THOUGHTS:WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO

It’s easy to get stuck in life.

In fact, for most of us, it just happens. One day we just realize it.

We get that nagging feeling that “doing this, here, was not what I was meant to be doing.”  We get that nagging feeling that there’s somewhere else we should be. We dream of escaping constantly.

Life has a little bit less zing to it. Happy things don’t get us quite as happy, and sad things – wait, life is sad, we tell ourselves – so we suck it up.

We start telling our friends who are having hard times “Welcome to life. Anything you want has to be attained through struggle and warfare with life.”

“Dreams? Who can afford them.”

“At least I’m paying my bills and I have a place to live.”

“Ehh that’s only possible for a select few people.”

For most of us, we hit that “stuck/fucked” spot right when we get the first secure job. It pays us good enough so that we don’t worry, we get a good enough apartment, then a good enough spouse, then a good enough marriage. And then life is “Eh, good enough” for the rest of our lives.

Fuck good enough.

You can tell l if You’re Stuck

#1 You have less energy and couldn’t care less about anything

The most overwhelming and obvious sign is low energy and a general inability to get motivated.  Everything seems like a struggle.

u just don’t care anymore. 

Everything is too much effort for you, nothing seems to get you super aroused and happy (Usually the only thing that does that is when the person gets a spouse/falls in love, etc. Which is basically their only anchor into sanity).

Underlying the signs and symptoms of depression, dullness, hollowness, don’t-give-a-fuck-ness, there is a serious lack of motivation to do anything.

#2 Everything seems impossible (even small stuff)

When you get stuck, everything is a struggle. Even if you’re off at five, and you usually play video games till midnight, you still complain about going to the gym and lack of time even though you’re getting fatter and fatter.

When you don’t have enough money for something (a vacation, an engagement ring, a new toy, a new car, etc.) you don’t have the mental energy to figure out how to earn it and pay for it. You just complain, you whine about how difficult life is and how you just wish you were earning more money.

This lack of energy and zest is closely tied in with #3

#3 You rationalize mediocre circumstances as being “just the way it is”

What does lack of energy + everything seeming impossible = ?

A chronic cynic.

“This is just the way life is.”

They become a person who has no concept outside of the brutal “realities” of life. Outside of the normal paradigm for most: suffering in a job, deadly commutes, boring leisure time, jack-shit on the weekend, and an average spouse.

When your car breaks down, you lose your job, and your wife divorces you  - all on the same day – these kind of people say stuff like “That’s life.”  It’s like their emotional intelligence has vaporized into thin air.

They are far beyond entertaining silly stuff like “dreams,” “passions,” and other stuff.  Sometimes they entertain the idea of making a big life change like moving abroad, traveling long-term, or quitting their job – but they almost never follow through.

They’ve given up.

#4 Your intuition isn’t working (you don’t feel anything)

Another symptom that you feel stuck is that you’re emotionally semi-dead.

When you ask people like this what they would rather be doing, or where they’d rather be, they just say “Anywhere but here.”

It’s like you’ve numbed yourself to reality to try and cope with it better – higher lows, and lower highs, but more consistency you tell yourself.

But here’s the problem when you’re no longer connecting with your intuition – you end up doing stupid stuff because you think you should, and not because of how it makes you feel. Like trying to increase your earning potential in a job you already hate.

#5 You get pissed off over the smallest, most inconsequential things

To me, this has always been a symptom of being stuck, or feeling trapped in the rat race. You just have to vent. You have to get that angry bitter shit out of you,

Ever met someone who complains about traffic, the new co worker, spilling their coffee, being out of shape, the dog shitting on the rug, some rude person in the coffee line, the weather, etc. etc. every day?

Complaining is the most exciting part of their day – and it’s just about the only attention they get.

There’s one thing about getting stuck though – it’s easy and will happen naturally unless you invest time into not getting stuck.

How to Get Un-Stuck

There’s one important characteristics of getting stuck.

It’s all in your head.

Ever heard stories of kids who are way bigger than their dads but are still getting beaten and abused by them?

Heard stories of genius ghetto kids that stay stuck achieving nothing because their mom called them “lousy pieces of shit that will go nowhere” ?

Know someone who has been bullied their entire lives, and still, as a grown man, won’t stand up for anything?

It’s because our minds have been trained to behave certain ways and believe certain things.

It’s like your momma always said “Stop calling your brother an idiot! Or else one day he’ll think he is one!”

And it’s kinda like that saying “If you think you can and if you think you can’t – you’re right.”

Getting unstuck is all about getting your head right.

#1 Decide you want to be writing a better story

It amazes me how many people love wallowing in their own misery.I always tell them it’s a great way to jumpstart your motivation and get some energy back.

More than one has given me the “Ehhh that sounds like a lot of work, I have an apartment, car, job… mumble…mumble…” response.

In other words, fear. Laziness. Mental laziness more than anything.

Are you honestly willing to put in the effort?  The idea of suffering and slowly dying in a life you hate has got to be worse than the pain of busting your ass to fix it.

#2 Move across the world (seriously)

Some people need a real kick in the groin to get started. And some people need a massive change of scenery, a massive transitional period, to help get them motivated again and excited about life. Scary but true.

Although I’ve previously said that quitting your job to travel won’t solve shit (regarding personal/life issues), there are fewer things that can jumpstart people’s motivation and happiness more.

Many travelers went abroad long-term because 

A) They’re job sucked or they couldn’t find one, or 

B) They just got out of a long-term relationship and needed to get out.
I honestly recommend dropping everything and going – if you’re stuck, sick and tired of everything, and want an adventure.

And no, it’s not irresponsible. No it’s not terrifying.  If you’re in a mediocre life with a mediocre job and a mediocre boyfriend/girlfriend and you’re tired of all of them, what is there to lose? You’ve already lost.


#3 Downsize and kill yo debt (get un-trapped by your stuff)

Unless you have some life and death illness, getting rid of debt should be your #1 priority for anyone that plans on being un-stuck.

The only way to get unstuck..is to work...get a second job..or even a third one...

Which brings us to the last one –

#4 Understand the rat race

You’re stuck in the rat race when you barely make enough to get by.

Making $35k a year and s, a $1000/month apartment, a food leaves just about $2.50 left in your checking account. That’s to buy the bullet and rent the gun.

So for the next 10 or 20 or 40 years we dutifully work our way up to a little more financial security, or in our heads that’s what we tell ourselves. But we get so stuck in paying bills mode we don’t even sit back for two seconds to think of what we really want to do.

You end up like a bunch of my friends who take the highest paying job, every time, and take certifications to increase their earning potential at jobs they already hate.


I am searching for my future wife/soulmate. Please stop by again.