Look. I don’t know what you’re over there thinking about. It could be simple or sophisticated, mundane or whimsical, practical or creepy. But I’m over here thinking a
Is it my imagination, or are women, generally speaking, much more likely than men to expect some sort of lightning or magic on a first date for them to consider going on a 2nd date? I’m talking about chemistry, which everyone wants some sort of overwhelming emotional response that causes “butterflies,” etc.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard women say that they had a nice first date with so and so, but there were no butterflies, no shooting stars, and therefore they have turned down a request for a 2nd date. I find this a bit difficult to comprehend, because I personally never expect to see shooting stars on a first date. And if I do see stars on a first date, I push them aside because experience has taught me that in most cases those stars were just a temporary thing and my first impression of a woman from just one date is always incomplete. I mean, a first date is not the real world, it’s not the way people usually are most of the time. If nothing else, both parties are usually a bit nervous and on their best behavior, so you don’t get to know the real them. (I start feeling butterflies after a few dates, when I get a more complete picture of the woman, and I like the picture that is emerging.)
First-date sparks don’t portend a future relationship.we spend our lives looking for that intense one-of-a-kind chemistry with a partner, it’s actually BAD for your relationship. We are simply not at our best when we’re crazy about someone. We become insecure and weak and needy and yes, somewhat crazy, in the presence of chemistry. What happens when you find yourself incredibly attracted to a someone? Well, there’s the feeling of chemistry and everything that comes along with it – the obsessive highs that come with wanting to be with her, the joy of feeling incredibly connected, and, what you may forget, the willful blindness that allows you to overlook her flaws.That’s one of the most miraculous things about chemistry: it allows you to focus only on the good and ignore all the bad.
If you were an average woman, you’d be able to be with an average man and be content. Since you’re an above average woman – smart, strong, successful – your standards are going to go up accordingly.So if, by your standards, 95% of men are the WRONG men, it makes it that much harder to find ANY guy to date, and makes each new man who does qualify seem all the more important. Once a guy passes through your strong chemistry filter, he’s in.By this point, you’ve forgotten the rule of chemistry: it allows you to focus only on the good and ignore all the bad. Which is why you can have incredible chemistry and end up in a TERRIBLE relationship, where he doesn’t call you, doesn’t compliment you, doesn’t make you feel safe, and doesn’t commit to you.But you stick around because of how strong your rare FEELINGS are. You’ve now discovered the real secret to why you’re in dead end relationships:You don’t attract the wrong men, you accept the wrong men.
I am looking to marry a girl that can lead a quiet life with me. All I do is work and come home
I believe people should be more compatible with each other rather than have a lot of chemistry at first. I know ore females prefer chemistry but people who are compatible can develop good chemistry as time goes on. People who are not compatible who have good chemistry at the start will later find problems in their relationship.
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