LOVE/ THOUGHTS:SOUL MATE ARE REALLY PEOPLE TOO

 A good friend of my is divorcing her husband because she bought into the lie that God wants us to "be happy" in marriage and freed from her current spouse to find her one, true "soul mate." Like most other people, she has this fantastical, unreal notion that God brings together two lost hearts who experience true compatibility in all the deepest longings of their being. Most people think that your soul mate is someone that you never argue with and spend endless days of hand-clinching romantic walks on the beach with. No hardships, no struggles, just starry-eyed wonder for the next 80 years. The truth is, a soul mate isn't someone you find, it's someone you intentionally and prayerfully become.

Anyone in a successful marriage can tell you that "success" in marriage doesn't come from finding that one person you were meant to be with. It only comes from giving up the selfish behavior that served you while you were single, and focusing on selflessly serving your spouse instead. A happy marriage requires a completely different mindset than the 50/50 concept most couples enter into marriage with. The idea that if I do my 50% and Sabrina does her 50%, we will have a happy marriage is ridiculous. The only way to have a happy marriage is if I take the selfish focus off of myself and put 100% of my energy into serving each my partner and she does the same with me. If I am focused 100% on serving her I don't even realize when my needs and desires aren't being met, because I'm not focused on my needs and desires, but hers.

Nowhere in the Bible does God say anything about soul mates. God gives us the simple details on how to have a great marriage. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Wives, respect your husbands. Both of these are intentional acts of selfless sacrifice that will guarantee us to have a happy marriage.