PERSONAL/LETTER: LOVE INCLUDES SO MANY THINGS

Dear love,

This love I have for you – it’s hard to describe, yet easy to feel. It’s difficult to convey save for the actions of every day life. I don’t know how to tell you that I love you without making you uncomfortable or scaring you away. I suppose saying it isn’t really necessary, since giving the condition a name doesn’t change its qualities…however, I can’t help but feel there’s something to say about the inability to say it at all. I understand that receiving love, and loving someone in return, is terrifying. You’re not the sort to make yourself vulnerable and neither am I. Love makes you weak in a way, I guess you could say…but more importantly, it makes you strong. This is just one of the reasons that I love love, and love loving you in particular.

You seem to want a definition…yet I don’t have one. I will never have one. Love, at least to me, includes so many things that I don’t even know where or how to begin. Yet if you can’t just trust that you love someone – that you think of them more fondly than others in a peculiar way; admire them for the things that make them who they are and respect them for these very same attributes – then maybe you will never be able to love. Love is and will always be a leap of faith. Just like in life, there is no sure thing in love. You just have to trust. There is no answer – you just know. Yet there’s no way to ‘know’, especially if you pick it apart. Eventually love will be destroyed by all the prodding, analyzing and dissection.

If there is any way to ‘know’ love – any sort of way to describe or define it – this is highly subjective. Love, at least to me, is selfless yet completely selfish. I love you for who you are and would do most anything for you if you needed me to. This selfless love is something quite gradual that grows as I get to know you better and catch glimpses of your innate, immutable qualities – your kindness, your integrity, your character. While human beings are continuously mutating creatures, I do believe that there are things in us that are tested by life and time, yet do not change. This is the foundation of a human being, maybe it’s the soul, I don’t know – but these are the very things that I see in you every day. I can’t help but love this woman who exhibits many of the qualities that I admire, and also hope to possess. Selfless love leads to selfish love. I also love you for my own sake – for how you improve my life by driving me to be kinder and more understanding; changing the way I see myself and the world; making me question and even strengthen my beliefs and values. Yet it’s also just as simple as the fact that you make me feel wonderful and help me enjoy life just a little more than I would without you.

I want to know what you think about love. I admit, I don’t understand why you shy away from love the way you do. I can’t help but think that the more one stresses over ‘knowing’ what love is, the more likely he will be to let it slip by. There is no way to ‘know’ other than by the standards you, and you alone, create for yourself. As I’ve already said, it’s a scary thing, but it is so worth the risk. And if you think of love, and if you think of possibly loving me – I hope you realize that there isn’t much risk involved.

POETRY: TWO SPIRIT SOULS IN A PERFECT HARMONY

PART 1

It was foretold
And came to be,
Two spirit souls
In perfect harmony;
A moment in time
Their lives entwined.

A passion indefinable
True and fair,
A tenderness unrivalled
Loveliness so rare,
A heart fulfilled
She is everything, everywhere.

Musing upon such beauty
All that which is about me,
Gazing at starlit heavens above
I readily confess-
To have no greater love
Than for my princess.




PART 2

Take a trip with me,
All the way to the stars,
Far beyond the sky,
Hold on tight,
And don't look back,
We'll graze the moon,
As we pass it by,
Heading further into nothing,
Not knowing where we're going,
Seeing only each other now,
Black surrounding us both,
Far away from problems,
And everything life brings,
Touch the stars,
For they are in our reach,
Anything you want,
You can have it,
Take a trip with me,
You will not regret it.





PART 3

Why must I feel this way? I am a man of many torments,some of wich I cannot describe. There are certain things missing, such as my love. Without her I am not who I am supposed to be. Every day I question, does she feel the same as I? Does she love me as much as I love her? And with every thought I die! I have died so many times, that I don't know if I die again, if that will be the final. Sometimes I feel as if that would be the best thing. I would miss everyone, but this pain I would not. Just as long as I may take the love I have. I would be in a better place. My heart stays with her, and she shall keep it. I no longer have any use for it. I love her! And my heart is a symbol
of that, so that she may never forget me, and forever know, I will always be with her!



PART 4

Love lasts forever~
It does not change with the passing of seasons~
Nor does it fall away like leaves of a tree before a long winter~
But stays rooted deeply within~
Love is intended to endure~solid as a rock~
It should not be shaken~
It should not exist for the soul purpose of gain~
But given freely from one heart in love with another~
Love, everlasting love~
Whose origin must come from heaven above~
A god sent reminder of what true caring is all about~
The gift of all gifts~
Priceless~
True love....


PART 5

Her eyes, yes, her eyes
As twilight shades beckoning serenity
And mystery
The complexity of her being, open for all to see
Her eyes, sparkling bastions of mischievous merriment
Yet, softly caressing nature's souls
She gazes skyward and a thought floats heavenward
A caring soul touches the ether
and joins with the other gentle souls
In a melting melding vapor of exhaustion
She sighs, the weight of caring, care-taking,
heavy in her heart
She joyously carries on, her smile blessing those around her
Her loveliness infusing the atmosphere
with the perfumed romance of her song
Innocuously she brushes her hair back from her laughing eyes
Tossing her head self-assuredly
Her strength showing...
In her eyes,
Yes!
Her lovely eyes.



