THOUGHTS: ABOUT MARRIAGE

Do you remember when you were a child and you dreamed about what you wanted to be when you grew up? When you dreamed about getting marry and having a family? Do you remember how your dreams used to look like? Is your life now the way you dreamed it? I bet is not and I also bet most of the answers to those questions were also no. I bet that not even you are the same way that you dreamed you were going to be at this moment of your life or the same way you were when you were having all those dreams. The main reason for that is that everything changes and we all change. We change from the moment we born until the moment we are destined to go. And with that process comes the knowing and accepting that we never stop knowing everything about ourselves. In that same way, we never stop knowing everything about anyone around us, even about that significant other that lay next to us every night. Still, that is exactly what makes life the amazing journey that it is. A journey that is full of characters but that it is special and unique for every one of them. Marriage is part of that journey that is life. Marriage is what makes that journey fuller of life and adventure. It takes us to our maximum point of evolution in where wisdom, patience and courage help us to become our best us. With my fail marriage...this is what I learned...that in order to make that journey one that we could enjoy we must remember that marriage is not about stop being yourself to be some else’s self. It is not a job or a mandate. It is a journey that begins with all that it is being you and that is about being you every day of your life. Marriage is to make that same journey but with the acceptance that those we chose to be at our side as part of our life are the way they are because they just are and cannot be what we want or how we want. We must love and accept people as they are and for what they are, not for what they have or can have or for who they can become. Marriage is about accepting and understanding changes; accepting that the person next to you will change and will become a lot of different persons in the future but understanding that the essence of it will always be the same and therefore is perfect. Marriage is being able of saying something nice to that other person every moment of every day for the rest your days, not because you have to or even want to but because you cannot avoid it. Marriage is being able to love everything that you hate in that other person because that was exactly what stole your mind and heart away. There are no roles in a marriage, there cannot be. Roles are for institutions where rules and ordinances maintain the order because there cannot be real and disinterested trust. Marriage is an agreement between and within two souls. It is an agreement for them to be able to be together in this life, with each other, no matter what. Souls don’t hold degrees and are not professionals, are just souls and like any other ente it needs to be fed. And there is no better food for the soul than giving and receiving nice words from those and for those you love and love you. It is an inexpensive gift that can be unique, special and can make a moment to last forever.