Have you ever heard the heartbreaking words? ( I love you, but I dont think I am IN Love with you anymore.) These were the most painful, life changeing words I have ever heard in my life! These are the words you usually hear before your mate leaves you, or before you get divorced ,the words pierce through your very soul when they are uttered to you, they mean your partner
dosnt find you attractive anymore, they also mean I dont trust you, I dont admire you, I dont respect you, I dont get excited by you, OR DO THEY?????????????????? Does anyone ever really fall out of love???
The answer may surprise you, but it is no. Then why do so many relationships fail? Well When people first date, or even the first so many years of a marriage they have what I like to call (butterflies) These butterflies tell them that whoa I really like this person, this is new its exciting, I better hold on to this person so they really put in alot of effort and energy into
the relationship. At this stage of the relationship it is very easy to give of yourself because you dont want to loose this wonderful person you have found , they can do no wrong in your eyes. Usually in this stage your intimacy and communication level is extremely high, sex is very
frequent.......Sound familiar? The next stage of the relationship everything isnt as exciting....why because the butterflies are gone yes their gone! Stress of life has set in, kids, bills, no time, work and it becomes harder to give to the relationship because to some it becomes just another demand. So instead of focusing on these wonderful qualities you once saw , you start focusing on everything you dont like , you start noticing all the negative things, the dissapointments build and you become dissattisfied, dissallusion sets in, you start thinking if my mate could only be like this or have a job like so and so, or maybe if they would just stop picking their nose so much......etc.. This is the stage where the person thinks if they just change the things they dont like about you ,they would love you more....so they go to work trying to change you and that
becomes their job!
Yes, it becomes their fulltime job to try and make you better! They will spend tons of energy trying to change the things they dont like about you and in the process they will find more things that they need to change about you because they are now focusing all the energy they have on all the negatives. So in the process they become unhappy , they are now getting so frustrated they cant even enjoy life because they are in a constant state of anxiety because they are living with someone that is so imperfect, they actully come to a point where they think they are superior to you (and the people you know) at this stage intimacy is becoming less and less, less enthusiasm for communicating and having sex, alot of things you use to do are no more, Does any of this ring a bell????? The last stage they start to question themselves , god if I am so unhappy with everything my mate is doing I must not love them anymore? How can I be in love them if I dislike so many things about them? why dont I want to have sex with them anymore? Usually by this time communication about anything intimate becomes just an argument and sex has prettty much stopped. Now here comes the turning point, heres where they decide to change somthing else because they realize they arnt going to be able to change you, so they decide to move out or get divorced and now you come in and here those devastating , heart breaking words. I love you but, I am not in love with you anymore.
Is this really the case, did they stop loving you ?No, what happens is they just replaced the good feelings they had for you with a lot of negative ones because they forgot why they fell in love with you in the first place. Usually by the time they have realized that they were really still in love with you it is to late! People who do this obviously have some problems, if you are the one questioning your love for someone I suggest you get help in dealing with your problems before you destroy your relationship and loose the one you love, remember if you fell in love with them once , the feelings are still their they are just barried beneath some junk. You can dig up those feelings again its just going to take some work.
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