JOURNAL:

There is something deeper in me..an underlying feeling, gut feeling at who I am. I am not enough and I am too much at the same time. Not rich enough, not smart enough, no handsome enough. This result in shame.

If I was a better person, whatever that means...life wouldn't be hard...right> I wouldn't have so many struggles. there would be less sorrow in my heart. Why do my days seem so unimportant, filled not with adventure, but with duties and demands? I feel unseen..and I feel uncertain. Aware of my deep failing...but the desire set deep in my heart seem like a luxury, granted only to those seem to have their act together.

I was brought up to believe that the heart is central...above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Because God know that our heart is core to who we are. It is the source of all our creativity, our courage, and our convictions. It is the fountainhead of my faith, my hope and of course...my love.