As I have spent the day reflecting on my life and the choices that I have made and the things that have happened in my life I laugh when people tell me that they think I am perfect because NO ONE is but especially me. I am the first to throw myself under the bus and take great ownership over my imperfections…….I also cry my eyes out when I have people tell me that I am fake and not sincere….everything I do is done out of nothing but pure love and service. This work is my life…it is my calling…and I love it so deeply….
People think that they know me. People assume that because they read the things that I write, that they “like” pictures that I post or that they have read snips and clips of my story that they know me, know what my life is about, know what is best for me, what my limits are, what my boundaries are, what my marriage was like, and when I got divorced what my adoption journey is like……that I have it all together and I am not allowed a moment….it is like I am being watched…….people just waiting for me to screw up…..for the other shoe to drop so they can jump out and say SEE I TOLD YOU HE ISN’T PERFECT. HE ISN’T WHAT YOU THOUGHT…..
Well let me save you the time and energy so that you can move on to something more important and more exciting…I am not perfect. I am sure I am not what you thought. I am a mess. My life is a mess, chaos personified. I have never claimed to be anything but who I am….and guess what….I LOVE my messy, imperfect!
There is always going to be someone that hates everything about you…..no matter how true your heart is, no matter how generous, no matter how beautiful, no matter how faithful, no matter how ANYTHING…..we can’t please everyone! In fact….we can please very few so why not give our best to those we love the most, that truly know us and love us IN SPITE of all the things that we hate about ourselves……all the things that the world views as imperfect….all the things that others are using against us???
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