PART 6

She gently walked up to me
Without my request or invitation
She swiftly placed her hand on me
Before I could even utter a word

She suddenly pulled out a candlestick
And melted every ice block under my feet
She looked very close at my fingernails
And removed all the thorns that's hidden for ages

She rubbed my face with vanishing cream
And massaged my chest with tears from her eyes
She soothes my pain with her magic touch
And all my memory suddenly faded away

She looked into my eyes, saw my diseases
And nodded her head, a sign of relief
Then she panel beat every broken bone in my body
Which finally made me become a perfect being

Who she's, is still unknown to me
She came in my dream and made me whole
Who she was no one could tell
Whether a stranger, a lover, or an angel




PART 7



The power of a dream
The memory of a moment
The warmth of a smile
The excitement of a love

A silent reverie can bring
About the softest of emotions,
Squeezing one's heart
In exactly the right place.

Sometimes when I dream
I think of my soul as so beautiful.
Sometimes when I speak,
I think of my thoughts as so powerful.

The warmth of a dream
The excitement of a moment
The memory of a smile
The power of a love...
when you love the person you have become.


PART 8

You look up at the star-filled night and wonder what it is that you're searching for. Your eye lids blink then close and lightning streaks across the black once more. A tear finds its way down your cheek as in your mind the rain begins to fall. Washing away your shield made of sand, forever drowning the sound of my call. Silent echoes whisper throughout the passing breeze,flirting ever so gently with your ear. These silent echoes fill the canyons of your heart but never loud enough for you to hear.




PART 9

O love invisible
In my heart I can see you
O love indescribable
In my soul I can feel you
O love indecipherable
Within me I seek the knowledge of you
O love unfathomable
I long the more to understand you

Amid cheerfulness and tranquility
You reaches the realm of inaccessible
Beyond all that physical senses could conceive
You dwell in life-delighting heaven
Imagining out of all sense and reason
You strike the mind with uncontrollable mystery
Inapprehensible you'll ever remain
And I'll ever be drawn close to you



PART 10

Look into a woman's eyes
tell me what you see.
Is it love, is it strength
or is it me?
Is it hunger or does it bleed?
True love follows your heart
you just have to lead.
When a woman smiles
do you quiver? Or do you shine?
Do you tie up in knots
or do you feel just fine?
When a woman's lips come close to yours
what is it that you see?
They touch, you feel
warmth, tingles
shame?
What is it that you see
behind your darkened eyes?
Do you love her or is it the thought of me?
Do you feel her touch reach for you at night?
Do you try to hold her tight?
Is it really the woman before you that you love?
Or is it a being to hold and touch and try to love?
Tell me, please, is it true love
for me or a fantasy for you?

PERSONAL/LETTER: YOU ARE THE ONE

Dear future love,

We all want to fall in love. why? because that experience makes us feel completely alive, where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and we’re flying into the heavens. it may only last a moment, an hour, an afternoon, but that doesn’t diminish its value cause we’re left with memories that we’ll treasure for the rest of our live.The greatest feeling in the world is to be around someone who wants to hold you, wants to kiss your forehead, wants to be around you, wants to call you at night, wants to see you smile. But I think what’s better than that is finding someone who does it all because she wants to see you happy.It’s not the person you’re with but the person you become when you’re with that person. certain people bring out your best self. that’s who you need to find, a someone who brings out your best self.

When you start to know someone, all their physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self,any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant.Love is standing on wet cement ..the longer you stay, the harder it is to leave and you can never let go without leaving your . f . o . o . t . p . r . i . n . t . s




Do you remember the night our lives changed? I remember. The way you looked, the way you smiled, the way you smelled, the way you laughed and the way your shy eyes couldn’t quite meet mine. That made my heart flutter. Did I ever tell you that?

The days went by, slowly at first. Every second I spent with you felt like an eternity because the world stopped when I was with you. Problems, worries, despair and frustration would melt away. The way your smile made your eyes blaze and my heart explode, I will never forget that.

Our days slid into weeks and months and as the time passed, my adoration for you only intensified. The way you snore when you sleep, stutter when you get excited telling a story, take me in your arms for no reason and kiss me in that spot that only you know. That’s why I love you.

Most of all, though, I love when you look at me. Your eyes, so kind, look past me. They look into me. You see me, who I am to myself and not the world. You see my faults, my failing, my frailty. But you see beyond it, too. You discover what the world neglects: my fire, my passion, myself.

So you see, you are the one. The only one. The true one.

Missing you, why, there’s nothing better in the world. Because, when I miss you, I think of you, and when I think of you, it makes my heart dream.

So always remember, you are mine and I am yours. We are us

POETRY: IN MAGICAL MOMENTS

 Love, it defies my definition
Save it's my obsession
My desire for you
Why, I know not
You were my unfulfilled
fantasies
My most inner, deepest desires
That was the beginning

And then the
fantasies were
fulfilled
In magical moments
of delightful melodies
That was then . . .

