POETRY: REMEMBERING THE GOOD TIMES

Too much wine tonight,
too much time today,
to think,
to realise,
that I never really you knew you at all- did I?
this is the last good-bye,
I have no more time to waste,
already too much has gone.

The presence of you,
the thoughts of you,
linger tonight in my mind,
rekindled today
no,
not that,
never again that.

Remembering some of the good times,
all day I thought of you.

We spoke today after a very long time,
it was only the thread of the last memory of you,
that kept me on the line to you at the time,
you brought back these memories.

But again
to realise,
that I never really you knew you at all- did I?
this is the last good-bye

For a moment I missed you,
wanted to see you again,
wanted you back with me,
but no that was just a memory,
not even with this amount of wine,
do I want this memory, or you back in my life.

The wine closes my eyes for a moment,
a small cool breeze touches my face,
the beginning of winter,
also the time we meet, so long ago now,
what a strange coincidence
that you should call this day,
I?ve never been good at remembering dates or,
Anniversaries, but is this why you called,
is this our day our anniversary?
Nothing to eat today since you called,
we spoke,
the wine is adding to the emptiness inside me,
a sort of dry numbness.

We had history,
a long time together,
the love so short
you and I,
however you left so quickly, not a word of truth,
did you speak to me at the time,
no, I realise you did not lie to me,
your real plans, hidden from me,
preparing to leave,
a coldness, that edge in your voice,
sharp towards me,
where once you were so warm,
especially in winter,
an indifference grew in you so quickly,
readying yourself at the time,
steeling yourself,
wanting to fight and argue with me,
trying to give yourself a reason to go,
an excuse, yes, now I see that,

No, I don?t fight, I never will,
just had to give me the truth.

This truth

that I never really you knew you at all- did I?
this is the last good-bye, now.


From here, this place,
I can see all the stars in the night sky,
Suns, powerful engines,
ours keeps this small planet alive,
heat and light give life and, in reality,
not all those bright dots are still active,
still alive, the light takes so long to reach us,
some are already dead, their heat exhausted,
extinguished in this ?real? time.

I failed to see,
the fire and passion in you had been spent,
your love for me also exhausted.

Another glass of wine, my head is swimming,
alcohol and visions,
take hold some more

Somehow you managed to slip under my guard,
back then, did you hope to do it again?
is that why you called?
I let you in- didn?t I, subconsciously,
making me care about you,
soft and warm, tender,
so warm
as it suited you.

Climbed over the walls,
built to protect me,
even managed to make me believe I loved you,
tricked me so easily,
to keep you company,
wasting my time,
time I will never see again.

Was I blind or just gullible?
I felt for you, I hurt so much, for so long,
I felt sorry for you- wanted to look after you,
as my feeling grew,
so did your indifference towards me,
had me there in the palm of your hand,
my heat, my heart all yours.

At that point you no longer wanted it,
the challenge for you was also gone,
I would have given you anything I could,
I would have done anything for you,
You needed to but ask me.

Reaching out to you,
all I received was rejection,
slapping my hand away,
and with your small hand,
crushed my heart at the same time,
my love for you was full.

All those time?s I held you,
loved you, it's all I wanted in return.
The truth, becoming apparent,
I should have seen it all from the start,
but I believed in you,
believed in your soul, your warm heart,
the one you showed me at the start, but,
you turned your face from mine.

Again this realisation,

that I never really you knew you at all- did I?
the time was here to say good-bye.

And good-bye it was the last one, the last time.

Sadness for what seemed to be such a long time,
after you, these thoughts of you that this wine,
brings back to me now once again.

Thoughts of the hopelessness of love,
that time back then, lost hope,
lost the desire.
So I imagined, but now,

now I know someone else,
a beautiful soul,
she saw my face and looked into my eyes,
she feels the weight of me there, in her eyes,
sees me, who I truly am,
touch?s me like no other before,
the fire inside me restarted, passion,
so much more than ever before

I miss my love more than I ever saw you,
once, just once I cried for you,
shed tears for your name, spoke it in my dreams,
now I know the love of the most beautiful heart,
I have ever know, and I have cried for knowing her.

So much wine tonight, way too much,
so much time to think,
to contemplate, the conclusion.


