachment style displayed the highest level of communication adaptability with a mean of 3.8725. The preoccupied and secure attachment styles were 3.8357 and 3.8011 respectively. Lastly, those individuals with the 3
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Katorski UW-L Journal of Undergraduate Research VI (2003) dismissing attachment style had a mean of 3.6202. Those who have a fearful attachment style do have a higher tendency toward communication adaptability, however a strong relationship would be hard to support. RQ5: Is there a relationship between the daughter's level of communication adaptability and the attachment style with her romantic partner?A different result was found when comparing the attachment styles of the romantic relationship with the communication adaptability. Those individuals with a secure attachment style with their romantic partner had a mean of 3.82. The mean scores continued to lessen with preoccupied at 3.7619, fearful at 3.7263, and dismissing at3.6745. Again, one may be able to speculate; however, it may be difficult to make a strong relationship between the two.
DISCUSSION AND CONCLUSIONS As previously stated some of the results showed a relationship, while others did not do so. This causes more analyzing to occur in order to gain a greater understanding of the relationships between the variables. When comparing the communication satisfaction level with the attachment styles of the father relationship andthe communication satisfaction level with the attachment styles of the romantic relationship, one finds very differentresults. There is complete statistical significance between the communication satisfaction and the attachment styles with the father. The ANOVA shows that the number for statistical significance is .000, whereas there is notstatistical significance between communication satisfaction and the attachment styles with the romantic partner. That score of significance is .145. Although it is not very high, there is no way of making a connection. This is the same situation for communication adaptability. There is statistical significance for the score of communicationadaptability at .024. The communication adaptability and attachment with partner score is .208. These are not quite the results expected; however, they do prove to be interesting. The relationship a daughter has with her father is one that greatly affects her life. This relationship began atchildhood, and has continued into adulthood. Regardless if the relationship is healthy or not, it still has some sort of affect on the daughter. When comparing it to the relationship with a romantic partner, one is looking at a much different relationship. This consistency continued throughout the results. Statistical significance was present when addressing the relationship between the father and daughter, yet never present between the daughter and her partner. U
Using multiple comparisons allows one to examine the specific attachment styles to the level of communicationsatisfaction. The secure attachment style shows statistical significance in regards to communication satisfactionwhen compared with each of the other attachment styles. For each of these match-ups, the statistical significance is .000. None of the other combinations displays statistical significance in regards to communication satisfaction. Continuing with the relationship with the father but looking at the communication adaptability level displays slightly different results. There is statistical significance when comparing the secure attachment style and the dismissing attachment style in regards to communication adaptability. Statistical significance is present whencomparing dismissing and fearful as well. This is fascinating because the only one not showing statistical significance when compared is the preoccupied attachment style. The preoccupied attachment style can be described as, "I want to be completely emotionally intimate with others, but I often find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I am uncomfortable being without close relationships, but I sometimes worry that others don't value me as much as I value them," (Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991). When one is a part of a preoccupied type of relationship, she desires to be very emotionally intimate. This would cause her to feel hurt more easily possible take each comment or conversation to heart. Therefore, responding with a witty comment or joke would not be in the nature of this individual. The mean score for those individuals with a preoccupied attachment style is 5.7190, which is relatively high. One could any speculate as to why that score is high. Speculations could lead to the belief that only certain aspects of the relationship cause dissatisfaction. A point of interest regarding the dismissing attachment style in the relationship with the romantic partner is the placement of the mean scores for that style. The level of communication satisfaction concerning the dismissing style is the highest of the four; however, the level of adaptability is the lowest. This could be because these females desire independent relationships, therefore feeling satisfied rather easily. Due to the desire for an independentrelationship, she is able to state her feelings in a more aggressive manner.