And now, well it's
different
In fulfillment, you --
became my soul
And my soul was yours
Our minds fused in
a loving intermingling
Blood in blood,
warm and fresh

Our lives became real
And the fantasy
became life
I feel every breathe,
every gasp, even --
the slightest
reflection
of your mind

Such communion and
yet . . .
It seems improbable
Our places have been
apart ten thousand
years
Our lives so different
Yet . . .
We know each other
intimately
And in intimacy we
discovered what
we already knew

So if I ask:
Love, what is love?
I can say simply:
we are love





We all need it
deep down in our soul,

Someone to love
someone to hold.

A gentle touch,
a listening ear...

To let us know
that love is near.

Love is all
but just a word,

That lingers on
yet seldom heard.

Love cannot be
bought or sold...

A timeless treasure,
Love is gold.




A Man and a Woman;
both torn in between the cracks of compassion
Two Souls
combined in a universe of faltering emotions.
The Woman,
with no question, nor uncertainty of what she tastes.
The Man,
who builds up confusion as a wall, turns his head the other way.
The Woman,
brought into a world where her senses are consumed by love.
The Man,
who may never want to venture a good thing,
And fails to face
what the woman really wants and craves.
If he allows her to enter his world,
he allows her to love him unconditionally...
The woman,
in awe of his existence alone, but heart broken,
For she has already entered that world,
and cannot turn back.
Frustration soaks up inside of her,
only to bring disillusion.

Two Souls
combined in an eternally powerful relationship...

One, a Woman,
who gives her heart in despair, because she fears his loss,
Scared she will loose his spirit,
his heart, his insight, his totality
To something he is not sure of,
or does not crave as much as she does.

Another, a Man,
who might have given up on what could have been true love,
But has not given up
on what is and always will be a secure friendship.
Grateful to have met such a unique woman,
but blinded to what she desires.

And so, in the end...
Two Souls
are combined and tied in a sturdy, never-ending friendship...
But soon, passion is bound to creep out from it's hiding place,
and bound to find a way
Into the combined souls of the Man and the Woman,
never to disappear and always to remain a part of them.
Destiny has chosen them to meet,
but they must choose what path to take,
And that path will impact them both for eternity...



I have drifted about never knowing it's meaning,
As many others, I do suppose.
Countless centuries of attempted definitions,
And lifetimes of imagined impressions.

I have found it or it has found me,
This wondrous and fervent emotion.
Not tangible they say - I beg to differ,
I have embraced it and will not let it go.

It is within my heart and throughout my soul,
A warm blanket around me in a cold world.
My heart is dancing in heaven,
My feet struggle to reach for the earth.

More questions than answers it poses,
Yet the answers are the questions themselves.
Never will I forfeit this magnificent state,
For now that it has arrived, it is mine forevermore.

Not is it the words, nor is it the actions,
Nor is it the acquisition of another?s adoration.
It is merely the exhilarated confirmation to myself,
That I am capable of feeling such brilliance.

THOUGHTS: SOMETIME I WANT TO QUIT BEING A DOCTOR

Do you ever want to quit? Do you ever wish you could just take your life and turn it upside down? Do something entirely different? Do you ever, dear doctors, fantasize about other jobs, other professions? Do you feel guilty when you have such decadent thoughts?

I think about it sometimes. Not because I hate medicine, or because I’m burnt-out, or because I’m impaired. I just think that maybe, life is too short and too wonderful to do only one thing for an entire lifetime. I’ve fantasized about all kinds of different careers. After a busy emergency department shift, when I’m asked about 10,000 questions for eight hours, I think I’d like to retire as the night security guard for a mall. Just walking and checking locks, sitting down when I want, exercising as much as I need by pacing the circumference of a large shopping center (on a carpeted floor, more cushioned than our hospital tile and concrete). I’m sure it’s harder than that, but it’s my fantasy!

I’ve imagined life running a bookstore, or working as a hunting guide; owning a gun-shop or being a firearms instructor. Of course, you know that I love to imagine myself as a writer, being paid for the words that come out of my head onto paper and computer screens.

Why do I do it? How many people fantasize about being physicians? I mean, I get to help the sick, save the occasional dying, do incredible procedures. I get paid very well to do it, to boot! Why change?

Why change? Maybe we all get a little bored. Let’s face it, even the best trauma surgeon in the busiest trauma center eventually says ‘well, I guess I’ve seen it all now!’ All of us have monotony built into our work lives. Chest pain, abdominal pain, headache, fracture, poisoning, gun-shot wound, all of these entities become part of a dance in the end. And it’s a dance we know so very well, having moved to the music thousands upon thousands of times for each of our most common diagnoses. EKG, Chest X-ray, enzymes, da,da,da; aspirin, nitro, oxygen, da, da, da. ‘The same as it ever was, the same as it ever was…’

This may be good, so long as we don’t fall into laziness. We become very good at things we do over and over again. The old martial arts maxim holds true: ‘The secret is, there is no secret. Repetition and practice are key.’ And yet, repetition, boredom, the same thing, all of these can get inside our brains and make us want to be, well, security guards or something!