2

one day i was sitting waiting for an absolute 
that i would get a love of my dreams and that same day 
i went walking down a secret path that i thought i only knew 
but i guess i was wrong for that day that i was walking 
down the path there was a girl that was so beautiful 
i knew she was sent to me from heaven and with her angel 
glowing beauty i was quickly drawn to her love wishing 
and hoping and wishing for her love she passed by 
our eyes caught a gaze at each other's eyes as if we knew 
each other for ever and then i would ask her is heaven beautiful 
and if she asks why i ask that i would tell her 'cause you are 
the heavenly angel that just caught my heart.

POETRY: MY LOVE ...YOU ARE MY INSPIRATION

I compare you- not to the notebooks
that portray my intricate writings,
Nor to the pen I so religiously hold within my hand.
You are much like the shiny ink
that touches the sadness in my mind.

You are heartfelt perception, silent serenity,
warmth, and understanding-
An outstretched hand when my pen has forsaken me,
Kind words of freedom when darkness clouds my mind.
When I think of you my pen becomes immortal
and my paper, content.


2

My Love, you are my inspiration
the one I truly adore
your voice and what you say
always makes me wanting more
I have so much love for you
It's hard to explain
everything about you is like a dream

My Love, you are my future
the one I want
your thoughts and your care
makes you so special to my heart

My Love, I love you so much
nothing will ever change that
I can't wait to spend my life with you
to have you by my side
Forever and ever, Always


3


It's hard to love someone,
but it's harder to find someone who will love you,
Love can be so ineffable,
that no word could even describe why it is incredible,
Love is still a mystery,
no one can explain why losing love can be a misery,
Love is just a feeling,
but everyone treats it like its a "thing",
Love is as exciting as being a millionaire,
but love can also be as devastating as losing your friend,
It is so hard to let go of someone you really love,
but it is harder trying to forget about the person you loved,
Love is susceptible to any human's looks,
it can be prevented if you're willing to love someone not for their looks,
If you love someone,
don't say "I LOVE YOU!",
but instead say "I NEED YOU!",
It takes a nice person to love someone,
but it takes a real person to love someone for who they are inside.



4


You ask my feelings about you
it is hard to define
I know people like you
come only once in a lifetime.
I dream of the sensation
one day your heart and mine,
to feel the deep penetration
of two hearts combined.
::::
You ask my feelings about you
I'll do the best job I can
to tell you how much I care about you
and to make you understand.
When I am with you,
a feeling is inside
a feeling that warms my heart,
my soul, my mind.
::::
You ask my feelings about you
I'm trying to make you see
if you'll be there for me,
I'll be there for you, unconditionly.
Because you see,
That's how it's got to be
with in do time developing
emotionaly, mentally, and physically.
::::
You ask my feelings about you
I need to know how you feel every day
I'll do the same
so we don't push one another away.
::::
You ask my feelings about you
well, it is very true
I want you to understand
I DO care for you...



5

How do you tell someone
 who is everything to you,
  "thanks?"

How do explain things
 that are so deeply felt?

How do you define
 a shift of the soul?

We are not of the same blood yet,
 we are bound.

The dictionary
 is full of useless adjectives.

So,
 I will say,
  you are my breath,
   my heart,
    my life.


6

My love for you
rolls on for an eternity.
It is like a never ending story
written just for you.

My love for you
is like the sky.
It goes on and on.
Everyday I look to the sky
and all I think about is you.

My love for you
will always hold a place in my heart.
It will always be special to me
because it never ends, it only grows deeper,
as each day passes.


7

Love can be shown in so many ways,
Physically, emotionally, and with the soul.
But love means the most with just spending precious time together,
Holding one another and whispering those sweet thoughts of forever.
Sometimes a solid hug touches the heart so much more
Than anything ever has before.
Sometimes just gazing into the eyes of your love
Makes you feel more special than you've ever dreamed of.
Just that one laugh, that one talk, that one smile
Is worth missing those physical things,
And it makes your love so much more worthwhile.
Just think with that one kiss, 
What you could miss...
You could miss an emotional conversation, tons of laughs, and genuine smiles.
But whether you express your love physically, emtionally, or with your soul,
Make sure that you mean it, 
And that the one you express it to makes you feel whole

