THOUGHTS: SO MUCH TO THINK ABOUT

Maybe at the end of the world, I'll have someone to hold my hand as the sun falls away and all the sky becomes burning night. Someday soon, I'll be able to wake and feel warm and strong arms around me, to know there is a heart beating so closely to mine...it beats for me. What wondrous words love can provoke in the soul, in the mind, in the fear and soul of salvation of anyone. I feel my eye lashes beat soft air against my cheeks and all time slows, the day is long and bright and lonely.  My heart feels like it beats with the entire weight of the world laid upon it - it strains for it's fullness and further anticipation. My life is not perfect - I don't reach for perfection - I reach for protection of heart and of soul. My prayers, I send to the sky, I send to the moon and the sun - they return in full glory sometimes that shows me that life is true and wondrous.I need to know that life is worth living and truth actually lives the way it should. I need to know that when I die, Ive lived the best life I could have ever of chosen. My life, so far, has been a test of my spirit, Please let me see the falling stars as a tribute to love, life and the promise of possibility.

I think about all of issues surrounding life and love and nature and pollution and death and animals...its just all so much to think about and be concerned with. Many people fill their minds with their own tiny little spinning world and not an ounce about anything that isn't self-centered. Theres a giant hole in our protective coating that is the O-Zone layer, the US is at war for no other reason aside from money and oil, in Ghana children are dying of hunger and disease while people the US are obese and wont help themselves. There are so many issues and so much sadness to always be mindful of it, we're only human. But I just think that we need, as a whole, to think more globally and less "me". Of course, people have been saying this for years, and yes, most of those that hear it don't retain it or act on it.

Thinking less about sadness and more about beauty, and the beauty of our surrounding world really helps to cut through the madness of modern life. In a habitat no longer of trees and moss and flowering plants and born into a world of steel and glass and smoke...we still belong to nature. We depend on it though no one seems to pay attention to that little fact. If only mother nature mattered as much to us as our paychecks...sadly though how can that happen in a world that's just concerned with the next form of technology? But I know when I'm feeling stressed out I just lay outside and look up at the sky at twilight where I can see the candy colored sunset combined with the moon shining brightly overhead and I know where my true alliances lie.


At the time of new beginnings - my mind is straying to the people, things and pieces of myself I've lost this year and my whole life...

Dwelling on pain is debilitating and heartbreaking. We do not dwell, or at least we try not to. Our hearts ache and cry and we look for the light to pull ourselves out of the pain. I have lost souls in my life, people have hurt me and used me. We and our loved ones suffer through the deepest pains and torrents of tears to keep going on to a further day. A day that we hope with all of our hearts will be the best of our lives, or at least better than the day we're caught in. My heart aches for those who know pain, feel it and are wrapped in it distorting veil. We bare so much, to only have more thrown at us. We are living creatures wandering aimlessly and painfully through our lives looking for love, happiness and a sense of joy and belonging. Some never find it, others have it in the palm of their hands - only to feel the burning when its ripped away from them.

What is life without love? What is joy without loss? What is laughter without tears? What is life but agony, love and rapture? We need so much, only to come up with what we've made or found, can it be enough? Can short joys be enough to conquer all pain? They can if you believe they can...