It isn’t wrong, you know. To want to quit, or to quit! Just remember that no one else will understand; no one outside of medicine, that is. They’ll say, ‘oh, but you help so many people!’ Or ‘you’ll be wasting all of that education!’ Or this: ‘God gave you a gift! You can’t throw it away!’

Remember, if you want to change, that these people would have said to St. Peter: ‘Sure you could follow Jesus, but people need fish! Don’t quit yet! Give it a little while!’ And to young David, ‘King? Who wants the trouble? You’re an excellent shepherd. Don’t forget how much the sheep need you!’

We all have a path to follow. Sometimes, I believe, God takes us in very un-expected directions. And sometimes, a thing that seems wonderful to everyone else isn’t so wonderful anymore to us, as we trudge the halls of the world’s emergency rooms and hospitals, overwhelmed, tired and often quite traumatized by what we have seen.

If you need a break, do it. And don’t feel guilty. Maybe you’re needed somewhere else!

THOUGHTS: THINGS I LEARNED

The Lessons

1. You can’t look for a long term partner and a sexual encounter at the same time. You must look in different places, with different techniques. For example, in a place with loud music, it is impossible for a potential partner to get you know you. Someone just looking for sex does not care. As a general rule, the longer you postpone getting into bed, the longer your partner will hang around afterward.
2. When you are young, you tend to seek the best looking partner. This attractiveness will be gone in a flash. Instead pick someone easy to live with who has no nerve-grating habits.
3. There are three kinds of people:
   1. Those that like you naturally, or who would if they met you.
   2. Those that like you only while you are performing a mating dance with a steady stream of compliments, gifts, entertainments and undivided attention.
   3. Those that will never like you, including ones who had a relationship with you in the past and decided they did not like you after all.
   For the purposes of finding a suitable partner, studiously ignore anyone in category 2 or 3 no matter how attractive.
4. Most of your time you spend wishing for things, sometimes things you might buy, but it could be relationships, health, physical fitness, political changes… But think. In past, every time you achieved one of these things, the pleasure is momentary, sometimes over in a fraction of a second, and rarely lasting more than a week. So to achieve continuous happiness this way requires some major achievement or acquisition every couple of days. This is impossible. If you want a continuously happy life, you must do it by learning to appreciate what is under your nose, here and now. Your desires seductively promise happiness if you but become a slave to them, but they cannot deliver.
5. The life lesson I most wish I had learned early in life is: If your partner dumps you, that is absolute proof they were not the one no matter how attached you feel, no matter how much you believe you could never love another, no matter how great it used to be, no matter if the heartbreak is the worst pain you ever felt.
   P.S. Your partner did not dump you if all they did was have sex with someone else.
6. Play with your food! Do this, not to be virtuous, but out of curiosity. For three days, drop some food from your diet and pay attention to any differences. Do you have more or less energy? Do you sleep better or worse? Do you have more or less diarrhea? Are you more or less constipated? Do you have more or less gas? Do you feel more or less irritable? Foods you might consider for experimentation include: sugar, coffee, meat, eggs, nuts, fresh fruits, orange juice, bread, pasta, corn cereals, wheat, salt, dairy products or anything you eat a large amount of. If you notice a dramatic improvement, that might motivate you to consider a permanent change in your diet putting the troublesome foods on the back burner. Similarly, try adding a new food to your diet, or increasing the amount you eat, for three days to see what happens. You might consider salads, fresh fruit, fresh vegetables, fish, vitamin supplements, protein supplements or any of the foods I mentioned earlier to try deleting. You might be surprised to discover that candy bar you grab to give you energy has the exact opposite effect. No matter what happens, whether you feel better, you feel worse or nothing at all happens, this is still useful information you can use in shaping your future diet. Something very simple might just hugely improve your life. If you do discover something significant, you will kick yourself for not doing this sooner.
7. You have heard it a thousand times in a hundred different ways. The past cannot be changed. The past is over. The past is frozen in liquid plastic; not a molecule can move. Yet still you say to yourself what my mother called the saddest words in the English language, “if only”. To say “If only I had taken time to…” is as silly as saying “If only I had a flying pig, I could go on the Tonight Show.” You cannot change the past, though you can change your attitude to it using techniques like EMDR. You cannot change the past, though you can learn from it and ensure you don’t repeat the same mistakes in future. If ever you catch yourself in regret, immediately reframe that to “I must make sure I never make that mistake again” and let it go.
8. If someone does not like you, even if they once did, give up. Even if you succeed in temporarily getting them to like you, it will take escalating work to maintain the relationship. Seek your partners among those who naturally like you. The rest might as well be invisible vis a vis potential partners. Chasing after people who have rejected you is as silly as going to the movies and waiting for some movie star to become your partner. On the other hand, don’t presume people won’t like you just because they are extraordinarily wonderful or beautiful. Pay attention to the objective clues as to how well they like you, not to how well you calculate they should like you based on your relative pecking order status. Hollywood convention is that if the girl rejects the guy in the first reel, guaranteed they will be married in the last. Real life does not work that way. Movies are just wishful fantasies. If it appears no one likes you, find out why. Even a small improvement may help. Are you too clingy?, are you always thinking about what the relationship can do for you, never for your partner?, are you overweight?, do you have an unpleasant body or mouth odour?, do you lack tact? You can’t change other people, but you can change yourself.
9. Even if all your problems were caused 100% by your parents it is pointless to wring your hands about the terrible hand life dealt you. Nearly everyone heals their issues with their parents. It is just a matter of how soon you get on with it.
10. Every moment, you are consciously or unconsciously deciding what to do next. You have some unwritten rules for deciding your priorities. You may usually do whatever makes the most money, which will be the most fun, which will be the easiest, which will give you the biggest rush, which will make you healthiest, most enlightened, most well liked, most respected, the most secure, the most laid, the most powerful, the most famous, the most feared, the best looking, the most knowledgeable etc. If you change the rules even slightly, you will live a completely different life. Try asking different questions. See what happens when you ask “What will be most useful to the universe?”. Your priority rules are the biggest lever you have in determining your fate. Of course the other big controlling priority is what you choose to spend your time thinking about.
11. Do it now! Nearly all the great mathematicians and physicists did their best work in their twenties. If you have grand dreams, realise them now. You may well not have the energy later. Time seems to stretch endlessly ahead of you, but your life is over in an eyeblink.
12. Don’t be attached to the results of your action. Constant checking to see if your work has born fruit just wastes time and causes discouragement. Some liken it to digging up a seed you have planted each day to see how it is doing. Get on with something else. Never underestimate the power of the futile gesture.
13. Understating your case is more persuasive than overstating it. You supply the facts. Let others supply the emotion. If you supply the emotion, others will take no action, believing you must have already handled the problem.
14. When you can’t get what you want, one alternative to trying harder to get it, is to talk yourself out of wanting it so badly, at least not getting yourself upset over it. Similarly, when people do obnoxious things, you are not obligated to get upset. For exactly how to avoid getting upset, see Living Love.
15. You can’t tell if someone is lying just by how sincere they sound. Habitual liars are those who have polished lying to a high art. You would never suspect them based on their look or demeanor. However, I have noticed liars tend to repeat the same old talking points, and take a little too long to answer simple questions. They have to compose the answers first and think about if they are falling into a consistency trap.
16. The years pass faster and faster as you get older. By the time you reach puberty, your life is half over in psychological time. Don’t procrastinate the truly important things.
17. If it sounds to good to be true, it nearly always is. Don’t waste time looking for zero-effort ways to do things. You just set yourself up to be conned. Find out what methods the people who actually succeeded have used.
18. Think globally; act locally. Saving the world is a huge job. Yours is just a small part. However, it is a necessary part.
19. The things you worry most about almost never happen. If you don’t believe me, start tracking them.

20. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
    ~ Rita Mae Brown (born: 1944-11-28 age: 67) inSudden Death often misattributed to Benjamin Franklin.
    

    Persistence is great, but you must persist with something that works.

21. Other people do things that annoy you, not to annoy you, but in the usually-vain hope that doing so will make them feel better.
22. Despite the protestations of absolute Truth, there is a tremendous amount of lying surrounding religion and spirituality.
23. At many times in your life it will seem as if you have absolutely no energy or resources. But even then you can find something you can do that will marginally improve your lot or keep it from getting even worse than it would have naturally.
24. If you are not making any progress on your big dreams, the very bigness of the dreams may be paralysing you. Think instead, "What could I do today that would marginally improve my lot." Focus not so much on where you want to go, but where you could go immediately from here.
25. When you are coming in for a landing in a plane and your ears won’t pop and you have a splitting headache, just plug your nose and blow gently.
26. When you have dry congested nose, just snort up a bit of water to clean it out.
27. Boiling water is a remarkable cleanser for kitchen or bathroom. It dissolves dried on muck, kills germs, deodorises, leaving no residue or perfume or caustic chemical odour.
28. The human body is only designed to last for forty years in the wild. You must take extraordinary care of it over your whole life if you want it to last you in comfort the eighty or ninety we humans live now. Don’t buy into the religious notion it is wicked to look after your body.
29. While chasing after riches leads to an empty life, chasing after poverty also leads to misery. Neither extreme is as pleasant as the fairy tales make it out to be.
30. Winning the heart of someone much more physically attractive than you can lead to misery by several routes.
    • Others will compete to woo them away.
    • You may become too besotted, and allow yourself to become psychologically enslaved.
    • Chances are they are flawed in character or some other way otherwise you would not have been able to win them. You may find you have got yourself quite a temperamental handful.
    • You can start feeling unworthy.
    You are better off finding someone more evenly matched in beauty who enjoys the same activities you do.

THOUGHTS: WHAT DO I MISS ABOUT CHILDHOOD

I miss childhood. I miss innocence. I miss not having responsibilities. I miss the biggest question in my life being, “Should I watch Scooby Do, or Superfriends?”