VIDEO:Jimmy Fallon Blew a Chance to Date Nicole Kidman

PERSONAL: WHY GUYS DON'T DATE STRONG WOMAN AND WHAT THEY REALLY WANT

If an amazing woman like could be single, there must be something wrong with men. What she doesn’t acknowledge is that despite her impressive credentials – attractive, successful, intelligent – she might not be giving men what THEY WANT.When a man goes out with a woman, he’s not as concerned with whether she’s articulate and on track to make partner at the law firm.  Men DO value intelligence, but they also want from their girlfriend what they CAN’T get from their business associates. Warmth, affection, nurturing, thoughtfulness. If he finds himself constantly hearing all the things he needs to change, he may just determine that he wants a bright woman who is less challenging. Not a Stepford Wife. Not a bimbo. Not a maid. Just someone who makes his life EASIER and more pleasant. huge reason 

Count me against the men who ADORE strong, independent, intellligent women. But also count me as someone who finds many of them can’t get out of their professional shells when dating. From my own experience a reasonable number of professional women have a tough time letting their hair down and when with them seem to feel as if I were attending a 24 hour Martha Stewart festival. Now, the professional women who are genuine, authentic, intelligent, DOWN TO EARTH, affectionate, caring, nurturing, supportive and fun to be with…that’s an irresistible combination in my view! Heck, ANY woman with those qualities is worth keeping! Who wants to date a woman who doesn’t know when to turn it off? Leave the schmoozing, manipulating, ego stroking, best-foot-foward tactics at the office and try to connect as a real person. This is a skill that many successful, strong, intelligent women have not mastered. For this reason a lot of guys date economically disadvataged and sometimes uneducated women, many of them immigrants. Why?.. becuase what’s important to them are the values and principles concerning relationships they bring to the table. Most people who do not know me well, when they observe this they think that it is because I prefer subservient women whom I can control and manipulate easily. Not so! I just realized they if what is most important to me in a relationship is warmth, caring, sensitivity, well defined roles, etc., that I need to look at the real person, not their financial achievments and professional skills. Here’s a thought: Could it be that many highly educated, intelligent, successful people be emotionally ignorant?

In the final analysis the size of the pocketbook, the position in the boardroom, the model of the car does absolutely nothing to make a woman appealing. Is she fun? Does she let her hair down? Is she open to actually getting her jeans dirty during a vigorous, picturesque hike? Does she relish it when I play with her hair, or moan it’s no longer perfect? Does she set aside some time to actually listen to me, or is she answering her email, texts and cell phone calls constantly? Is she affectionate, or is she always in professional form even when away from the office? Is she secure enough in herself to date men who may not fit her “ideal” as far as their own professional stature, weight, height, etc., is concerned, or does she limit her choices to men with very narrow external preferences? Is she open to more than the missionary position and mind blowing oral sex and great fun in bed, or mechanical and routine? Will she at least pretend she loves giving oral sex and moan every once in awhile, or is she real quiet and making it obvious it’s a chore? Can she handle it when I am being just a guy, or judgmental on every small detail? Is she incessantly reminding me about my flaws, or actually gets a kick out of them? Does she realize sex is a great way to get intimate with a man, even through we know intimacy is a great way for a man to have sex with a woman, but will indulge me nevertheless since sex is on our minds 23.99 hours of the day? Is she on a constant search for clothes and material improvement, or will she actually attend an event with me she may not like?

Any time I hear a woman say that she thinks that she “intimidates” men due to her education, career, demeanor or looks I can immediately pick out at least 5 other, more tangible, reasons for why she has a hard time connecting with men.Hear this: Men are NOT intimidated by a strong, independent, successful and/or outspoken. They are, however, completely turned off by a ball buster. Many women failt to see that line between being outgoing and aggressive, confident and arrogant, outspoken and opinionated.

The key to any good relationship is a willingness to be vulnerable and to submit. It’s the key to flirting. Somebody has to lead or else you’ll both be stepping on each other’s toes throughout the whole song. There’s a reason why two magnets, when positioned the same way directly at each other, repel and why, if you turn one of the magnets 180 degrees, they click.Women with a distinctive male energy often confuse men. Sure, they can visually see she’s a female, but all of her non-verbal cues (posture, facial expressions, tone of voice) are distinctly male. That confuses the male brain and can trick the brain into treating you and “seeing” you as a male. The same can be said for women when dealing with a “nice guy.” They’re “seeing” his female energy – the submissive, demure, vulnerable part of him. That’s why they’re not attracted to them.

