PERSONAL: I HATE DATING APPS

I, like many online daters, have been swiping for years. Whenever I find myself in need of a thumb-twiddling activity, I fire up dating apps and aimlessly trawl through a bottomless pit of faces. I fling messages at a few of the matches I fancy, but things usually fizzle out after an initial flirtation. I stockpile matches like they're going out of fashion, but when it comes to actual meaningful engagement, there's very little going on. 

It has become more of a game right now than a tool for looking for a relationship. When I get a match, I tend to message the woman but often they don't reply or if they do, the conversation is usually boring or very one sided, so I stop messaging.You match with someone that you think you could really like and the conversation never takes off because it's easier to not reply to a message or not open an app than it would be to ignore someone if you met in real life or traditional way

So, if swiping's not working, why not just delete the apps? I've had this conversation with a lot of my friends and we all have expressed a dislike for dating apps, but continue to use them because it seems to be the way it works now. For those looking for meaningful connections, the gamification of dating apps can be demoralising... "utterly soul-destroying" due to the lack of interaction. I keep going back in the hope that maybe something might come of it

Someone figure out that it takes 7,500 profiles before connecting with someone 'meaningfully


Feeling an initial spark with someone is thrilling and a sought after experience for many woman. If they don’t have that initial spark with someone, most woman feel as they are settling. If you’re repeatedly dating the same type of partner without success, you may be feeling an initial spark with partners that aren’t a good match.When you’re very attracted to someone, you are more likely to overlook red flags and signs that you’re incompatible with them.


So why am I single?

Do I tell her it’s because “I'm so busy,” knowing damn well I spent all of last Sunday fully in my bed?
Do I say I’ve been “focusing on me,” as if I don’t have six dating apps clogging up storage on my phone?
Or do I tell her that nearly every spark I’ve felt with a woman in the past three years has either led to ghosting or getting the “I’m not looking for anything serious right now” convo?

When I talk to a woman the first question I ask is "So, can you tell me what’s wrong with you now so I don’t have to waste my time here?” without sugarcoating it. Because that’s ultimately what the person wants to know, right? Like, Oh, can I handle that you have an obvious fear of commitment given the explanation you just told me? Probably not. And just like that...