SPIRITUAL: THE VOICES OF MY EGO

The voices of my ego and the stories I tell myself usually are intense, urgent, worried and afraid.

-I need to have someone
-i can't stant being alone
-there is something defective with me.

This ego is fueled by a fear of meeting the dreaded false core that I am bad, loser, unlovable. My voice tells me that it's absolutely crucial that I have sex, be wanted, adored. It's not being at home or without anyone that causes my pain. It's the meaning I give to these events...my demand that things should not happen. I guess the minute we start insisting that people and situations be different, we create internal turmoil---sadness. Again...it's all about surrendering

Fome the perspective of quatum physics, we are all made of the same stuff, yet we all appear physically different. How do we deal with this dicotomy of being same but different. But if you look around and see how different everyone is...their clothes, faces, everything....you need to realize that they are all made out of energy field just like yoruself. Every person has to live every day, decide what to wear, face loss, sucess, hurt, shame..just like me. Everybody probably felt anxious just like me. Each person has a story to tell. We find that everyone is inside us, because the whole range of human emotions lives in us. When we distance ourselves from someone else, we create distance within ourselves. I always tell me ...that our relationship hold up a mirror for us to see ourselves. If someone comes us with their grief, and instead of attuning to them, we start crying, we bumped into our own unresloved grief. If we are constantly afraid of someone being angry with us, we need to look at our own buried anger.
So why put on a face? If someone falls in love with our maks, we have two choices:

-we wear the mask and lose ourselves
-remove the mask and lose the relationship

To me kindness is a reflection of a open heart.