You’re undoubtedly a great catch. You can teach us a thing or two. You are a go-getter and worthy of everyone’s respect. But if that go-getter side ends up emasculating your man, or makes him feel insignificant, or second-guessed, he’s not really getting what he wants out of a partner. Men want to feel masculine. . This doesn’t mean you should play dumb, or be weak and needy, no more than the nice guy should start acting like a jackass. It might mean, however, turning off some of the things that make you “successful” at work. This is a bitter pill to swallow, perhaps even a double standard. Still, it doesn’t change the fact that “hard-driving, opinionated, and meticulous” are not on most men’s lists of ideal feminine traits.

It’s not a matter of giving anything up, or altering who you are in any fundamental way. It’s a matter of accepting that “He wants to be the boy” on dates, and letting him, for the sake of nurturing that spark that’s so critical to success in romantic relationships. If you want to go on “being the man” regardless, hey — more power to ya. Date guys who are dreamers and have no drive, who like to nest and pick out wallpaper (or sit home and drink all day and watch sports on T.V. instead of working for a living). They will savor be taken care of while you go out and slay those dragons to put meat on the table. If you truly are a masculine energy woman, things should work out great. If not… at some point you will burn out, feel drained and start resenting your man for not slaying a few damn dragons himself once in a while. Yes, you can kill your own spiders in the bathroom at 3 a.m., you’ve done it forever, but doggone it, wouldn’t it be nice if someone ELSE took over sometimes? Unfortunately, that’s the point at which conflict starts… it’s not what either of you signed up for, so you both wind up miserable.

You need to look at what you are saying. You want to be smart and driven and have a career, which is fine. You want a man who is smart and driven and has a career. This is fine too.The problem is you want both of these things. Putting two smart successful driven people together is like putting two alpha dogs in a cage. They are not going to get along. If one of the people in a relationship is a rock, the other has to be softer, or the relationship wont work.Women always write off men who are gentle and nurturing. Always. Do most men want to be the leader?  Yes.  Why?  They saw this work for their parents and grandparents.  But what about it worked? First, my father and grandfathers were not tyrants.  It was not their way or the highway.  They did not even reserve the position of calling the shots in every situation.

A good example.  I was dating a girl who was more than willing to allow me to lead in most situations.  I like to go to garage sales, but rarely do it.  However, she was a pro at it.  So when she said she wanted to do it, we made plans and early that morning, I cooked breakfast while she made a list of places to go and mapped it out on google maps.  When we walked out to my truck, i handed her the keys and said, “Lead the way.”  It was early in the relationship and so I am sure she was not totally sure what to expect from me, so she was a bit surprised, and i could see that that one little thing made her happy.  It’s called respect.  She felt respected and appreciated for what she brought to the table.  Do you think a man won’t react the same way?  Nobody says you have to stay with a tyrant, and in fact, every sane man on this site would tell you to get away from a tyrant.  I won’t live with a woman who is. Guys like myself want one part of their life where we don’t have to compete.  Men are sick and tired of relationships being power struggles.  Every woman I was in a relationship with who said they wanted it to be an equal partnership, it always felt like a power struggle.  In every case, it was her way or the highway.  If she ever relented and allowed me to have my way, I was made to pay dearly for it.  And it was also held over my head constantly.  No thank you.  It simply works better when one person is the default leader,but is also kind and loving in doing so, and is also wise enough to understand when it is better to temporarily relinquish that position.The point is, just because you give up that responsibility and put it on the man, and he turns out to be abusive in that role, you do not have to stay with him.  If men were consistently being given that opportunity, they would rise to the challenge. 

FROM A FAN: DATING IS BAD FOR WOMAN AS WELL

I have spent a lot of time being both incredibly admired and incredibly lonely. In my lifetime I have never had a man pursue me or ask me on a date. I have always been the initiator. Contrast that to the fact that most people in my life have in some way, shape, or form told me I was attractive. The argument therefore goes that men are intimidated by me and thus do not ask me out. Heard that one more times than I count – “You are intelligent, strong, beautiful, sexy, and successful – that is scary to men.” In my head, I call bull every time and finally I decided to take it out of my head and into reality. I asked my friends just to be truthful with me – tell me I am hideous or stink, or whatever it is that is proving a man repellant. To that, they invariably repeat, “You are intelligent, strong, beautiful, sexy, and successful – that is scary to men.”