Wit, humor, and ease of conversation would not be a high priority when one does not desire any intimacy in that relationship. Another hypothesis could include the fact that the female is used to a high level of satisfaction in her relationship with males. If her romantic partner does not live up to her expectations, than she would rather remain completely independent from him, seeing no need to adapt to situations smoothly. . The research does not allow one to conclude that there is a relationship 4
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Katorski UW-L Journal of Undergraduate Research VI (2003) between the attachment styles in father/daughter relationships to those in romantic relationships. However, there isstatistical significance (.000) to show that there is a relationship between the attachment styles in the father/daughter relationship and daughter's communication satisfaction. There is also statistical significance (.024) to reveal a relationship between the attachment styles in the father/daughter relationship and the daughter's communication adaptability. One disappointing finding is that there is no statistical significance with the daughter's romantic relationship related to any variable. This is slightly shocking due to past research and literature that supports the importance of the father/daughter relationship and its effects on the daughter's life in the future.
There's a theory that we always seek to "make it right." So (very simply put) if you had a parent that largely ignored you -- -- you'll tend to choose partners that ingnore you or are unavailable to you so this time in this relationship you can "fix" what was wrong. I cannot tell you how long I played the game "ignore me more and I'll try harder." It's painful and embarrasing to even think about.
It's easy to follow the patterns that you've been following since childhood. Even if they're not very satisfying, they ARE familiar. Most humans basically fear change and the unknown and have to be dragged, kicking and screaming, to embrace something new...even if what's new is going to be better for them. Changing your habits -- even if you are changing them for the better -- is freakin' hard. It takes constant awareness, it takes a firm commitment to bettering yourself, it takes learning new skills, and it takes ACTION. You can analyze yourself to death, but if you don't change your behavior nothing's gonna change.
PART 2
If women want men to marry, maybe a little more work needs to be done to understand men and to think about what men feel and what men need and what motivates men to take on the awesome responsibility of marriage and parenting in a world that doesn’t like them very much.
I was having a conversation recently with a Christian woman and trying to explain the sexual needs of men and she was explaining why she had no obligation to care much about men’s needs if she didn’t feel like it, (because whatever happened to her in life had to make her feel good, otherwise she didn’t feel that she should be obligated to do it). I raised the point about how men have to get up and go to work whether they feel like it or not. Men have to deal with her family whether he feels like it or not. Men have to be dragged off to shopping or artsy stuff whether he feels like it or not. Her response was to say “that’s different”. I think men are horrified at the way that women treat us as objects. And don’t mean just as sperm-donors and wallters (for paying taxes for universal health care, IVF and contraceptives), I mean by being incapable of understanding what men want – what incentives they respond to and what a woman has to do to get them to engage and take on tasks.
It’s like women want the freedom to sleep with bad men, and yet be supported by the good men through taxpayer dollars without having to care about the needs of those good men. Sort of turning good men into ATMs and bad men into sperm donors – all with the goal of squeezing life dry by using people and trying to do as little as possible for anyone else. I think that’s what abortion and divorce are – a resenting of RELATIONSHIPS. A rejection of the idea that a woman should have any duties or obligations to anyone else at all.
It reminds me of atheism, where people reject God because they just can’t be bothered with the demands of a relationship but instead reduce Christianity to being happy and being forgiven what whatever selfish things they do. I think that’s what’s behind the drive to turn Christianity into “having happy feelings”. It plays very well with women, but men are suspicious of it, because they sympathize with God and they wonder – what about God’s needs? what about God’s feelings? who is thinking about his interests in this relationship? Christianity is about serving God, not keeping score to make sure that he gives you more than you give him. Sometimes I think that all of this opposition to evidence of God’s existence and character is really just a way of keping him cloudy, indistinct and at a distance. We do this so that we can use him to “forgive” us and to feel significance and love, but only when we feel like it. We avoid the evidence so that it is not really clear what our obligations are. Christians seem to be making God out in their image, and substituting their goals for his goals, without really caring what he thinks about it. And I think I see something similar happening between women and men. No one understands us, and they don’t want to, so long as they get what they want from us.
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