STORY: ONCE UPON A TIME IN A LAND FAR FAR AWAY

 Our problems are with the stories we tell ourselves. We think we are not good enough. A lie! For we are more than good enough.We are all broken in some way. We all have faults and insecurities. We think we have to be cool. But we do not have to be cool. We have to be authentic. Authenticity means to embrace equally all of our strength, power, courage, passion, mistakes, failures, and insecurities. To present that whole self to the world instead of our practiced varnish of cool. Nobody connects because they are cool. They connect because they are real. Real is rare. Our authenticity is the part of us that is led by our heart, our intuition, the part of us that aspires to excellence and to making this world better.

Once upon a time in a land far, far away, there lived a young man who was in love with a beautiful girl, and he was kind to her. His kindness was genuine; he really did care about her and he really did love her. He was good to her: he held doors for her, he complimented her wardrobe, and he noticed and commented on little things, like whenever she changed the style or color of her hair. He offered her rides when she needed them. And of course, he was the one who always paid for things, because he was the guy, after all, and she was the girl, so that just seemed right. And besides, he was nice like that. He discovered early on that she needed a lot of emotional support, that sometimes she just needed to hear that yes,she was pretty and yes, she was smart and yes, she was funny, and he was always there to reassure her that yes,she was all of those things.

His reward for his attention and kindness was a great deal of flirting from her, a lot of hugs, sometimes a kiss, sometimes even on the lips. Not too much, though, you understand, because we don’t want to ruin the friendship, right? Yes, of course I understand, he would say, even though he didn’t, but he was willing to be patient. She would invite him to parties and he would rejoice, even though in his heart he suspected that she just needed a ride and had no one else to ask. He would immediately dismiss this terrible thought, however, for she was always eternally grateful when he would say yes. I knew I could count on you, she would say. Later, when the night was over and she was inebriated and bewildered, staying out far past any reasonable hour, he was always there to drive her home, to get her safely into her house and into her bed. He would tuck her in and stroke her hair and sit beside her for a while, waiting around... for what? An invitation? A thank-you? No... just in case... because, you know, he was nice like that. And when he realized that she was passed out and the moment had passed out and nothing else was going to happen, he would retire to her couch, making do with a too mall blanket, lying awake and wondering what he could have done differently, thoroughly frustrated. But he was the one—surely tomorrow she would realize?—who cared enough to take care of her. Yes, he was nice like that. At other times, he would listen to her for hours as she complained to him about other men, how there were so few nice guys like him, and how he was the only one she could trust, the only one who really understood her. She was always upset at some guy, sometimes to the point of feeling physically ill about it, and he would rub her shoulders or buy her dinner, and even though that’s all she talked about to hear her voice anyway.

He secretly couldn’t stand the thought that she had other guys in her life, guys that she slept with, but he tolerated it because he knew she spent far more quality time with him than with them. After all, who did she call to go to movies with when she was bored? Who did she call to take her shopping? Who was the one who waited patiently holding her shopping bags outside countless changing rooms for her? And who did she allow to steal secret glimpses of her body by purposely leaving the changing room curtain slightly open as she changed? That’s right—him, not them!

Yes, it was only a matter of time, only a matter of time. He had seen her at her worst, he had dabbed her tears, he had been there when the world was crushing in on her, when she was depressed or sad or angry, and he had watched her go home with guys who he was sure didn’t care about her at all. And in spite of everything, he still loved and cared for her. For he was nice like that.And years went by... One day, as he reflected upon his long, lonely, and unfruitful relationship with her, he had a sudden idea. He decided he would do something completely different, something so outlandish and adventurous that it would prove to her, once and for all, his undying love for her, and surely launch their magical future together. He had heard about the sea, a long, long distance away, and he decided he would travel to the end of the earth, find the fabled sea, and seek out for her a treasure. He would bring it back home and present it to her as the symbol of his undying devotion. Of course, he realized he could just buy her something online and have it delivered, but part of what he wanted her to notice was his willingness to endure the long and dangerous journey, just for her. Besides, he wanted the treasure to be special.

