PERSONAL : HIGH FIDELITY AND THE REAL EPIPHANY HERE

I re-watch High Fidelity about once a year, just to see how much I’ve changed. I watched my friends marry off, have kids, buy houses, etc., and I didn’t understand. I kept having bad relationships. I kept going with my gut each time: “Maybe this new girl is the one.” Finally, I had the same epiphany that Rob has around the 100-minute mark in High Fidelity: “I’ve come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.” High Fidelity isn’t really about music, and every time I re-watch the film, I’m reminded. “High fidelity” is just another phrase for commitment, and the peace that comes from letting go of the rest of what doesn’t matter. I’m sure there’s some Buddhism in here somewhere. When you commit to somebody — really, really commit to something real and steady, you can get something that transcends the fantasy (even if piles of shoes accumulate in front of every door and half-full glasses of water collect on every flat surface).You get to come home to that person.

Like Santa Claus and the tooth fairy, the soul mate myth dissolves into the realization that it is real people, not fantasy creatures, who satisfy our needs and desires. And if I remain stuck in the idea that every potential mate must meet an idealistic standard, I would miss out on real opportunities to meet real people. Imaginary lovers are always better than real ones. It's because we write all the parts. A type is nothing more than familiarity. Whether the familiar sense of comfort comes from the image in your head or the fact that your ex had red hair and green eyes doesn't mean you can't feel equally comfortable with someone with different characteristics. As the familiarity increases, your new "type" develops.

As Rob said in the movie:" I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and… I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that’s suicide. By tiny, tiny increments" I am going to change my approach from now on..

I do have a great life, a house, a great job..health, my family... it’s all just providing a soundtrack for a pretty good life in high fidelity. but I am ready to share it with someone. That’s the real epiphany here.