POETRY: THE STAGES OF MY HEART

Here we are all settled and warm.
tucked in, talking, riding the storm.
Outside we hear the splashes of rain
filling the gutters to rush down the drain.

We sit close together, watching the fire;
flames come alive and dance even higher.
It's good, just, to be here, safe from the night
talking and laughing, our dreams to excite.

Lightning flashes streak through the sky,
thunder rumbles, like trucks rolling by.
We snuggle together wrapped up in a throw,
watching the fireworks and loving the glow.

Rain on the roof makes a rhythmic sound.
As I melt against you my eyelids come down.
We lean close together, content in repose.
Your eyes are so heavy, lids flutter closed.

We nap there, entangled, without thought or care,
our hearts joined together, as we slumber there.
Wind and rain are drumming outside
But, we are, already, gone from the ride.

2

Everyone, everywhere, everything...is you.
You're all over me, no matter how far away you really are.
You're a part of who I am, what I am and how I feel.
You're a part of how I see and how I hear.


I see you everywhere, even though you are nowhere to be found.
You're there when my eyes are open or when they are closed.
I can't touch anything without it touching you.
I feel you in everything even though you don't touch me.

I hear you in every pitch, I hear you even though you won't talk to me.
You're in my head, my body, my fingers, my toes...my heart.
Your scent is stained over my life and I am drowning in it...
In nothing, in you, I am suffocating in you.

You are the green, the blue, the red and the white
The rainbow draining my life.
You are in me and in every breath I take.
There is no escape from you...

3

you ask why i love you;
where do i start?
because i hold so many things about you
so close to my heart
the way you make me smile
and make every day of my life 
seem worthwhile
the look in your eyes
that makes me realize
that you are my one true love
the one who is sent 
for me from above
it's the way i know
that no matter how far or near
i can just turn around
and you'll always be there
why i love you 
i can't describe
i guess it's for the you
that lives deep inside
now i know exactly what to say
i love you
in every way.



4

Know in thy heart
I'm the one
Whose soul is
entwined with thine

Through eternity
Our hearts are one
They can never be separated
by foe or sorrow

Nothing can come between us
Heaven is on our side
Remembrance of love is
Forever written in the mind.

5

as... morning views of sun swept fire 
caress thy passionate face
as... my heart desires 
to look upon thee 
as... if now, i'm in love 
with thee

6

I've seen days come and go,
I've felt them as they passed through me.
The familiarity of past comfort is no more,
Only the ambiguity of the unknown remains.
This is what I have.

What I had was happiness in my pocket,
But opening my hand shows that only dust remains.
I've crushed the joy that I once knew,
Because I thought I knew it all.
I thought I knew what I had.

Unconditional acceptance, through thick and thin,
Rocksteady pillars of support holding strong,
Steady hands to guide through the rough waters,
Companionship through the solitude that is life.
That's what I really had.

Answers to questions you never thought of,
Desires fulilled through simple gestures,
Happiness of soul combined with completeness of heart,
Freedom to see the world through rose colored glasses.
That's what I really had.

Smiles for no reason, pervaded with warmth,
Steadying force when stumbling over life's pebbles,
Eyes to see who you are, yet brave enough to not mind,
The missing puzzle piece you were never missing.
That's what I really had.

Shoulders with the strength to hold oceans shed,
Feet to stand when the world crumbles around,
Hips swivel, swinging the defiant dance,
The love eminating from every fiber of your being.
That's what I really had.

How quick the sun can drop away,
Leaving shadows where smiles lived.
Lessons are all that can be salvaged,
So painstaking that they are not worth the knowledge.
This is all I have.

The drop of a hat signals the end,
A smile withdrawn seals the deal.
Warmth wilts to coldness, then to nothing,
Shoulders give way to an unforgiving back.
This is what I wish I didn't have.

The removal of the missing puzzle piece
Somehow takes many more with it.
Only along the road of life
Can we find other pieces to fill ourselves.
This is what I don't have.

Eventually the picture is complete again,
Having somehow opened up enough to let it be.
The cycle starts over from the beginning,
The ending yet to be determined.
This is what I can have.