Pop culture was at its peak then even though everything was in its infancy. Television had great shows with Lost in Space, Wild, Wild West, Combat!, Mission: Impossible, Star Trek, Rat Patrol, Time Tunnel, Adamms Family, Outer Limits, Jonny Quest, Scooby Do, and well, the list of wonderful shows is endless.

 Running to the ice cream truck in the summer and the smell of water on the hot sidewalk from playing in the sprinklers, having a new ball and trying to keep it from popping,

 I remember the smells and tastes and toys as well life was so magical

PERSONAL/ LETTER: LIKE TO FIND A GIRL WHO LIKES TO READ

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

SPIRITUAL: LETTING GO..IS THE HARDEST THING

Letting Go

Letting go can be one of the hardest things in the world to.We are afraid to let go because we are afraid of change.We are afraid of what may lie ahead for us if we don't let go. It is often very hard to see life without the problem in it.Sometimes we really want to let go, but just don't know how.Sometimes we are even afraid to admit that we feel negative about some things.

Letting Go may be about letting go of a feeling, or even a person, or maybe simply about letting go of your feelings about that person. It may be letting go of a career prospect, a family member, a feeling, a project or even a way of life.Losing something of value

What happens when you loose something you think you value? The chances are you miss the feelings it gave you, not the actual item lost.We loose things, possessions, jobs, friends throughout our whole life. What happened to the first picture you drew?

Your first job? Your first ever friend? Change comes when we need change. Otherwise we'd never grow as people We go on and draw better pictures, get better jobs, and new friends. The thing to remember is that the things we want out of life DO change as we grow older, but we cling to what we have because we are afraid of change. Think of the friends you have NOW, and if you've ever been to a school reunion or met up with your 1st ever best friend, you'll see how different you both are now. What about your first boyfriend or girlfriend? The point is that we let go of things all the time, and this time will be NO different from all the other times so long as you go with what you truly feel.

Processes



To let go, first you must identify the reasons you are feeling the way that you feel. Those feelings which are arising from the 'thought' of letting go. Are you feeling angry? What aspects make you angry? (this may be more than one thing) Are you feeling disappointed? Which parts disappoint you, specify. Are you blaming yourself? What things did you do and shouldn't have done, or didn't do when you should have. Are you afraid of something? For example, giving up, failure, change - be as specific as possible.When we break everything down into bite-sized chunks, things become easier to swallow. As individual items, you can start to work out ways to bring the positive back into your life.

So if you are angry, work through the anger. If you are feeling disappointment, work through why and settle each and every aspect of it. If you feel like a failure, work through what you can do to make better things in your life.

All those things which you want, you can achieve elsewhere if you care to look for it. We hold on to things because we are mostly afraid to be without them in our lives. We hold on to feelings because we are afraid that being happy or cheerful or hopeful is wrong under the circumstances. We hold on to things that are not working out because we forget that better things are around the corner. We have no trust.

To let go means failure? No. To let go of something which isn't working for you is actually success.
It is recognition of what is wrong, and deciding to make your life RIGHT. It is recognition of what stifles you, in favour of new opportunities around the corner. When we LET GO, new opportunities DO appear. But those new opportunities RARELY appear whilst we are holding on to the old, because we are holding on so tightly - we simply DO NOT SEE, what else is on offer. When you let go of something, something always comes along to fill that space.

If you aren't looking for a new job, then you don't go looking and are not open to the possibilities of a new job appearing in your life. If you aren't looking for a new creative outlet, then one will not instantly appear - and even if it did; you wouldn't be looking right, and thus it would probably pass you by. You have to be open to new opportunities. You have to know and trust completely that better things are out there for you - just keep your eyes and ears open.  Stop looking to the past - look to your future.

Life is what you make it. Holding on to things which are NOT working, will not make you happy... You can't keep trying to turn water into wine... it'll frustrate you, annoy you, consume you... So pull back your shoulders and tell yourself you're going to find something that is going to work, that IS going to be of more benefit than what you currently have.

Keep Moving Forward. Don't look back If your decision to let go is made from the heart, then you won't actually look back. If you are trying to let go, or looking back it's coming from your head. That is to say; if you have made a decision from your heart to do something, if your heart is true to moving forwards then, there is no need to look back. Our heads, our minds, our thoughts kick in because of outside influence trying to get us to look back.



IF Every decision is based on what you feel at the time then there is no need to look back. Except maybe a few years down the road when you can say 'Thank Goodness for that' If it's coming from your head; and you feel yourself reaching back - there is a reason for it. If it is your head, mind and thoughts saying let go, but your heart simply can not let go, you need to remember what you truly want. This may be unresolved issues, or a basic need being unfulfilled, but there is always a reason why your heart struggles to let go.



Unconditional Love

Being unconditional means having no-conditions attached. Which means letting go, knowing you can let go and knowing you need not hold on. It doesn't mean you HAVE to let go, or NEED not hold on, its simple acceptance of all is, as it is.

POETRY: I WILL BE WAITING HERE ...TILL THE END OF TIME...FOR THAT KISS

One simple thought.

That's all that governs everything I do.

That's all, one simple thing.

No matter where I am,

No matter what I'm doing

It all leads back to this one thing.

It has the power to effect my mood.