He thought about it for a long time until, suddenly, he knew! He would seek out and obtain for her an… Exquisite Pearl! Not just any old pearl, you see, but a grand one, one that merited emphasis, capitalization, and italics. Yes! Surely this would impress her so much she would forget all the other men and only want to be with him. After all, who would do such a noble thing? Ah, the more he thought about it, the more he knew he had to go! So one day, without telling anyone, he took up a small bundle of provisions and left in the middle of the night on a journey across the land to the far and distant sea.

The journey was incredibly difficult, far more difficult than he ever could have imagined. There is no way he would have attempted it if he had known how extremely difficult it was going to be. He persisted, however, because of his great love for the beautiful girl back home and how much he wanted to impress her. After many weeks he came upon a treacherous mountain, and he climbed that mountain, clinging perilously to the high rocks for many days, and oh how he missed her. After more weeks he came upon a scorching desert, and he traversed that desert, nearly dying of thirst for many days, and oh how he desired her. After even more weeks he came upon a deep, dangerous, and brooding forest, and he entered that forest, becoming hopelessly lost for many days, and oh how he loved her.

Finally, finally, after all these long days, after all these arduous tribulations, he found himself to be... at the sea! Oh, how immense and expansive, how shimmering and shining, how beautiful and blue! He was broken and battered but somehow the sea restored him, filling him with great energy and strength. He wasted no time seeking out the treasure he had come for. “I have come from far, far away,” he said to some local fishermen, “and I am here now at the sea to seek out a treasure, an... Exquisite Pearl! For the woman I love, you see.” The fishermen looked at him funny, then suggested a few local souvenir shops nearby, which wasn’t exactly what he had in mind, but the fishermen assured him there were no real pearls anywhere around here and hadn’t been for years. So he tried all the shops and after a measure of time, he found a large, porcelain, souvenir pearl.

It wasn’t that great, actually, but it was the best he could find, so declaring it to be the symbol of his undying affection, he bought it and added it to his little bundle. He turned around immediately to leave the sea, to return home to the girl he dearly loved. But something made him pause... to look over his shoulder... to turn around... for some reason, he could not take his eyes off the sea and all its blue immenseness. He lingered there for many days, contemplating the sea.

Finally, after lingering and contemplating much longer than he felt he should, with a curious mixture of sadness and excitement, he turned around and set back out across the land, retracing his path. He battled again through the dark, brooding forest, through the scorching desert, and over the unforgiving mountain fighting the elements every torturous step of the way. And always he thought of his dear, beautiful girl, the love of his life, and how surprised she would be at his sacrifice and his amazing gift. Finally, interminably, he arrived back at his village, battered and bruised. He caught his breath, dusted off his clothes, straightened his tie, and after a deep breath, rushed to her home.

She was, of course, thoroughly surprised to see him, for he had been gone for such a very long time, and even more thoroughly surprised when, sitting at her feet, he recounted all the details of his remarkable adventure. He told her of all the hardships he had endured just for her. He told her about the mountain and he told her about the desert and he told her about the forest and he told her about the sea. Mostly, he told her about the sea.

And then, with the greatest flourish he could muster, he stood up tall before her, opened his little bundle, and presented to her with both hands the... Exquisite Pearl! The beautiful girl was astonished and she began to weep and fell into his arms. She proclaimed right then and there that from now on, she would love no other man but him. No one has ever sacrificed so much for me! she cried. Besides, the other men are just a bunch of jerks anyway, especially the guy she met a few weeks ago. Oh and by the way, I have to go see him again tonight. I think he is just using me for sex, you see, and I want to go clear that up, to tell him that he can’t just use me like that. You understand, right? But not to worry because I finally know what I want and I will call you tomorrow for sure. Or maybe the next day. But sometime this week for sure, and thank you so much for the gift, it’s the thought that counts, right? You’re so cute. And she showered him again with kisses and hugs and fondness. But something was different... something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. For as she was showering him with all those kisses and all those hugs and all those promises and proclamations, he found himself looking over her shoulder and out the window toward the distant horizon. She smiled at him and he thought of the mountain. She held his hand and he thought of the desert. She hugged him close and he thought of the forest. She kissed his cheek and he thought of the sea. Most of all... he thought of the sea... he thought of the sea. And he placed the “pearl” in her hand and walked away.