We live in a society where over 50% of marriages end in divorce. I have no clue how many non-married couples split up, but I am sure its even higher.
Typically, the highest cause for divorce or a relationship split is infidelity, aka cheating. Cheating is when you go behind your partners back in order to become intimate with another person. Typically, the cheating happens when you break your marriage vows, you know… the whole part of spending your life with one person. However, there are couples that are not married and that treat the relationship with a high level of respect. When one person goes out and cheats, it tremendously hurts the other partner because of the level of trust and committment that both were putting into the relationship.
MY ANSWER:
So what makes people cheat?
People cheat for a myriad of reasons. Lack of passion in the bedroom, lack of communication, bad marriage, selfishness, lack of attention, and the list could go on and on.
Here is the problem. Most people are wimps. People that cheat are cowards weak. So, if you have cheated before, you are weak. Sorry to say that, but its true. Let me explain.
When you enter into a serious relationship, you are placing trust into the other person. You are placing, often, your heart, soul, secrets, and your whole being with the trust of the other person. You love them, you would do anything for them.
If you are lacking attention from your partner, then you need to communicate this to them. You need to TALK. God forbid a couple would actually TALK there problems out.
Most relationships lack communication. You know, the whole Person A talks to Person B thing. If there is a problem, you find a solution.
A lot of people try and take the easy way out.
Lets take an example of a man and his wife:
The couple hasn’t had sex in a while. The man pursues the sex, but his wife isn’t giving it to him. Problem is, they aren’t discussing WHY they aren’t having sex. So the man gets frustrated, goes out with his buddies to the local bar, has a few drinks, and ends up in the sack with some girl.
Sounds typical, doesn’t it. The man, who was frustrated with his wife, decided to get his rocks off with another person, behind his wife’s back, without her consent, and voluntarily removed the ‘trust’ in the relationship. The reason that man is now a coward is because he couldn’t confront his wife about the situation and how he felt.
He went behind her back! I can’t stress this part enough.
When you cheat on someone, you are breaking that vow, whether it was verbal or not, that you are in a relationship. Its all about having your cake and eating it to.
People often think they can have their little ‘perfect life’ in front of friends and family (their cake) and then behind the scenes can go off and have sex with other people behind their partners back (and eating the cake too).
Thats not right!
Its one thing if you are married and are swingers (where you mutually allow for each other to have sex with other people), but MOST couples aren’t swingers. This particular post is directed toward those that are in a monogamous relationship.
The Guilt
Ok, so back to our story. The man wakes up in bed with another woman because his wife wasn’t satisfying him. You know, because he was a coward. Now he feels guilty. Now he is banging on his head saying:
What in the hell did I do? What was I thinking? Why did I do that? Do I tell my wife? What about our kids?
See, the man thought with his dick, not his real head. The problem with cheating is that most people don’t think. They don’t think of consequences. They don’t think of repercussions of their actions. The man doesn’t think about his wife, his kids, their family. After he gets off, though, all those thoughts come swimming back.
If you are in a relationship that has problems, you have to talk about them. Get the problems in the open so that both you and your partner can determine the best action to take, whether its counseling, divorce, improving the relationship, etc…
If you don’t talk, the relationship will continue to dwindle until someone DOES crack and ends up cheating.
Affairs ruin lives. Not only the lives of the parents, but the lives of the children. Putting a child through divorce is one of the worst things, as a parent, you can do to them.
Most parents, though, are selfish and again, don’t consider the ramifications of their choices.
A solution
Communicate to your partner about your feelings. Discuss why the relationship is dwindling and there is a lack of passion in the bedroom. There could be hundreds of reasons why, but a couple needs to fix the communication issue.
Another solution is this:
Get off! Have an orgasm. Let me explain why I say this.
In the case up above, the man needed to get off because his wife wasn’t doing the job (which could actually be partly HIS fault in the long run). Most likely, the moment he has an orgasm with the woman from the bar, he will fill guilty and kick himself for what he did. If he would merely get off on his own, then he would have no reason to go be with someone else. And, his marriage would still be intact.
Clarification - The man in the above situation may cheated because his wife wasn’t passionate in the bed, maybe he feels lonely, inadequate, angry, or a myriad of other reasons.
Now, obviously, the above case isn’t the situation EVERYONE is in. Some guys or gals just want to go and experience someone else because they can’t stand the thought of being with 1 person the rest of their life.
If you want to date multiple people, tell your partner what you want to do. You have to be open and honest with your partner. Going behind their back, though, is the wrong way to do things.
I find it ignorant when men cheat on their wives, and when they find out the wife is sleeping around, they get mad. That makes no sense.
In Conclusion
I realize most of my example above dealt with the man being the guilty party. This goes for ALL relationships, all partners involved, whether its heterosexual or homosexual.
The best advice I can give is:
* 1. Don’t Cheat
* 2. Communicate with your partner
* 3. Be Honest
* 4. Realize there are consequences for your actions - Think about those involved that could be hurt.
* 5. Overall, be a good partner. Bring something positive to the relationship rather then take away.
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