SPIRIT: THINKING ABOUT LIFE

It was about few years ago, before I was interested in this spiritual thing at all. I was just laying there on my bed one morning thinking the usual stuff you think about before you get out of bed. I had my eyes closed and I was still quite tired but I knew I had to get up soon so I made the effort. Oh dear! I couldn't move - I had sleep paralysis. I had felt this before and knew that with enough effort I could wiggle out of it. But I couldn't! After about a minute I realized that I was completely stuck. I was incredibly awake, though, in my mind. I though it was quite amusing at first but as the time went on I got scared. What if I am stuck like this forever? I was getting really panicky! My entire body was frozen. What if they think I am dead and bury me alive? I thought!!

Ahhh!! A few more minutes went past and in that time I realized that I was still talking to myself, still conscious and I spent a little while, for the first time in my life, actually questioning what I was. Am I just a brain? What am I? I was asking myself. I had a really bad feeling that I had actually died, and what I was experiencing was the last few electrical pulses of my brain. I felt really sad but realized that there was nothing I could do. I felt quite calm and decided just to slip off in to 'death' (which I thought was the end, just nothingness).

As I relaxed a small blue 'ring' appeared. As soon as I thought about it, it went away again. I relaxed once more and this blue ring came back - it slowly got bigger and bigger. As soon as I 'engaged my mind' and thought about the blue ring it simply floated back the other way. For a few moments I was playing with this blue ring making it get smaller and bigger. In the end I just relaxed, ignored this steadily increasing blue ring and just 'let things happen.'

The ring got bigger and bigger until....... BOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I seemed to go 'through' the blue ring and I was quite amazed to find myself actually floating about in my bedroom! I knew I was still this consciousness thing and I could tell I had no body. I started floating around my room. Wow this is great, I thought! But then, like a ton-of bricks, a realization hit me. I was really dead (well so I thought)! I thought about my family and friends and felt sad. I was dead. The end.......

But then another realization hit me! I WAS ACTUALLY STILL ALIVE!!!! I realized that I WAS NOT MY BRAIN! I didn't know exactly what I was but I knew that I was a point of consciousness that was currently floating around my bedroom. Yes! I thought. There really is life after death!!!!!!

As soon as I thought that last thought there was another BOOM and I was back in my bed, unparalyzed. But I still KNOW that it was definitely no dream. It really happened.

When I was ready one day I asked myself the ultimate question: "What is it all about?" I then went into a meditative trance state and had the most unimaginable, unexplainable experience you could possibly have.

I was paralyzed, I had somehow slipped into a trance, yet I was totally conscious. Unlike when this happened before, this time I couldn't get out of it. "Whats going on?" I asked in my mind again. "You wanted to know what it's all about," came the thought back...

Bang! All of a sudden I woke up. Very strange, I thought and sat up. Whatever happened? Bang! I woke up again! Still lying in my bed! Wow, I thought I woke up but I didn't! Weird. Bang! I woke once more. This is getting freaky I thought! Bang! Awake! Bang......... Bang....... Bang.....bang..... Bang.... Bang... Bang.. BanBanBaBBBBB... These 'false awakenings' got faster and faster and faster until they were producing a constant stream. There was 'No-Time' between these false awakenings. At that point something amazing happened.

I realized I was not me. I was something else, something greater. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I REMEMBERED who I was. I was pure consciousness, I was ALL THAT EXISTED. I was NOTHINGNESS! I was GOD! God was me!

I thought AS GOD - I remembered the reason for creating life. It was the most painful, undescribable loneliness ever, yet at the same time the most wonderful joyful experience as I (being God) created life. Light from the darkness. Life - a positive choice. I realized that I was God and God lived through me (and everybody else, also being me). I understood the true meaning of the One, as that is all that ever has and will exist. No time, only one continuous moment - now. Consciousness is the only thing that exists.

I now had a life! I was still this 'pure consciousness / God' but out of my loneliness I had created life out of myself and now I was experiencing it - actually living it! Through Me (being God) I had chosen life. Positive from negative, light from darkness, everything from nothingness. Everything made sense! I was so happy!  I was not alone anymore! I thanked God again and again for creating us, knowing that I was as much him (her/it whatever) as he was me!

No wonder he loves us because he is us! No wonder we should love each other because we are all parts of the same one consciousness!

Everything was perfect! For the first time it all made sense. I believe in a 'God'. All those kids who think he is an old man with a white beard who sits on a cloud!! I also realized existence was made instantaneously and there is no such thing as time. We live in that one moment where He chose life. It will last for eternity because He never wants to experience such pain of loneliness again.

That was where my journey started. I didn't like to believe in my experiences at first as I thought it was my ego wanting to say 'I am above everybody else.' So I convinced myself that it was impossible that I had experienced 'the ultimate' or merged to the source. I realized that I couldn't 'prove' my experience to anybody but putting up with the ridicule just made me stronger. I realized what a closed-minded bunch of people the majority of humans were and I realized that there was so much more to learn about life. I knew we lived forever, so that led me to the big question.... "So what's the purpose of this life?" I made it the goal for the rest of my life to find out!



God is all. I mean really ALL. It is a force which IS us, not above us, not below us, but IS us. We are God, God is US, we exist because of him, he exists because of us. By us I mean everything: you, me, your pet cat, the sand on a beach. There is only one, but the one is split into an infinite amount.


It was scary for 1 second when I thought I was dead, then I realized that THERE IS NO DEATH! So what can harm us? Nothing! People are scared but if only they would understand

The biggest thing to remember is that BELIEF CREATES - especially in the afterlife. This is why positive thinking works... and this is why negative thinking (black magic) works. This is why some people who have NDEs experience hells or heavens.

Believe, because you create your own reality. God is a schizophrenic who is living in his own dream as many many characters. You are one of those characters. The thing is, each Character IS God, in totality. When a character knows (remembers) this it is called being "God realized" or - enlightened. The external 'dream' (that we experience as our reality) is created by the beliefs and desires of God (which is us). Never under estimate the power of your own belief. BELIEVE in your own belief... your own Godly power, and you can consciously create and direct the movie of your life... If you can dream it, YOU CAN DO IT. Do not entertain doubt - by doubting you are simply believing in the non achievement of your dream! "Consciously directed positive mental energy"— that's what it's all about!