The funny thing is, it really doesn’t make a darned bit of difference. I could be stinky, disgusting, and hideous, or I could be gorgeous, awesome, and intimidating. The net effect to me is the same. I am alone. I will readily admit before I am asked, that yes – I can get laid. And I have. When the loneliness is too much and I am craving human touch to feel like I even exist, there are any number of men willing to step in and give me an evening of…human touch. Some of them have even mastered making it feel meaningful despite their intent to go home and forget I ever existed until the next time I am so desperate that any human contact will do…and I call.

So why am I writing to you? Because many of you think this is proof that women have it easier than you. I want you to know that there are women like me that don’t post because you think this. Instead, we sit and internalize. We wonder why if we are supposed to have it so easy there is no one there. We wonder if this means we are defective and why we don’t experience the life so many assume we have. 

And we also know that if we show our desperation and despair we will either be called out by some of the guys here who think we should be happy because we can get laid, or even more painful – demonized by the stronger better versions of ourselves that post here telling us to suck it up and say “Next” when the men we want don’t want us back.

Honestly, I wish I was that woman. I wish I had the strength of character that several of the strong female posters here have to not let the constant loneliness tear me apart. Or at least that I possessed the ability to enjoy a one night stand as so many men seem to think would make it all better. As it stands, I spend my life devoid of intimate male contact until the pain of being alone trumps the inevitable pain I know I will experience when my lover for the night decides never to call me again. Here me – I do actually know that will happen – I am not stupid or deluded by the players. I know each time I engage in "sex with the ex" that it will not change a damned thing about him not wanting me as anything more than a booty call. So when I do call, it is because the pain of loneliness in the present moment has overcome the pain of what I know the next day will bring.

I just hoped it would finally dawn on some of the men here that being a single woman is not a cake walk - that we are lonely and hurting and desperate. Yes, I said it. I admit it. I am desperate…and afraid. This is what drives me to do the things you all call stupid and silly. Unfortunately, each time I give in to the pain for momentary surcease, I am simply reminded that I am and will only ever be - a phuk. I am also posting for the other women who might feel as I do, that they must be broken or worthless because no one seems to want to love them...and are too afraid to admit that frankly, they do need it to feel complete. We do need to be held, and cherished, and adored but somehow our society has warped this into embarrassment and shame. 

I am standing up and confessing, I am not immune to the desire and the need for connection - connection with a man.I mentioned earlier that I had as of late been on a mission to understand why I was not loved or chased, even though I do get admired. I actually did finally get my answer. It came in the form of a candid friend/lover when I asked him directly to tell me why I wasn’t loved or apparently why I could never be loved. To his credit, as uncomfortable as it might have been for him, he looked me dead in the eyes and finally told me the truth, a truth so many others have danced around and in doing so, confirmed a thought I had begun to form. I am, as I stand today, actually unlovable. 

All my life I have been taught to be strong, to be confident, and to succeed in a man’s world and how to not bend in the face of adversity so that I could do so. And truly – I am that...and I have succeeded in a career dominated by the boys club. Unfortunately, the very traits that have made me successful have also doomed me to a lifetime without love. My friend/lover told me that it is evident to all the men in my circle that I have a “sword and shield” at the ready at all times – and while they respect it, admire it, and yield to it, they will not love it. 

In other words, I am, for all intents and purposes, a man. Since I am attractive and by appearance female, they can get past this long enough to sleep with me, but they will never be inspired to be with me, to champion me, to love me...as that, my sword and shield will handle without them.

Meanwhile, after periods of celibacy and no human touch, I turn in desperation to a single night. A night that yes I can have with many or perhaps any of them. A night that provides a momentary salve to the pain of loneliness but then adds molten silver to the sword and shield I will inevitably carry the next day.

I guess my point to my single brethren is – never assume. Never assume the single (even if hot) girl is not desperate. Never assume that she dates continuously and simply picks and chooses between the men throwing themselves at her feet. For every assumption you make, I guarantee there is at least one counterpoint in the form of a woman like me. One who feels the loneliness you feel and doesn’t post for fear of being picked apart – either because she can “at least get laid” or because she knows her sistren will tell her “ to buck up and not need a man for happiness” – which when done, simply adds to the self-perpetuating shield that causes her to never have the love for which she actually yearns.