Past failures will be learned from,
Giving to future successes.
The diamond in the rough will shine,
Sparkle in your eyes having returned once again.
This is what I will have.
Someday.

7

come by my window
save me from the day
be my love forever 
love me with all of your heart
say you will always be by my side
FOREVER?

forever will you stay 
keeping me warm throughout the night 
say to me the secrets of our love 
tell me you love me...
FOREVER?

8

I visited the seashore,
For several hours today,
I hoped to clear my heart and mind,
And wile the hours away.
I strolled along the shoreline,
Then I walked out on the dock,
I sat entranced, for far too long,
On top of Lover's Rock.?
I watched the sea gulls on the sand,
Some pelicans flew by,
The dolphins did their graceful thing,
And I began to cry,
How many times, we've done these things,
As I have done today,
I came here for some answers,
Hoping I could find my way.
I watched the waves caress the shore,
The rising of the tide,
Each thing I did, we both have done,
I cried some more inside.
The beauty of an ocean shell,
Was tempting to my hand,
With neither heart nor spirit,
It remained there on the sand.
A crumbling castle, made of sand,
Is soon to be reclaimed,
The castle, like a crumbling love,
No one is to be blamed,
To come here, sit here, do these things,
Is punishment for me?
With you or without you,
There's no place I'd rather be.
To come here, sit here, do these things,
For me is certain sorrow,
But just as I am here today,
I will be here tomorrow.

9

Each life is a path,
a road destine to eternity.
Eventually each path of life crosses the path of love.
Sometimes the paths become as one,
leading together to share eternity.
Other times, love is just an intersection,
in which love will always be there on your path,
but only something you have to overcome
to reach your destiny.
Sometimes I find myself asking where my path is leading me
Is it leading me anywhere.
Am I searching for a love that could never be,
or will my path cross love yet once again?
Each day as I make my way a little further down my path,
I wonder if I have taken the right one,
or will this be yet another blemish
added to my tattered path toward destiny?
How can I be sure I'm headed in the right direction,
I ask myself.
Only I get no answer,
Just The Silent Beating of My Heart.


10

I sit by my window and see my world around,
There?s so much chaos and confusion, but I can?t hear a sound.
A stranger caught my eye one-day, far down below,
We stared at each other... there's so much we want to know.
Our days went by slowly, our paths crossed now and then,
Our eyes became the papers while our minds held the pen.
Would you take my hand in yours and guide me through and through?
Or would you give me all sweet kisses...to find that none are true?
Do we chance our hearts and suffer the consequence later?
Or do we chance our hearts to find... there?s no other love greater?
That magical night had finally come when two souls would combine,
Our future now remained to the man above, and the slow process of time.
Our first kiss left it's imprint... deep within my mind,
I found myself hungering for you, but that kiss would do just fine.
Your presence seems to have touched me, to the very core of my being,
I remember looking into your eyes and wondering,
?Is this real? Am I dreaming??
True love is something I?ve never thought I?d find,
Before I met you my dear, life had not been kind.
Like a leaf upon the wind, for so long I was astray,
But now that I've found you my love, forever I want to stay.
You're always on my mind, every second of the day,
A strong caffeine intake, that just won?t go away.
The times we spent together bought us closer to the truth,
Our hearts told no tale while our voices remained mute.
Your face is etched deep in... right before my eyes,
The love I feel for you has no false or hidden disguise.
Soul mates is what we are, destined to be together,
True love is what we have, something that lives beyond forever..

11

Once I stood in the light of your darkness
And I percieved myself an equal
Though no one understood, I felt a oneness with you
that was unequal to all things
thought or imagined
At that point in time the difference between us was unoticed
by me....
But not by you
You had an understanding of the fear of change
You felt the sting of unjust dislike
for a color I never saw
In your own way you protcted me....
from me
And life moved on
Past a decade of time I have come to understand
We were not equal
In so many eyes you were less
In my eyes... I was never enough

12

I heard your voice as a whisper in the wind;
I almost didn't hear it at all... 
for it was light and soft.

You called my name, I turned around-
but you were nowhere to be found.

I know you're far away, you see,
but in my heart you're here with me.

The wind can fool the mind and heart
When whispered lightly in the ear...

And what it really did to me
was bring a rush of tears.