It can make me happy,

to the utmost extreme.

However, it can also bring me

to a whole new low.

It can make me the most confident man alive.

But it can also fill me with self doubt.

Usually it lifts me up and makes me smile,

Makes me want to be near this thing,

This one simple thing.

This one simple thought.

Life can be so funny.

It has its twists and turns,

it can be so extremely complicated,

so confusing, so empty, so cold.

It's funny that in a way

all life's worries and perils,

all the negative things that can happen,

to make a person just want to give up,

all those things can be erased in the blink of an eye

by thinking of the one thing that makes you happy-

The one thing YOUR world revolves around.

And for me, that one thing,

that one beautiful thought, is of you.









2



From the day I held you, till the day I die,

I will cherish the time we had.



From the day I saw you, till the day I go blind,

I will never forget when I first laid eyes on you.



From the day I loved you, until I can no more,

I will go on loving you... till the end of time.



From the day I saw your soul, till the day I cannot,

until the day our souls are one,

I will wait here... for all eternity.



From the day you caressed me, till the day I can't feel any more,

I will always remember the ways you touched me.



From the day you smiled at me, until the day I can't smile back,

I will cherish the way you would smile at me like an angel.



From the day I felt you, until the day I cannot any more,

I will never forget how you felt in my arms,

my heart skipping a beat, as I caressed you with all my love.



Until the day I kiss you, the day that our love will entwine,

I will be waiting here... till the end of time... for that kiss







3



The illusion was beauty

companionship disguised

the romantic trespassing



In the swollen wind

all that remains of you

are your fingerprints.

POETRY: ALL RESISTANCE DISINTEGRATES

We were once lovers so deeply in love
nothing could seperate us, but us
we had something so special, love could not define
mindblowing it surely was.

Now those days are nothing but a beautiful memory
the times we shared were nothing short of amazing
but all good things end eventually
but the thing that will never end is our memories.

When I look back upon those wonderful days
my heart and soul stop to think about
the fun, laughter, and joy we shared
when we were once lovers.

Thinking about those days brings tears to my eyes
tears of both sadness and happiness
nobody could take away the times we shared
when we were once lovers.


2
The sun sets and out comes the starry night
The calm waves crash along the sandy shore.
We lay there in each other's arms so tight
Each other's lost love, we gently restore.

Our mouths fill with passionate words we share
With these sweet words our dormant hearts arouse.
To our love nothing could ever compare
With the strength of pure love between our vows.

Our hearts rise up high in the starry sky
Our passion flies gracefully like a dove.
The night slowly ends and says its goodbye
We're still together entwined in love

The days and nights will always come and go
But our love will stay and resume to flow.



3

When you need to hear her tender voice every day
or you will go insane
The thought of her wit' another man brings you pain
The thought of her leaving you or never meeting her
brings tears to your eyes
She makes you feel alive
Before you met her your life had no meaning
Then she became your reason for living

You stay up at nights thinking of how wonderful she is
and write poems about her
Everything you see or do reminds you of her
You are willing to risk everything for her
You think of her all the time
When you think of her she becomes your sunshine

When you close your eyes, her face is the first thing you see
When you wake up, she flows continuously through your mind
like the waves in the sea
When you?re with her, there is no other place you would rather be

When she has hurt you badly and didn?t mean it intentionally
Even though she is with another man
And you still will wait for her for an eternity
Wait for her to clearly see
Wait for her even if she
Pulls you one way and another
Out of the all the girls you don?t want another

When she smiles it brings happiness and joy into your day
When you see her, for the moments you're together
are the best of the day
And you listen to everything she has to say
Before you go to sleep every night you pray
That one day she will realize how much you love her
And that one day you will be together
Forever



4
You are my melody, my note played just right.
From the moment I saw you
My heart gave flight.....

You are my melody, a sound so sweet.
The sound of your voice, the words from your lips...
Touch the very depths inside of me....

You are my melody, the tune that will always play
For you have opened up my heart with your love,
A love with passion that grows more and more each day...

You are my melody, my song that came true
My life is filled with so much joy,
Simply because... I fell in love with you.




5

A look into your eyes is pure ecstasy.
It delivers my subconscious to that blissful paradise
Found within my heart.

A look into your eyes
Is a look into the darkness of the night;
Unknown and unexpecting.

Yet, a look into your dark pools of infinity
Bestow upon me a sweet sense of tranquility and passion.
Feelings of desire overcome my own self-existence.

A look into your eyes engulfs me
In a fantasy where you and I are ceaselessly
In love
And quarantined from all the evil
And malicious ways of humanity.

All resistance disintegrates
As we immerse ourselves into each other's actuality.
I drift away in a sea of twilight
As you slowly and voluptuously seduce me
Through a maze of sensorial entanglement
That leaves me gasping (for an opportunity
To re-meditate the situation)

But then,
I look deeply into your eyes
And I know the love I feel for you
Isn't going to disappear.

It is destined to go on and fulfill my every wish.
And I do believe
With all of my heart,
Loving you is a resolution that I can savor.

So when I look into your eyes,
I remind myself how much I am truly
In love with you.




