PERSONAL/ LOVE: CHEMISTRY AND LOVE

A few days ago...i asked my friend who was female define love for me. "Okay. Love is that feeling you get when you meet the right person." This is how most woman approach love...looking for the elusive chemistry.. Consciously or unconsciously, they believe love is a sensation (based on physical and emotional attraction) that magically, spontaneously generates when Mr. or Ms. Right appears. And just as easily, it can spontaneously degenerate when the magic "just isn't there" anymore. You fall in love, and you can fall out of it. The key word is passivity.

To me...love is a verb, not a noun.Love is the attachment that results from deeply appreciating another's goodness. Love is the result of appreciating another's goodness. I am sure the word "goodness" may surprise you. After all, most love stories don't feature a couple enraptured with each other's ethics. ("I'm captivated by your values!" he told her passionately. "And I've never met a man with such morals!" she cooed.) But I don't live in the movies, I live in the real world.

Nice looks, an engaging personality, intelligence, and talent (all of which count for something) may attract you, but goodness is what moves you to love. If love comes from appreciating goodness, it needn't just happen ― you can make it happen. You can create it. Just focus on the good in another person (and everyone has some). If you can do this easily, you'll love easily. By focusing on the good, you can love almost anyone. That is what I believe.

You say you love someone you've never met by choosing to do so because love is a choice. The best way to feel loving is to be loving ― and that means giving. While most people believe love leads to giving, the truth is exactly the opposite: Giving leads to love.

The effect of giving allows you into another person's world and opens you up to perceiving his or her goodness. At the same time, it means investing part of yourself in the other, enabling you to love this person as you love yourself.

Many years ago, I met a woman whom I found very unpleasant. So I decided to try out the "giving leads to love" theory. One day I invited her for dinner. A few days later I offered to help her with a personal problem. Today we have a warm relationship. The more you give, the more you love. This is why your parents (who've given you more than you'll ever know) undoubtedly love you more than you love them, and you, in turn, will love your own children more than they'll love you.

A man I know once explained why he's been happily married for 25 years. "A relationship has its ups and downs, The downs can be really low ― and when you're in one, you have three choices: Leave, stay in a loveless marriage, or choose to love your spouse.

I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.