I am tired of being quiet. I am tired of being misunderstood. I am tired of not admitting that I need to be seen, to be loved, to be cherished. I am tired of living a life where I am lauded for my strength and in parallel missing out on the one thing I want most. All of my matched up girlfriends tell me how great they think I am and wish they had my strength. Then they go home to the men that adore them and I go home to my dog and a computer screen. So yes, I can get laid, and yes I am just as desperate as the men here that can’t. So we have come full circle. Assumptions about the easy life of at least one single woman are both completely true, and completely ridiculous.

DATING:HERE IS WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ALL THE GOOD MEN

So what we have learned, is that women who poses all of the power and sexual currency, are actually pretty horrendous human beings on top of it? Shocking.

The divorce rates are as higher as ever and largely initiated by women, and not for abuse of infidelity, but frivolous reasons. They cna and do simply move on to the next guy, or simply live content to be alone, which they are generally much better at doing, especially when there reproductive capacity is quite over.

We are now finding studies which also show that women are now cheating more than men as well. So we have a population of entitled women with ever expanding lists of expectations who feel no shame in ruining a generation of men.

Women are shocked to find that men become bitter, and simply don’t bother anymore, and therefor they shouldn’t be shocked with not getting picked. Well, it turns out they have real reasons for said bitterness, because of what your fellow women have done to them. Sure there are exceptions on both sides, but the data is in.

Women want alpha males, and they also are more shallow and cheat more. Awesome. What we also find, is that men are far far far more forgiving about income and “acheivement”. As if having a peice of paper that says you know how to be taught what to think and take tests from a school is a sign of intelligence.  Surveys and studies have shown successful men like and in many cases seek out women of lesser means, as they tend to not be ball busting  “ambitious/driven” women who obsess over careerism, money, and superficiality.

We find that even the most liberal ball busting lefty left feminists who espouse how they are fine if there man makes less, or isn’t in some fancy job, will often feel bitter, resentful, or unattracted  over time and leave or cheat on said man. The double standard is intense.

Women are valued for who they are, men are valued for what they can do, their utility, essentially. Men make up the majority of the homeless now, and have a 4-6x time rate of suicide, which comes as no surprise really given the societal shift that has happened. If you take an equally unattractive woman and man and put them in a public space long enough, the woman will always, ALWAYS, get more suitors than the guy. Please tell me how that’s fair.

It has and always will be an uphill battle for men, especially in an economy and culture that has so eviscerated everything that it means to be a guy. Men have become disposable and marginalized, and women have become entitled and narcissistic.

If you are ever wondering what happened to the good men? What happened to them especially as they age? You need not look to them for your cause, look at your fellow ladies who ruined them for you. The data doesn’t lie.

WOMAN ARE JUT CRAZY

Do you want to remain single or be in a relationship? Do you want to start a family and have kids or do you still want to hang out with your friends? Do you want to be loved and treated well or do you want to keep giving and get nothing back? It all up to you. Most woman take the latter.Weird..isn't it? I think so. They are holding out for what?  I could have kids until i am in my 80s, most woman have until 37, but they don't get it. We live in crazy times. 

I read — and have read — A LOT of women’s profiles — and most women seem to be describing — in terms of looks — the SAME guy — a very George Clooney / Jon Hamm type guy — 6 feet plus, head of hair (no matter what age), athletic, handsome (“I want to feel goosebumps when he walks into a room” etc.).I live on the Westside of LA and I rarely, rarely see any guys who come close to that type — I just came back from NYC and didn’t see any guys who looked like that“women rate 80% of all men as below average-looking” shows women as pretty brainless – dumb chicks cannot even divide 100 by 2 without getting an 80 – so on the surface, it is easy to laugh off.

Maybe something’s just wrong with me? Generally speaking, if someone is interested in me and seems to have enough in common with me (in terms of future plans, beliefs, morals, et al), I’ll go out with her. I’ve never turned someone down for a date unless the woman made me feel uncomfortable, initially (and maybe that wasn’t fair of me, I’ll admit).

None of the woman I’ve dated look anything like one another, as I’m not so much interested in a “look” or a “type” as I am who they are. I’d rather be with a good hearted, fun loving, respectful caring woman — and ifs he happens to be a 9 or 10, whatever. I’m not all that pressed. 

