First off, I must declare that I am not a serial killer. Nor am I, by any stretch of the imagination, ugly. Though, if you walked into a crowded club, I might not be the first one you’d grind on, or the second for that matter. In fact, I would very likely stand in the corner all night checking my phone and wondering why I even bothered to leave my Netflix queue unattended.
Still, despite being (completely?) sane and of slightly above average attractiveness, I’m single.
I don’t know where you live, but I’m pretty sure there are no castles around here for you to lock yourself in with a dragon so I can finally meet you.... Not to mention that such a feat would undeniably cause me to miss my early Monday morning meeting, as the traffic from Happily Ever After would be dreadful, I’m sure.
So, due to lack of castles, I’ve had to settle for a more modern approach to searching for Princess...ONLINE. So, if the movies, books and songs are so right, how come when we find the one, we can still feel like we're missing something? Why are there married people who are lonely with an emptiness that marriage can't fill? Our hearts can get confused if our reality doesn't match fantasy and we wonder:
I understand that dating can be hard, even maddeningly frustrating. It takes time and commitment, and online dating is no different. You’re going to have a lot of false starts and connections that seem to start wonderfully and then trail off for no apparent reason. Dating is a lot like the lottery. You hope that fate will guide you to THAT ONE SPOT you need to be AT THAT VERY SPECIFIC TIME in order to meet that special someone. It's no different real life as it online. I know that I am handsome,successful,and kind single man looking for Ms. Right.
One day you meet someone and for some inexplicable reason, you feel more connected to this stranger than anyone else--closer to them than your closest family. Perhaps this person carries within them an angel--one sent to you for some higher purpose; to teach you an important lesson or to keep you safe during a perilous time. What you must do is trust in them--even if they come hand in hand with pain or suffering--the reason for their presence will become clear in due time
I am single right now because I am tired of wasting time with women who won’t make a commitment to me. I am totally frustrated with the dating scene. Scared to date again because the last "Dream Woman" turned out to be a nightmare. And I'm not just going to throw yourself at a woman just to get her attention and beside..i just don't have the time to date so many people.I can guarantee you with every fiber of my being, I am not desperate. I will met only someone who I feel is worth the time away from my day to day, my friends, my career, my work out schedule, etc.
Do you want to date jerk after jerk after scum bag that makes you unhappy so all you know is what a failed relationship looks like, or do you want to learn how to build respectful, nurturing relationships? Do you want practice picking up players and cheaters, or do you want to get good at finding nice guys that will treat you right? Do you want to be so heartbroken that you give up on love completely or do you want to someday look back at all your past relationships and have no regret?
Somehow, out of all the twists and turns our lives could have been, and out of all the chances we might have missed, it almost seems like we were given a meant - to - be moment - to meet, to get to know each other, and to set the stage for a special togetherness.
If you have never loved or been loved, you won’t understand or relate to what I am going to share. If you have then maybe you might understand the way I feel or not. And maybe you have felt this way before or maybe not. The things is at the very beginning of any online relationship, it is only my words that can make an effect on you. No physical contact, no voices, no scents – only the words that I write that will connect you to me until the two of us make a step forward to seeing each other in the real life. It is only with an open and incautious heart that you will allow my words to enter your soul and let yourself to fall in love with me.
Your feelings of aloneness dissolve as you realize that you are “all one” with all things and that you are profoundly connected with everyone. At the deepest level everything and everyone is your soul mate. All of life is the One Source manifesting as a multiplicity of form. The person behind these words right now is giving you the opportunity to open your heart more fully, heal more deeply, and love more freely.
From the very beginning from reading my words...i hope that you will experience a profound empathy and compassion for me and you will voluntarily let your guard down. You will feel as safe as if you had entered an extraordinary comfort zone where it is not necessary to play mind games or word games. You knowingly strip away any defenses you have created around yourself and let me feel your soul.
I am not perfect by a long shot but I am hoping that I may be perfect for you. I could fill this little space with loves and hates but what would we have to talk about over coffee? If you turn the page now we may have both just lost something meaningful. Write me something and lets see where it goes from there. What have we got to lose? except possibly a life with someone you enjoy. For me...I would like to meet my best friend, Because...If you don't fall in love with your best friend, You always think there could be better.
I'm not your pen pal. I'm not your back up plan. There's a reason why I have shades in my pictures here, but it's not because I am unattractive...its because of privacy.
You should message me if you enjoy good morning texts and goodnight phone calls. You are educated and financially stable
You really are the type of person that you say you are, instead of claiming that you're the person that you want to be.
You don't complain about hating the way people treat others, when in fact you're the person who does everything you claim to hate.
You call me when you say you're going to call me
You follow through with everything you tell me
You don't tell me things just because you think it's what I wants to hear just to make yourself look good.
You're straight forward and honest
REPEAT
Men have a very fair assessment of women’s overall attractiveness. Like in a normal bell curve, 5% of the women were found to be the least attractive and 5% were found to be the most attractive, with most women falling in the middle 90%.
It’s women, not men, who have unrealistic standards for the “average” member of the opposite sex.Women, on the other hand, rate 80% of men as below average.Let me repeat: It’s women, not men, who have unrealistic standards for the “average” member of the opposite sex.
It's a stark realization when you see just how few men woman even find to be average looking.
