PERSONAL: MAYBE ONE DAY I WILL MEET YOU

Maybe One Day I Will Meet You

And maybe one day I’ll be reading a book at the Laundromat. Some movement will catch my eye and then I’ll see you taking your clothes out of the dryer. That minutes and trials all lead up to us together, somewhere. I’ll get nervous when I see you, wondering if I should say anything. But you’ll notice me. You said once, you’ll always notice me. I didn’t really know what you meant by it and never asked you to clarify. Some things are better left to wonder.

You’d come up to me asking if I thought socks were worth folding. We’d smile and it would take everything in me to not make a scene in front of the dryers. We would talk about the books we’ve read, the movies we saw. How we both wrote a handful of stories involving timing and chance to the point we didn’t believe it in anymore. Stories of strings with knots always getting caught on doorknobs. How we both have trouble completely forgetting. People lay idle in the dust of our minds, dormant in our toes until we come crashing into corners.

I don’t know if these chance meetings really exist. If your fingers are already tied to someone, somewhere, a joining imminent in the future. I’m not one for butterflies. A person I knew once said how terrifying they were. Their paths were so sporadic, completely unpredictable. A pretty poison when predators bit down. You’re butterfly lays sleepy somewhere. Resting for when it’s ready to be released. When faith in more, in trial and error, in guess and check works out to something beautiful. When our knots untie and the string to our hearts is merely inches apart.

Maybe, the last maybe, we weren’t meant for anything else. Someone else will replace my thoughts before I close my eyes. Your name will be only a smile, a happy “she did it” when I see it all over the place. 

I needed to make you see me once. You had to know that I was alive.Why do I, and everyone I love, pick people who treat us like we're nothing? We accept the love we think we deserve.

I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home. I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love.