MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE: THOUGHTS: I AM NOT PERFECT

Thursday, April 3, 2014

THOUGHTS: I AM NOT PERFECT

As I have spent the day reflecting on my life and the choices that I have made and the things that have happened in my life I laugh when people tell me that they think I am perfect because NO ONE is but especially me. I am the first to throw myself under the bus and take great ownership over my imperfections…….I also cry my eyes out when I have people tell me that I am fake and not sincere….everything I do is done out of nothing but pure love and service. This work is my life…it is my calling…and I love it so deeply….

People think that they know me. People assume that because they read the things that I write, that they “like” pictures that I post or that they have read snips and clips of my story that they know me, know what my life is about, know what is best for me, what my limits are, what my boundaries are, what my marriage was like, and when I got divorced what my adoption journey is like……that I have it all together and I am not allowed a moment….it is like I am being watched…….people just waiting for me to screw up…..for the other shoe to drop so they can jump out and say SEE I TOLD YOU HE ISN’T PERFECT. HE ISN’T WHAT YOU THOUGHT…..

Well let me save you the time and energy so that you can move on to something more important and more exciting…I am not perfect. I am sure I am not what you thought. I am a mess. My life is a mess, chaos personified. I have never claimed to be anything but who I am….and guess what….I LOVE my messy, imperfect!

There is always going to be someone that hates everything about you…..no matter how true your heart is, no matter how generous, no matter how beautiful, no matter how faithful, no matter how ANYTHING…..we can’t please everyone! In fact….we can please very few so why not give our best to those we love the most, that truly know us and love us IN SPITE of all the things that we hate about ourselves……all the things that the world views as imperfect….all the things that others are using against us???

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MY DREAM

Maybe I am silly for thinking that my words will touch someone's heart. And what she was reading was something much more special than what she normally read. She is looking into the soul of her soulmate. She had never felt this way before! Somehow every word seemed to touch her heart. She felt a harmony between something in her heart, and those sweet powerful words. To her it seemed every letter carried so much wonder, exhibited by every sentence, and such a refreshing ravishing food communicated, that she could not stop reading. Excited by these developments, She wants to know more about me and immediately sent me a message. Her love had arrived at her tower. She just needed to throw down her hair and I would climb to to her. She would find me amazing. And over the next few weeks of talking to me ..she has fell deeper in love. My intellect, my enlightened self, my sense of humor and even my perverted side touched her. We decided to met. Seeing her in person made my stomach ache with butterflies on kamikaze missions. She was so beautiful and humble. Her smile made my heart melt at its genuine sincerity.That night as she lay on bed sleeping. Her innocent demeanor caught my attention. She was so real. So genuine. Where had she been all my life? It was in that moment that I would realized something. I had gained something so much more through this journey. I had found a friend. I had found a true friend and partner that was beyond sex, it was beyond her amazing body. We had something much more special. We had a connection that was real, pure and grounded in emotion.

When I typed those very first words,how could we have possibly known. My words would bring us so close,and this beautiful love would be sown. Words from a beautiful strangers made their way into your hearts.Then words became words of love, with hopes and dreams to impart.

How can you fall so much in love, with someone who you haven't met? Because it is the words which reveal the heart of a person you are reading. My words made it so easy for you, for your heart and soul to perceive.And when love is based on words only, falling in love isn't so hard to conceive. You didn't need to see a picture of me, or to even hear the sound of my voice. As it is the person who I am is inside, which made you my dreams only choice.

Our hearts traveled towards each other, and bridged the gap between the miles.There is no distance between two hearts, when it's your love that the bridge compiles.

The things is at the very beginning of any online relationship, it is only my words that can make an effect on you. No physical contact, no voices, no scents – only the words that I write that will connect you to me until the two of us make a step forward to seeing each other in the real life. It is only with an open and incautious heart that you will allow my words to enter your soul and let yourself to fall in love with me.

One glance at my words and you’re inside my mind,,,, and across the internet ,I am speaking clearly and silently inside your head, directly to you. Binding together people who never knew each other between time and space. This proof that words are capable of working magic and maybe my words will open your heart.

Every time she read my post, it was like I was courting her, because sometimes, just sometimes, she would fall in love with me again, and that's the most wonderful feeling in the world. How many people are ever given that chance? To have someone you love fall in love with you over and over?

MY MISSION STATEMENT

My mission in life is to live with integrity. I want to deepen my understanding of myself through self-awareness in order to overcome my personal fears. There is no security in possessions, money, house, job, or women. There is a different kind of security worth pursuing, and that is this internal security of trusting yourself to handle anything that may come down the pipe. Things can break down, you can lose your money, house or job, but you, you can be a rock of self-esteem. I want to live in the place I belong, with the people I love, doing the right work on purpose. I want to be the messager of gratitude. Please bring about people, places, & events necessary to use me in bring about the highest experience of you to everyone.

Personal:
1-Trust my judgment
2-Overcome fear of loss
3-Security is knowing I am able to handle anything
4-letting go of perfection
5-Listen to audio tape
6-Mirror exercise

Professional:
1-Be a excellent doctor
2-Get a book published
3-Apply for a new career job
4-Start a company

Relationship:
1-Singe, slim, professional, spiritual women
2-Generous, not controlling, giving, sexual women

Family:
1-Listen more, Talk less (reflect feeling)
2-More patience
3-Always end with “I love you”
4-Don't get angry

Spiritual:
1-Mediate/ Listen to audiotapes
2-Read books

Health:
1-Exercise
2-Yoga
3-Drink water
4-Mediate

Financially:
1-invest in stock/ money market

•This is the way it is, for now.

•This was my destiny, ordained by the universe with compassion and wisdom.

•Everything happens for a reason.

•Everything is as it should be.

•It is what it is.

MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE

Thursday, April 3, 2014

THOUGHTS: I AM NOT PERFECT

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