6
An explosion that released
a thousand
secrets,
opened every door,
and brought my dreams
to the surface.
It reached deep inside,
and spread
contagiously.
I was taken to the edge,
and lifted to the
stars.
A ride I'll never
forget.

PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER: CAN I TRUST YOU

Can I trust you, she asked...

Towering over me with only the flickering light of a candle illuminating her gourgeous angel features and associated expressions........the curves of her eyes, her cheeks, and soft lips, matched with a glowing of the skin on her naked body, matching that of her naked and vulnerable mind, which doesn't often enough allow such a question....

Sure as the sun will rise for every new day, I shall listen to you, hear your voice, and rise to meet your every need...Sure as the winds move across the ocean's surface, so shall I always move across our own distances in love...and always toward you... Sure as the sky turns gray, then blue...so shall my love weather all storms that come our way... Sure as the stars shine brightly in the clear night sky, so shall my heart shine brightly as it bares your name... and only your name...even now it whispers your name as it beats to give me life. Sure as the montain stands tall over the rivers and valleys below so shall I stand and watch over you...protecting you, never leaving your side...not ever again... Sure as the cleansing rains are sent to nourish all that depend on it, so shall I provide for and support you, who often, but not always depends on me. Sure as the tides ebb and flow with the changing energy of the moon, so shall my love remain flexible to your many moons and changing energy... Sure as our feet find eachother easch and every night, no matter the state thta we may have been in while falling asleep, shall i find you no matter where your ego may mistakenly tell you to run and hide...

...and as her tears rained down upon my chest last night, they carried with it a message from her soul to mine...a message of wanting to trust me, yet aknowledging the delicate process to arriving there. This is where I stand in the fire no matter the heat, ignoring my own ego and allowing my own vulnerability.


Can I trust you, she asked?

LOVE LETTER/ PERSONAL: DEAREST

Dearest,

What if, when we held each other, our flesh

became consciousness itself?

What if our flesh commingled
became the mother of light
and sound, the vast word,
the ocean forgotten at birth?

What if, when we held each other,
the skin between us slipped away,
and our old exasperated tongues
turned into everything that heals,
into one long kiss, the kiss that started
when the universe began.



What if, when we held each other,
nothing survived but one shared breath,
nothing survived but the sweet odors
of gentle and tempestuous love,
nothing survived but our sensual hearts
singing the only song there is.

What if when we held each other
we danced in that very moment of Now
and forgot all other moments before.

What if we lived every moment like that
in life and love's embrace?
no moments before, no moments after,
just the instant which the universe had blessed
us with no promise of future instants to be granted.

PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER: MY DEAREST

My Dearest...I have been afraid of living, afraid of loving, afraid of giving myself to you; all the while asking you to live, love, and give yourself to me. I have asked you to abandon the walls that surround your heart without fully abandoning my own. I have held onto pain and darkness and allowed fear to invade me to the point of losing myself and all that I stand for.  When my pain got the best of me, I avoided asking you to help me through it...thinking that your fears and your pain would only seek to shame me for my own.


I have looked for reasons to be annoyed, angry, or depressed instead of counting my many blessings and reasons to be happy. I have been human...I have been humbled...and I've witnessed my own Hell as a result of allowing ego to rule my world. With this pain, I step into a place of tremendous personal growth and am finding a strengthening of Spirit that is helping me to grow with every passing day. A strength that has shown me how and why to fully love, give, and trust in all. As I grow and I look at our life and our love with a renewed and enlightened vision, I give to you the following Invitation with no expectations other than for you to know how truly and deeply I love you...

PERSONAL/ LOVE LETTER; MY DEAREST

My Dearest,

You have brought so much into my world and often without effort...for it wasn't until I met you that I opened the door for so many wonderful things to enter into my life, which I wouldn't have experienced otherwise.

You are the one who would start me on this journey of becoming a man although it wouldn't be an easy road and would take a lot of patience.

Maybe you knew that when you signed up for this assignment...knew that you would have to hold back and save your strength for the challenges that we would one day face and have to conquer in order to stay together.

I look back with admiration at the various times in our lives where you rose up and showed strength that seemed beyond that of the girl that I fell in love with. It seems that "Girl" no longer does you justice and even feels uncomfortable as it leaves my lips...it is the strength of a woman that I see whan I look at you today.

You are the strongest woman that I've ever had in my life...I can cite your strength in knowing how you have battled your ego, your own limits, your hidden desires...to stay in this place with me.

It is through this journey and through your love that I feel the man appearing as I admire the woman that you have become. In this very state of battle-weariness, I have learned the true meaning of life, love, and Spirit and how they relate with one another. And through these struggles, I have grown to know how to love completely, wholly, and without fear.

My Dearest, I give you my life, my heart and want you to know from the very depths of my soul that I am truly madly and deeply in love with you. In love with every part of you...the triumphs, the struggles. I understand you and know you from the inside out and shower you in unconditional love and light, wrapping you up and protecting you with my newly strong arms...holding you ever so close to me, warming you with the heat that is generated from the very beating of my heart...a heart that beats for you.