I read — and have read — A LOT of women’s profiles — and most women seem to be describing — in terms of looks — the SAME guy — a very George Clooney / Jon Hamm type guy — 6 feet plus, head of hair (no matter what age), athletic, handsome (“I want to feel goosebumps when he walks into a room” etc.).
I have lived on the upper west side and I rarely, rarely see any guys who come close to that type — I moved to Long Island and didn’t see any guys who looked like that…. I went on vacation in Florida and there was only ONE guy I saw who look like what most woman want.
But don’t get me wrong I am quite realistic about the kind of woman I can attract. On one particular dating site, you have the option of having your pictures evaluated by other members, where you are rated on a scale of 1-10 in terms of looks. I thought what to heck — let them rate me. And as I remembered, my average rating was a 7.8, according to the others members.
Maybe something’s just wrong with me? Generally speaking, if someone is interested in me and seems to have enough in common with me (in terms of future plans, beliefs, morals, et al), I’ll go out with her.
None of the woman I’ve dated look anything like one another, as I’m not so much interested in a “look” or a “type” as I am who they are. A lot of my guy friends will wonder why I’m with a woman because they’ll think she is “unattractive” or “not in my league.” But a woman’s looks haven’t ever been the top attribute I seek when searching for a partner.
When it comes to being too picky. The main reasons I rate so many people poorly are the following, in roughly descending order of importance/frequency:
Profile writing quality is poor (proxy for “low intelligence”)
Profile too short (< 400 words)
Obese
Single mother
Not a college graduate
I’m more of the guy next door type, so I’d rather be with a good hearted, fun loving, respectful caring woman — and if she happens to be a 9 or 10, whatever. I’m not all that pressed. My past girlfriend makes me laugh constantly and treats me well. Because of those reasons, she’s sexy to me. Isn’t that all that matters? I also realize that the attraction won’t be based just on looks; I’ve gotta have the whole package! So, in my world, average-looking woman who seem intelligent and show themselves to have the important qualities like loyalty and integrity quickly become a 10.
I write not to the women whom I think are in the “top 10%” (or 5% or 20% or whatever), but instead to the women whom I find attractive going from their profiles (and who, I think from looking at their preferences, might go for me). I’m not positive how all the other men rate the women I write to, but I do hope that I am able to outshine the competition and get the attention of these women.
You should message me if you enjoy good morning texts and goodnight phone calls. You are educated and financially stable
You really are the type of person that you say you are, instead of claiming that you're the person that you want to be.
You don't complain about hating the way people treat others, when in fact you're the person who does everything you claim to hate.
You call me when you say you're going to call me
You follow through with everything you tell me
You don't tell me things just because you think it's what I wants to hear just to make yourself look good.
You're straight forward and honest
REPEAT
Men have a very fair assessment of women’s overall attractiveness. Like in a normal bell curve, 5% of the women were found to be the least attractive and 5% were found to be the most attractive, with most women falling in the middle 90%.
It’s women, not men, who have unrealistic standards for the “average” member of the opposite sex.Women, on the other hand, rate 80% of men as below average.Let me repeat: It’s women, not men, who have unrealistic standards for the “average” member of the opposite sex.
It's a stark realization when you see just how few men woman even find to be average looking.
I read — and have read — A LOT of women’s profiles — and most women seem to be describing — in terms of looks — the SAME guy — a very George Clooney / Jon Hamm type guy — 6 feet plus, head of hair (no matter what age), athletic, handsome (“I want to feel goosebumps when he walks into a room” etc.).
I have lived on the upper west side and I rarely, rarely see any guys who come close to that type — I moved to Long Island and didn’t see any guys who looked like that…. I went on vacation in Florida and there was only ONE guy I saw who look like what most woman want.
But don’t get me wrong I am quite realistic about the kind of woman I can attract. On one particular dating site, you have the option of having your pictures evaluated by other members, where you are rated on a scale of 1-10 in terms of looks. I thought what to heck — let them rate me. And as I remembered, my average rating was a 7.8, according to the others members.
Maybe something’s just wrong with me? Generally speaking, if someone is interested in me and seems to have enough in common with me (in terms of future plans, beliefs, morals, et al), I’ll go out with her.
None of the woman I’ve dated look anything like one another, as I’m not so much interested in a “look” or a “type” as I am who they are. A lot of my guy friends will wonder why I’m with a woman because they’ll think she is “unattractive” or “not in my league.” But a woman’s looks haven’t ever been the top attribute I seek when searching for a partner.
When it comes to being too picky. The main reasons I rate so many people poorly are the following, in roughly descending order of importance/frequency:
Profile writing quality is poor (proxy for “low intelligence”)
Profile too short (< 400 words)
Obese
Single mother
Not a college graduate
I’m more of the guy next door type, so I’d rather be with a good hearted, fun loving, respectful caring woman — and if she happens to be a 9 or 10, whatever. I’m not all that pressed. My past girlfriend makes me laugh constantly and treats me well. Because of those reasons, she’s sexy to me. Isn’t that all that matters? I also realize that the attraction won’t be based just on looks; I’ve gotta have the whole package! So, in my world, average-looking woman who seem intelligent and show themselves to have the important qualities like loyalty and integrity quickly become a 10.
I write not to the women whom I think are in the “top 10%” (or 5% or 20% or whatever), but instead to the women whom I find attractive going from their profiles (and who, I think from looking at their preferences, might go for me). I’m not positive how all the other men rate the women I write to, but I do hope that I am able to outshine the competition and get the attention of these women.
No comments:
Post a Comment