No. 1: Couple who find each other useful.
In this scenario, people may see in their relationship an opportunity for profit, often focusing on financial gain. They may, for example, decide to create a mutually beneficial business partnership. Since the whole basis of the relationship is what each person can get out of it, it is self-oriented and can quickly lead to quarrels if one or the other partner feels he or she is being shortchanged. And such quarrels often spell the end . If either partner feels the relationship is no longer useful to them, they will likely simply cut off the relationship and move on.
No. 2: People who find it pleasurable to be together.
This type of relationship is higher than the first, Because couples who come together for profit may not actually enjoy spending time with each other. But couples who come together for pleasure are often witty and do actually enjoy each other’s company. They may, for example, like to get together on the weekends and go out for a good time on the town. These relationship can, indeed, be very pleasant, but when problems can quickly arise in these kinds of relationships, as well. As with relationship of utility, relationship of pleasure are also self-oriented, with the goal for each person being the pleasure they can get from it. And if the relationship somehow stops leading to pleasure, the realtionship will likely quickly part, with the relationship coming to an end. Both of these types of realtionship are instrumental. We enter into them because of something we can get out of them. And when we stop getting what we want from them—profit or pleasure—we see no value in the relationship, and it simply dies.
In this scenario, people may see in their relationship an opportunity for profit, often focusing on financial gain. They may, for example, decide to create a mutually beneficial business partnership. Since the whole basis of the relationship is what each person can get out of it, it is self-oriented and can quickly lead to quarrels if one or the other partner feels he or she is being shortchanged. And such quarrels often spell the end . If either partner feels the relationship is no longer useful to them, they will likely simply cut off the relationship and move on.
No. 2: People who find it pleasurable to be together.
This type of relationship is higher than the first, Because couples who come together for profit may not actually enjoy spending time with each other. But couples who come together for pleasure are often witty and do actually enjoy each other’s company. They may, for example, like to get together on the weekends and go out for a good time on the town. These relationship can, indeed, be very pleasant, but when problems can quickly arise in these kinds of relationships, as well. As with relationship of utility, relationship of pleasure are also self-oriented, with the goal for each person being the pleasure they can get from it. And if the relationship somehow stops leading to pleasure, the realtionship will likely quickly part, with the relationship coming to an end. Both of these types of realtionship are instrumental. We enter into them because of something we can get out of them. And when we stop getting what we want from them—profit or pleasure—we see no value in the relationship, and it simply dies.
No. 3: People who are attracted to each other because of the good they see in the other person.
This kind of relationship is based on the good. Two people are attracted to each other because of the good they see in the other person. They value the other person’s character and want to help it continue to grow and develop in healthy directions. The good they see in the other person may also inspire them to want to become better themselves. This type of relationship is not self-oriented or instrumental. Each person is focused not on him- or herself but on the other person. The partners love each other for who they are and not for what they can get out of the relationship.
This type of relationship will probably be much more enduring than the first two since it is likely to be brought to an end only if one of the persons involved becomes corrupt and stops being good. Although this realtinoship are not motivated by the quest for profit or pleasure, often do turn out to be useful and pleasurable, as well as good.
Think about your relationship from the standpoint To what degree have you and your partner been drawn together by utility, pleasure, or goodness? Relationships of utility focus on how each partner can profit (e.g., financially, socially, etc.) from the relationship. Relationships of pleasure focus on how each partner can find enjoyment (e.g., shared hobbies, interests, sexual relations, etc.) in the relationship. Relationships of goodness are focused on the other person. They are not motivated by what each person can get from the relationship but rather by the goodness each person sees in the other.
This kind of relationship is based on the good. Two people are attracted to each other because of the good they see in the other person. They value the other person’s character and want to help it continue to grow and develop in healthy directions. The good they see in the other person may also inspire them to want to become better themselves. This type of relationship is not self-oriented or instrumental. Each person is focused not on him- or herself but on the other person. The partners love each other for who they are and not for what they can get out of the relationship.
This type of relationship will probably be much more enduring than the first two since it is likely to be brought to an end only if one of the persons involved becomes corrupt and stops being good. Although this realtinoship are not motivated by the quest for profit or pleasure, often do turn out to be useful and pleasurable, as well as good.
Think about your relationship from the standpoint To what degree have you and your partner been drawn together by utility, pleasure, or goodness? Relationships of utility focus on how each partner can profit (e.g., financially, socially, etc.) from the relationship. Relationships of pleasure focus on how each partner can find enjoyment (e.g., shared hobbies, interests, sexual relations, etc.) in the relationship. Relationships of goodness are focused on the other person. They are not motivated by what each person can get from the relationship but rather by the goodness each person sees in the other.
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