THOUGHTS; TAMING OF THE SHREW

Getting a girlfriend is not hard: you just ask girls out, and eventually one of them says yes. And if she doesn’t work out, then you move on, because she’s just a girl and they make plenty of those.Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew has been loved for generations because it gives hope to both sexes. Petruchio was greedy and selfish, and Katherine was ugly and had a terrible personality, but by the end of it all, they had both found a deeper appreciation for each other than any of the other characters who were acting on their passions (Lucentio) or desperation (Hortensio).
Not only did they fall deeply in love with each other, but they finally gained respect from their peers. Think about it: Katherine, the most miserable harpy in English literature, was admired, lauded, and radically happy after spending only a few days with the first man she ever met who didn’t try to coddle or appease her.

Women want to possessed by a man. It is in their nature to be unable to articulate what they really want, but frankly it should be obvious to the menfolk who by nature are expected to lead. If American Jane can be manipulated by faceless propaganda, how much more so by a man whom she is absolutely in love with and could not imagine her life without? Everyone wants to get laid in a way that isn’t desperate and miserable, so put a higher value on your sex

THOUGHT: LIVING RIGHT NOW

"What if a demon were to creep after you one night, in your loneliest loneliness, and say, 'This life which you live must be lived by you once again and innumerable times more; and every pain and joy and thought and sigh must come again to you, all in the same sequence. The eternal hourglass will again and again be turned and you with it, dust of the dust!' Would you throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse that demon? Or would you answer, 'Never have I heard anything more divine'?"
-Friedrich Nietzsche
I only get this one life.

That's a profound realization. More than it sounds like, because it sounds like a cliche. But to really absorb and internalize that fact is soul-numbingly powerful.

When you give up on (or never had) the typical religious conception of an afterlife, of immortality, you are forced to confront the great fact of human existence in a way humans have tried to escape since they invented religion. We will not be around forever. Our days are numbered, our seconds ticking.

At first this seems such a frightening prospect. It goes so counter to our normal paradigm, the way we plan our life and put things off and wait for things to happen to us before reacting to them. We have been trained by the deepest threads of our cultural tapestry to be inert, because our culture has ignored this one deep fact of our mortality and tried to sell us on infinity.

But if infinity exists, it is not the eternity of a Heaven or a Hell. Those, those things are time extended to the horizon. That is not infinity. If there is an infinity, it is a timelessness, it is escaping the trap of time altogether, not extending it indefinitely. Someone else has better worded what I'm trying to get at here:

"The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough."
-Rabindranath Tagore
If you truly live in the present, in the moment, you can escape time and reach the infinite in a completely different way than that offered by religious afterlife. You do not need an unending extension of time to live fully, indeed to live infinitely.

If you try to live forever, then you just end up taking the moments for granted because, hell, there is always more time, right? But if instead you try to live in the moment, you find forever is always right there.

Tomorrow -- what an odd concept, for it never actually comes. We sleep, and when we open our eyes the calendar signals a different weekday but here we are still in *today*, in the *present*. The moment is all we ever have and all we ever will have. And when you accept that, I think you stop taking it for granted and start to open yourself to the awesome potential of each and every second.

"The way of awakening and freedom requires that we ask ourselves, with all of the earnestness, honesty, and humility at our command, just this one fundamental question: 'Am I willing to live this moment with as much attention and affection as possible, or am I going to do something else?'"
-Scott Morrison
What it comes down to in the end is not, I hope, merely some abstract philosophical insight about some larger view of life, an attempt to solve some existential crisis. Hell no. It is more concrete and visceral than that. What this stuff boils down to is that one life really is enough, and all we have to do to realize and absorb that fact is to accept that the future (finite or infinite) will never come, but only the present, only the moment will ever confront us. And that leaves us here and now, in this moment, in every moment, with no choice but to LIVE it.

For when this lesson sets it, I think a person can't help but live. It no longer becomes a conscious choice but irrevocably alters the way you perceive and intersect the world. Instead of waiting through time for the world to do something, and merely reacting to it, always reacting...instead you *act*. It is to become a subject rather than an object.

No fear can ever hold a person living in the infinity of the moment. What is fear to *that*?! Why waste a moment, any moment, with worry about what could go wrong? There's no reason to let that worry hold you back from doing what your heart, what your deepest self, is dying living to do!

"We must assume our existence as broadly as we in any way can; everything, even the unheard-of, must be possible in it. This is at bottom the only courage that is demanded of us: to have courage for the most strange, the most inexplicable."
--Rainer Maria Rilke