FAN: FROM A FAN

I was in love with you for such a long time, for so long you were in my every thought and in many actions. I carried this love around with me somewhat secretively and silently. It had no where to go. I was alone with it. There was nobody and no body to accept it. But I realized later it is what it is. Cant change anybody, cant make them love or want you if they don't. Being committed is not about chasing someone in hopes they will return your love and accept you. No, I made that mistake before also. Being committed needs to be about a relationship, a relationship with two minds, hearts, and souls. If there is only one person loving the other it is not that, and if you commit yourself to that you are committing yourself to the lonely zone of unrequited love. And there is no reason to try to be a matyr and savior, we already have Jesus. And don't try to understand things, if you live in the world of why, you wont get out. The hardest thing maybe is trying to figure out what to do with that space. Kinda like decorating. What do you do with that empty space?  Take a breather and enjoy the extra oxygen, or fill the space with something new, or cherish the development of a different type of love a renewed friendship of sorts.

I love you Alex. And I love you for you,  I see and feel you I always will. God can explain that that one to me when I meet him. When im old and grey, without one glimmer of sexiness left in me, I will still love and would like you to meet my grandchildren, maybe they can be friends with yours, although ill be watching what you whisper in your grandson ear about my granddaughter, saying go after that, that is some good pussy right there.