LOVE/THOUGHTS: THE SOULMATE THING

If one person in the world was absolutely perfectly matched for you, chances are, they're not going to be in your neighborhood. Thus, the chances of running into your soulmate are slim to none; and even if you did, we have so many surface encounters that it's highly unlikely that we would recognize the person as such. It has to be rare--almost unheard of, even--to find your soulmate. But again, that doesn't mean they aren't out there somewhere.

Some take issue with the idea of a soulmate. It's so idealistic and faith-based due to the rarity of stumbling upon such a person...so how do we know they exist? It's actually highly logical that they do. Think about it this way. We have X amount of personality traits, hopes, dreams, desires, etc. If you think about it mathematically, most people are going to have some of the same traits as you. Some others might match with you better, and a handful are bound to match you frighteningly well. And, for some extremely rare cases, someone can match you across the board.

One thing that holds fairly true for me, however you look at it, is that the world is cruel. well, not precisely cruel... it's just neutral. indifferent. it has no consciousness, the universe does not form things based on any particular considerations... things just happen. there's a considerable amount of chaos in the existences of many things, and subsequently, it's difficult to make claims about some one (or perhaps even multiple) person (people) who really really fit with you.

Then there's the sexuality of the thing. a "soul mate" is rarely considered to be a "friend," it's a *lover*. so, what happens when you have an individual who lacks a sex drive? that's only the tip of the iceberg, besides... all the things that can happen to someone or the conditions a person can get. especially in the cases where you're a one-soulmate'er, the implications... i mean, what about all the people who die as kids?

And... aside from the thing that i just don't really see any reason to believe in it one way or another... that kinda gets to the point of part of my pessimism about soulmates. people who believe in 'em seem to view them as a *positive* thing, but if you think of it, the concept of a soulmate would frequently be *supremely* cruel. masses of people get their lives snuffed out by murder, war, accident, disease so commonly - if everyone has a soulmate, then our souls are being torn apart and snuffed out on a constant basis.


If there is something I'm pretty realistic about, it's love. So I don't believe in this 'soul mates' thing. I never did. But don't get me wrong, I actually think that is good. I don't believe in it, not because I was disappointed about love in the past, but to me, a healthy and great relationship can only work out if the two are involved. It's all about sharing, knowing, accepting (or not), in another words, constructing. At least for me, the idea that something all 'pre-fabricated' (it's just a silly word, I can't think of a better one right now) is right there somewhere waiting for us it's just a fairy tale and pretty unrealistic. I mean, do we really want to find another 'us'? I think many people have the potential to become 'our perfect pair' in a determined stage of our lives. I think all of my ex boyfriends (I didn't have a lot, actually, only 3 serious ones) had something I felt connected with, at that particular time. And I feel connected to my current boyfriend now as well, right now, I think he's my 'perfect match'. I don't want to think about forever, because it's such a long time and if there is something we can't be certain of, it's about future. But I think we are trying our best to construct our lives as we go through this journey.

To me, one of the problems believing in soul mates is that there is a risk you'll wait forever for that person who, to your desires, it's the right one for you, and you will look at every person you meet with judging eyes (you'll be watching if he/she fulfills your personal 'list') and you will also find defects (which, we all have, and a lot of them). And if you go into every relationship looking for the perfect one, and it never seems to appear, you could feel pretty bad about yourself too. I don't really like to read articles about 'soul mates', so I apologize if I'm getting something wrong or approaching the issue superficially, but a perception I have it's that people expect too much from others, and if they don't meet their high expectations, they become frustrated and blame on things like destiny, bad luck, or such. We grew up watching all those unrealistically romantic movies and Disney's princesses cartoons, that some people have a distorted image of love. So you may lose a lot of possibilities to be happy with the person you met. So to me, there is also no such thing as 'love at first sight', only attraction, but we have to make it work if we want to go to another level.

When I meet someone, I know the things I feel naturally atracted to, but I like to keep my mind in a 'blank page' mode, that is, letting things flow and see what happens. Not expecting anything. But of course, there are some things that you have to consider, to me for example, it's that I could accept that my partner is totally different from me, it's actually great to share different experiences and points of view, but in the end, we need to have certain common values (for example, regarding to loyalty, respect, family, trust).

Well, in the end, it's all about beliefs, and everyone knows what's better for them. So I respect people who believe in soul mates too. Maybe they are more spiritual and romantic than me. I must say that belief it's great when it helps you feel motivated, full of energy and love, and when it makes you want to become a better person. Real love does all this wonderful things. But, when it makes you feel frustrated, sad, depressed, that's when it's time to review your beliefs/statements. We can't make something as magnificent as love as a real pain in our lives! You can tell I don't identify at all with that saying: "True love hurts".