Saturday, July 6, 2013

PERSONAL: LOST SOUL

To most people I appear to have a wonderful life - good job, nice home, flashy car, health, reasonably good-looking, amiable, with a good sense of humor. However, I am deeply unhappy. My life revolves around work and I have only a few friends,

I would describe myself as a "lost soul" and this loneliness is draining the life out of me. I have a deep-seated fear of living my life without experiencing  having children or even a family. My parents are older and once they are gone..I will only have my sisters. Many women have fallen in love with me or told me they did, but something always came up and none of them ever  stayed with me forever. Their action didn't match their words. I can't feel words..i can only feel actions. I married someone who I cared for because she had everything else I was looking for but she really didn't love me, It was one of my biggest regrets.

I have been in love before....a long long time ago..and that is the only thing that keeps me going. Maybe I was suppose to be born in a different time when woman knew how to be caring, loving. accepting and wanted to be with a man who had good character. Woman who realize that happiness lies with family and not some job. You want to know what happiness is to me? It's waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and see them in their most peaceful, innocent, and vulnerable state. They breathe as though the weight of the world lays on anyone's shoulder but their own. You smile, kiss their face in the most gentle manner so as not to wake them. You turn back around and an involuntary grin forms on your own face. You feel an arm wrap around your waist, and you know it doesn't get any better than this. That's what I miss.


 I have to believe that every long lost dream, led me to where you are. Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars. Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms. This much I know is true, that god bless the broken road that led me straight to you




I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.

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